Party— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and includes a question back to the examiner, which is unnecessary. Try to respond directly and clearly with a topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words to improve coherence. Avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy parties, especially when I was younger because I could spend time with my friends. However, now that I am a mother, I prefer smaller gatherings like birthday parties, which are more relaxed than before.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains filler words like 'umm' and vague phrases such as 'there's a lot.' Try to give a clear topic sentence, use linking words to connect ideas, and provide specific details about the frequency and types of parties you attended. Avoid unnecessary fillers and ensure your answer is concise and relevant.

例: As a child, I attended parties mainly during Christmas and New Year's celebrations, in addition to birthday parties. These events happened annually, and I always looked forward to them because they were fun and festive.

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be improved by using more precise vocabulary and linking words to enhance coherence. Also, clarify the example by explaining what a 'life group member' is and how you organize the surprise party. Keep your answer concise and directly related to the question.

例: Yes, I have organized many parties in the past, particularly surprise birthday parties for my friends. For example, in my community group, we planned a surprise celebration for one member, which involved coordinating decorations and inviting guests.

× I liked to attend to many parties, especially if I get to enjoy it with my friends.

✓ I liked attending many parties, especially if I got to enjoy them with my friends.

The verb 'like' when followed by another verb should be followed by the gerund form '-ing' (attending) rather than the infinitive 'to attend'. Also, 'attend' does not require the preposition 'to'. Additionally, the tense should be consistent: 'get' should be in past tense 'got' to match 'liked'. 'It' should be 'them' to refer to 'parties' (plural).

× I liked to attend to many parties, especially if I get to enjoy it with my friends.

✓ I liked attending many parties, especially if I got to enjoy them with my friends.

The verb 'attend' is not followed by the preposition 'to'. The correct form is 'attend many parties'.

× especially if I get to enjoy it with my friends.

✓ especially if I got to enjoy them with my friends.

The sentence is referring to past events, so the verb 'get' should be in past tense 'got' to maintain tense consistency. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to agree with the plural noun 'parties'.

× especially if I get to enjoy it with my friends.

✓ especially if I got to enjoy them with my friends.

'It' is singular, but 'parties' is plural, so the pronoun should be 'them' to agree in number.

× And I like parties because there's a lot.

✓ And I like parties because there are a lot.

'There is' (there's) is singular and should be used with singular nouns. Since 'a lot' refers to plural 'parties', the correct form is 'there are a lot'.

× I have been organizing a party a lot in the past, especially a birthday party of a friend.

✓ I organized parties a lot in the past, especially birthday parties for friends.

The present perfect continuous 'have been organizing' is not appropriate when referring to a completed past period ('in the past'). Simple past 'organized' is correct. Also, 'a party a lot' is awkward; plural 'parties' fits better. 'Birthday party of a friend' should be 'birthday parties for friends' for natural phrasing.

× I have a life group member where we will give a surprise to a member and celebrate her party with us.

✓ I have a life group member for whom we give a surprise and celebrate her party with us.

The preposition 'where' is incorrect when referring to a person; 'for whom' is appropriate. Also, 'celebrate her party with us' is awkward; better phrasing might be 'celebrate her party together' or 'celebrate her birthday with us'.