Traffic— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one specific reason or example. Use linking words for coherence and correct small grammar issues (e.g., use "there aren’t" instead of "there are not so many" and "people can walk safely" instead of "walk freely"). Limit your response to up to five sentences.

例: No, there aren’t many crosswalks where I live because I live in a small village. However, I believe crosswalks are important because they help people cross the road safely. For example, in the nearby town, crosswalks near the market reduce jaywalking and accidents.

提案: Give a clear, structured answer: state one or two specific changes you would like, explain why, and give a brief example or expected result. Fix grammar and word choice (use "traffic lights" plural, "road" instead of "Rd."). Use linking phrases like "firstly" or "for example." Keep it within five sentences.

例: Yes. Firstly, I would like traffic lights at busy intersections to reduce accidents and confusion. Secondly, I would improve the road surfaces and add signage for safer driving. For example, installing lights at the village entrance would make it easier for pedestrians and drivers to navigate during peak hours.

× I belong to a village so there are not so many crosswalks around me.

✓ I belong to a village, so there are not many crosswalks near me.

Using 'around me' for location is not the best collocation; 'near me' or 'in my village' is more natural. Also remove 'so' comma for clarity and 'not so many' is informal; use 'not many'. Suggestion: say 'in my village' or 'near me' depending on focus.

× But yes, I think crosswalks are very good because people would walk freely.

✓ But yes, I think crosswalks are very good because people can walk safely.

'Would' is incorrect here; use modal verb 'can' to express ability or possibility in general statements. Also 'walk freely' is ambiguous; 'walk safely' matches the context. Suggestion: use 'can' for general ability and choose appropriate adverb such as 'safely'.

× As I told you earlier that I belong to a village so there are not many facilities regarding traffic but in future I would want that there should be manifestations regarding it As for example there should be a traffic lights and there should be proper Rd. facilities for better movement.

✓ As I told you earlier, I belong to a village, so there are not many traffic facilities. In the future, I would like there to be measures for traffic safety. For example, there should be traffic lights and proper road facilities for better movement.

The original sentence is a run-on with incorrect connectors and awkward phrasing. 'Would want that there should be manifestations regarding it' is ungrammatical: use 'would like there to be' or 'I would like measures for'. 'A traffic lights' has article-number disagreement; use 'traffic lights' (plural) or 'a traffic light' (singular). 'Rd.' is an abbreviation; use 'road'. Suggestions: split into shorter sentences, use 'would like' + 'there to be' for wishes, match singular/plural with nouns, and use precise nouns 'measures' or 'traffic safety improvements'.

× As for example there should be a traffic lights and there should be proper Rd. facilities for better movement.

✓ For example, there should be traffic lights and proper road facilities for better movement.

The phrase 'a traffic lights' mixes singular article 'a' with plural noun 'lights'. Remove the article or use singular 'a traffic light'. Also expand 'Rd.' to 'road'. Suggestion: ensure the article matches noun number and avoid abbreviations in formal speech.