Shopping— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetitive phrases like 'I like' and incorrect word order (e.g., 'to often shopping'). Use simple linking words if adding details.

例: Yes, I enjoy shopping, especially in the summer. For example, I usually buy light clothes and sandals because I prefer comfortable outfits for hot weather.

提案: Correct vocabulary and phrasing: use 'shop' not 'show', and say 'get good value for money' instead of 'guess good value of money'. Give a specific method and result using linking words like 'for example' and 'so'.

例: Yes, I compare prices because I want to get good value for money. For example, I check both online and in-store prices and read reviews, so I can choose the best deal without overpaying.

提案: Make the answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly explain with clear phrasing and a linking word like 'because'. Replace 'my mind is direct' with 'I know exactly' or 'I’m clear about'.

例: No, I don’t find it difficult to choose when I shop because I usually know exactly what I need. For instance, I make a list beforehand, so I focus only on items that suit me.

提案: Avoid absolute statements and improve coherence. Start with a clear position, then give a balanced reason using linking words like 'however' or 'although'. Provide a specific example to support your opinion and correct grammar (e.g., 'comfortable' → 'more comfortable').

例: I don’t think expensive products are always better, although they can be higher quality. For example, an expensive chair may be more comfortable and durable, but some cheaper brands also offer good value if you check reviews and materials.

× Yes, I like to often shopping in season of summers.

✓ Yes, I often like shopping in the summer season.

The original sentence incorrectly combines the infinitive 'to' with the -ing form 'shopping' and places the adverb 'often' between them. Use either 'like to' + base verb (I like to shop) or 'like' + gerund (I like shopping). Also 'in season of summers' is ungrammatical; use 'in the summer' or 'in the summer season.' Suggestion: Use 'I often like shopping in the summer' or 'I often shop in the summer.'

× I like to love shopping, usually I buy my clothes etcetera.

✓ I love shopping; usually I buy my clothes, etc.

'I like to love shopping' is redundant and uses incorrect verb combination. Use either 'I like shopping' or 'I love shopping.' Also punctuation and conjunctions are needed between clauses. Replace 'etcetera' with 'etc.' if necessary. Suggestion: Say 'I love shopping. Usually I buy my clothes, etc.'

× Yes, I usually compare prices when I show because I want to guess good value of money and I would pay more than necessary.

✓ Yes, I usually compare prices when I shop because I want to estimate good value for money and avoid paying more than necessary.

'Show' is a wrong word form; the intended verb is 'shop.' 'Guess good value of money' is unnatural; use 'estimate value for money.' 'I would pay' is incorrect here; use 'avoid paying' to express prevention. Suggestion: Use 'compare prices when I shop' and 'estimate value for money.'

× For example, before buying electronics I usually check online, offline views of the and find the best deal, etcetera.

✓ For example, before buying electronics I usually check online and offline reviews and find the best deal.

'Offline views of the' is incorrect and awkward. Use 'online and offline reviews.' 'Etcetera' is unnecessary. Suggestion: Use 'check online and offline reviews' or 'check reviews online and in stores.'

× No, it is not difficult to make choice when I shop because my mind is direct what I want to shop and what is suitable for me.

✓ No, it is not difficult to make choices when I shop because my mind is clear about what I want to buy and what is suitable for me.

Missing plural 'choices.' 'My mind is direct' is incorrect; use 'my mind is clear.' 'What I want to shop' should be 'what I want to buy.' Suggestion: Use 'make choices' and 'my mind is clear about what I want to buy.'

× Yes, as my understanding, expensive products are always better than cheaper one, because the quality matters and comfortable also matters.

✓ Yes, in my opinion, expensive products are always better than cheaper ones because quality and comfort matter.

'As my understanding' is awkward; use 'in my opinion' or 'as I understand.' 'Cheaper one' should be plural 'cheaper ones.' 'Comfortable also matters' should be 'comfort matters.' Suggestion: Use 'in my opinion' and keep nouns parallel: 'quality and comfort matter.'

× If The thing is cheaper and it is not comfortable, it is not only useful but The thing is expensive but it is comfortable.

✓ If a product is cheap and not comfortable, it is not useful; if it is expensive but comfortable, it is more useful to us.

Sentence is run-on and contains capitalization errors ('The'). 'The thing' is repetitive and awkward. Use clearer conditional structure and parallel clauses. Suggestion: Use 'If a product is cheap and uncomfortable, it is not useful. If it is expensive but comfortable, it is more useful.'

× It is very useful for us.

✓ It is very useful for us.

This sentence is grammatically correct but could be more specific by specifying what 'it' refers to (e.g., 'Such a product is very useful for us'). Suggestion: Replace 'It' with the noun if context requires clarity.