Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and vocabulary: use correct collocations (e.g., "a sense of fulfilment"), avoid awkward phrases ("a few lack of reward"), and be concise. Keep answer within 3–4 sentences: give a direct topic sentence, then one specific supporting detail with linking word. Correct verb forms and plural/singular ("a pair of shoes", "comfortable and versatile, so I can wear them to school and for exercise").

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping because it gives me a sense of fulfilment after a busy week. For example, last weekend I bought a new pair of shoes that are comfortable and versatile, so I can wear them to school and when I exercise.

提案: Make the response more natural and structured: state main idea, then give a clear reason with a concrete example. Use correct noun forms and articles ("online sites" not "commercial sites"), and linking words like "because" and "for example". Avoid redundancy ("save money" and "lower my budgets" say the same).

例: Yes, I always compare prices because online stores often have discounts that make items cheaper than in traditional shops. For example, I recently compared two phones and bought the cheaper online option, which saved me about $50.

提案: Correct grammar and coherence: begin with a clear topic sentence ("Yes, I find it difficult to decide"). Use appropriate pronouns and verb forms ("I'm the kind of person who finds it hard"). Use linking words ("so", "therefore") and give a brief specific example of what you do when you struggle (ask friends or walk away). Keep within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I find it difficult to decide which shoes to buy, because I worry about choosing the wrong style. Therefore I often ask friends for advice, and if I shop alone I sometimes hesitate for hours and leave without buying anything.

提案: Organise answer: give a clear opinion, then support with reasons and an example. Improve grammar ("expensive products", "their brand's reputation"). Use concise connectors: "However" and "for example". Avoid fillers and repetition. Mention trade-offs (quality vs price) briefly.

例: No, I don't think expensive products are always better. Often a high price reflects brand reputation rather than quality; however, some cheaper alternatives can offer good performance, so I usually compare reviews before deciding to save money.

× Yes, I enjoy shopping because it gives me a signs of fulfillment and a few lack of reward for my daily hard work.

✓ Yes, I enjoy shopping because it gives me a sense of fulfillment and a small feeling of reward for my daily hard work.

The original uses incorrect quantifiers and nouns: 'a signs' mixes singular article with plural noun and 'a few lack of reward' is ungrammatical. Replace 'a signs' with 'a sense' to express an abstract feeling. Use 'a small feeling of reward' (or 'some reward') to convey limited reward. This fixes number agreement and appropriate quantifier use.

× Last weekend I bought a period of the shoes.

✓ Last weekend I bought a pair of shoes.

'A period of the shoes' is an incorrect phrase. The correct collocation for two matching items is 'a pair of shoes.' This fixes the sentence structure and vocabulary choice to convey the intended meaning.

× I was so comfortable and versatile that I can work to the schools and also to exercise.

✓ They were so comfortable and versatile that I could wear them to school and also for exercise.

Multiple issues: pronoun reference and verb forms. 'I was so comfortable' incorrectly assigns comfort to the speaker; the shoes are comfortable, so use 'They were so comfortable.' 'Can' should be past 'could' to match 'Last weekend' past context, and 'work to the schools' is wrong preposition and noun—use 'wear them to school.' Use 'for exercise' instead of 'to exercise.' This fixes subject reference, tense consistency, and verb verb+preposition usage.

× Yes, I always compare prices because many commercial sites offer a discount which makes much cheaper than the traditional retailers so often compared with these two and also which can help me to save money and lower my budgets.

✓ Yes, I always compare prices because many commercial sites offer discounts that make items much cheaper than traditional retailers; I often compare the two because this helps me save money and reduce my budget.

Problems: 'offer a discount which makes much cheaper' lacks object and relative clause is awkward. 'Much cheaper than the traditional retailers' should compare prices of items, not retailers. 'Lower my budgets' is incorrect—use 'reduce my budget' or 'lower my expenses.' Rephrase to 'offer discounts that make items much cheaper than traditional retailers' and split sentence for clarity. Also pluralize 'discounts' to match general meaning.

× Yes, I'm kind of person who find it hard to decide which shoes to buy.

✓ Yes, I'm the kind of person who finds it hard to decide which shoes to buy.

Missing article 'the' in 'the kind of person' and subject-verb agreement: 'who find' should be 'who finds' because 'who' refers to 'person' (singular). Fixing the article and verb agreement corrects the sentence.

× So if you consult my friends or families for advice, if I just buy the shoes by my own, they'll probably hesitate for an hours and sometimes end up buying nothing.

✓ So if I consult my friends or family for advice, or if I buy shoes on my own, I'll probably hesitate for an hour or two and sometimes end up buying nothing.

Multiple pronoun and noun errors: 'you consult my friends or families' should be 'I consult my friends or family' to match subject. 'Families' is wrong; use 'family' as a collective. 'By my own' should be 'on my own.' 'They'll probably hesitate for an hours' has wrong subject and article/number: 'I'll probably hesitate for an hour or two.' Also 'they' conflicts with 'I.' Adjust pronouns and time expression for clarity and correct agreement.

× It's not true, the expensive product just relies on their brand's popular reputations, so the price will rise extremely high.

✓ It's not true; expensive products often rely on their brands' reputations, so their prices can become extremely high.

Agreement and pronoun errors: 'the expensive product' (singular) conflicts with 'their brand's...' Use plural 'expensive products' to match 'their.' 'Brand's popular reputations' is awkward; use 'brands' reputations.' 'Price will rise extremely high' is unnatural—use 'prices can become extremely high.' This fixes number agreement and noun forms.

× However, the cheaper pro uh, cheapest alternatives may offer the good qualities, so that if we purchase the cheaper ones, it can, uh, controls our budget and also save a bunch of the money.

✓ However, cheaper or low-cost alternatives may offer good quality, so if we purchase cheaper ones, they can control our budget and also save a lot of money.

Errors: 'the cheaper pro uh, cheapest alternatives' is disfluent and inconsistent—use 'cheaper or low-cost alternatives.' 'Offer the good qualities' should be 'offer good quality.' 'It can, uh, controls' mixes modal and verb forms; use 'they can help control' or 'they can control' with plural subject 'alternatives' so verb should be 'control.' 'Save a bunch of the money' is informal and includes unnecessary article; use 'save a lot of money.' This corrects adjective/adverb usage, agreement, and removes filler words.