Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and clarity: use correct verb forms and articles, and make the response more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief example using linking words (e.g., 'however', 'because'). Aim for 2–3 sentences and correct phrasing like 'I'm not a big fan of...' or 'I prefer shopping online because...'.

例: I’m not a big fan of shopping in physical stores; I prefer buying clothes on my phone because it’s more convenient. However, sizing can be unreliable online, so sometimes I go to a shop to try items on before I buy them.

提案: Make the answer more concise and fix grammar and cohesion. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one reason with a specific detail and use linking words like 'because' and 'so' to connect ideas. Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences.

例: Yes, I often compare prices because I’m a student with a limited income. By checking different shops online, I can find cheaper options and save a significant amount of money.

提案: Clarify and expand slightly with better grammar and a linking word. Start with a direct topic sentence (Yes or No), then give a specific reason and an example. Use correct tense and articles (e.g., 'I find them'). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I find it difficult to choose sometimes, so I rarely buy clothes outside my comfort zone. For example, I avoid tight or very unusual styles because I worry they will be uncomfortable and I won’t wear them.

提案: Improve coherence and precision: give a clear opinion and support it with a concise reason and an example. Correct grammar (e.g., 'in which' not 'in what') and avoid vague endings. Use linking words like 'however' or 'sometimes'.

例: I don’t think expensive products are always better. Often pricier items have better quality, but sometimes cheaper clothes are just as good; for instance, I once bought an affordable T‑shirt that lasted longer than an expensive one.

× 'I not a big fan of offline shopping, I prefer sitting at home and doing the shopping on my phone.'

✓ 'I am not a big fan of offline shopping; I prefer sitting at home and doing my shopping on my phone.'

'I not a big fan' lacks the verb 'am' for subject-verb agreement (subject 'I' needs auxiliary verb 'am'). Also 'doing the shopping' is awkward; use 'doing my shopping'. Use a semicolon or period to separate independent clauses. Suggestion: include the correct form of be (am) and use 'my shopping' for natural phrasing.'

× 'Though it can be really difficult with sizing so going to the shop yourself and things the clothes can be more reliable at times.'

✓ 'Though sizing can be really difficult, going to the shop yourself and trying the clothes can be more reliable at times.'

'Though...' clause was combined incorrectly with 'so' and word order is wrong ('things the clothes'). This is a sentence structure error. Remove the conjunction 'so', place adjective 'difficult' after 'sizing', and change 'things the clothes' to 'trying the clothes'. Suggestion: write clear subordinate clause then main clause: "Though sizing can be difficult, trying clothes in a shop can be more reliable."'

× 'At times it's reasonable and essential because I'm a student so I don't have a big income and I try to save up money and by comparing I can see in which shops in the product is less expensive so I will save more money.'

✓ 'At times it's reasonable and essential because I'm a student, so I don't have a large income and I try to save money; by comparing prices I can see in which shops a product is less expensive, so I will save more.'

'I don't have a big income' is grammatical but 'big income' is awkward — use 'large income'. The original has run-on issues and incorrect phrasing 'in which shops in the product is less expensive'. This is primarily a present-tense usage and sentence structure problem. Break into clauses, use 'comparing prices' or 'by comparing prices', and 'a product is less expensive' not 'in the product'. Suggestion: simplify and split sentences and use 'prices' and 'a product' for clarity.'

× 'It is so I rarely buy clothes that are out of my comfort zone because I found them uncomfortable and risky to wear.'

✓ 'It is, so I rarely buy clothes that are out of my comfort zone because I find them uncomfortable and risky to wear.'

'I found' uses past tense while the speaker refers to a general present habit; use present tense 'I find'. Also 'It is so' is unnatural; include a comma or rephrase to 'So, I rarely...' Suggestion: keep tense consistent when describing habitual preferences.'

× 'Most of the time expensive products are worth it, and there are some situations in what the cheaper clothes are actually the same or even better, but it's pretty.'

✓ 'Most of the time expensive products are worth it, and in some situations cheaper clothes are actually the same or even better.'

'in what the cheaper clothes' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'in some situations cheaper clothes'. The ending 'but it's pretty' is incomplete and unclear — sentence structure error. Remove the fragment. Suggestion: finish the thought clearly and avoid dangling phrases; use 'in some situations' and remove the unclear 'but it's pretty'.'