Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 첫 문장은 의미 전달이 불명확하고 어순과 문법 오류가 있습니다. 응답은 직접적인 주제문으로 시작하고, 그 다음에 구체적인 이유와 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 연결어(For example, Because, Also)를 사용해 문장 흐름을 자연스럽게 하고, 관사(a/the)와 복수형 사용, 어순을 정확히 하세요. 예: ‘I enjoy shopping because it lifts my mood quickly. For example, I often shop at Daiso, a dollar store in Korea, where prices are reasonable and I can find many useful items.’

例: I enjoy shopping because it lifts my mood quickly. For example, I often shop at Daiso, a dollar store in Korea, where prices are reasonable and I can find many useful items.

提案: 대체로 답은 명확하지만 어휘 형태와 관사 사용, 구문이 어색합니다. 주제문 뒤에 이유를 간결하게 연결하고, 연결어(By, Because, So)을 자연스럽게 쓰세요. 반복을 피하고 'compare prices' 같은 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 예: ‘Yes, I always compare prices because the same products can cost different amounts at different shops, so I can get a better deal.’

例: Yes, I always compare prices because the same products can cost different amounts at different shops, so I can get a better deal.

提案: 의미는 전달되지만 문법(단수/복수, 시제)과 관사의 사용을 고쳐야 합니다. 주제문을 명확히 하고 이유를 설명할 때 시제와 어순을 일치시키세요. 또한 연결어(so, because)를 써서 문장이 자연스럽게 이어지도록 하세요. 예: ‘Yes, it is difficult because I often spend a long time browsing online until I find the exact design I want, so shopping becomes time-consuming.’

例: Yes, it is difficult because I often spend a long time browsing online until I find the exact design I want, so shopping becomes time-consuming.

提案: 주장 표현(‘Second’)은 부적절하며 일반화가 강합니다. 먼저 직접적으로 질문에 답하고, 그 다음에 균형 잡힌 이유와 예시를 제공하세요. 절대적 표현 대신 조건을 제시하고 대조 표현(However, Although)을 사용하면 더 설득력 있습니다. 예: ‘Not always. Although expensive products often come with better warranties and customer service, cheaper items can be good value if they meet your needs.’

例: Not always. Although expensive products often come with better warranties and customer service, cheaper items can offer good value if they meet your needs.

× As I enjoy shopping because shopping up loves my mood immediately, they are really good diversion.

✓ As I enjoy shopping because it lifts my mood immediately, it is a really good diversion.

The student used 'shopping up' and 'they' incorrectly. Use the pronoun 'it' to refer to the activity 'shopping' (singular, non-person). Also use 'lifts' for the present tense with singular noun. Suggestion: refer to activities with 'it' and ensure verb agrees with singular subject.

× These days I spend a lot of money in Daiso which is dollar shop in Korea.

✓ These days I spend a lot of money at Daiso, which is a dollar shop in Korea.

Missing article 'a' before 'dollar shop' and wrong preposition 'in' for a store. Use 'at' for shopping at a specific store and include the indefinite article before the noun phrase. Suggestion: use 'at' for locations and include articles where needed.

× They sell everything reasonable price.

✓ They sell everything at reasonable prices.

Missing preposition 'at' and plural form 'prices' to match 'everything' and general meaning. Also 'reasonable' modifies 'prices' so plural is appropriate. Suggestion: use 'at reasonable prices' when describing general cost levels.

× I compare price before buying something.

✓ I compare prices before buying something.

Use plural 'prices' and no third-person singular verb issue here; original lacks plural noun. Suggestion: use plural 'prices' when referring to multiple items or general practice.

× This is because many stores sell same items at different prices.

✓ This is because many stores sell the same items at different prices.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'same items'. Use 'the same' to indicate identical items. Suggestion: include 'the' in 'the same items'.

× By per comparing prices I can buy items more reasonable prices.

✓ By comparing prices, I can buy items at more reasonable prices.

Unnecessary word 'per' and missing preposition 'at' before 'more reasonable prices'. Also need a comma after the introductory phrase. Suggestion: use 'By comparing prices' and 'at more reasonable prices'.

× It's quite difficult for me to make choice when I shop because I keep scrolling through online shopping malls until I found exact design that I want.

✓ It's quite difficult for me to make a choice when I shop because I keep scrolling through online shopping malls until I find the exact design that I want.

Missing article 'a' before 'choice'; tense inconsistency: 'keep scrolling' requires present tense 'find' (not past 'found'); missing definite article 'the' before 'exact design'. Suggestion: maintain present tense after 'keep' and include necessary articles.

× For me shopping is quite time consuming task.

✓ For me, shopping is quite a time-consuming task.

Missing comma after introductory phrase, missing article 'a' and hyphenation for the compound adjective 'time-consuming'. Suggestion: write 'a time-consuming task' and add comma after 'For me'.

× Second, expensive products are better than cheaper ones since companies that sell expensive products also offer customer services and warranty, so people can rely on their services.

✓ Generally, expensive products are not always better than cheaper ones, but they can be better because companies that sell expensive products often offer customer service and warranties, so people can rely on their after-sales support.

The original begins with 'Second' oddly and makes an absolute claim; restructuring improves clarity. 'Customer services' should be 'customer service' and 'warranty' should be plural 'warranties' or 'a warranty'; 'after-sales support' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: avoid absolute statements, use plural/singular correctly for service and warranty, and organize sentence with contrast connectors like 'but' or 'however'.