Party— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Versuchen Sie, Füllwörter wie "uh" zu vermeiden und Ihre Antwort klarer und flüssiger zu gestalten. Verwenden Sie außerdem spezifischere Beispiele und verbinden Sie Ihre Ideen logisch, um die Natürlichkeit und Effektivität zu verbessern.

例: Yes, I really enjoy parties, especially birthday and wedding celebrations. I like them because they allow me to spend quality time with my close relatives and friends, which makes these occasions very special for me.

提案: Vermeiden Sie Wiederholungen und unklare Ausdrücke. Strukturieren Sie Ihre Antwort klar mit einem Hauptsatz und unterstützenden Details, und verwenden Sie verbindende Wörter, um den Fluss zu verbessern.

例: When I was a child, I had private parties more often than I do now. This might be because children tend to celebrate their birthdays frequently with many friends, making those times very memorable.

提案: Verbessern Sie die Satzstruktur und vermeiden Sie Wiederholungen. Fügen Sie klare und zusammenhängende Details hinzu, um Ihre Antwort natürlicher und informativer zu machen.

例: Yes, I have organized my own birthday party. I invited my friends and relatives, and it was a wonderful day filled with excitement because my friends brought me thoughtful presents, which made the celebration very special.

× I very like it.

✓ I like it very much.

The phrase 'I very like it' is incorrect because 'very' cannot directly modify the verb 'like'. Instead, 'very much' should be used to intensify the verb. The correct form is 'I like it very much.'

× How often did you have a party when you were a kid?

✓ How often did you have parties when you were a kid?

The question uses 'a party' in singular, but generally, children have multiple parties over time. Using the plural 'parties' is more natural here. This is a singular and plural issue (ID 1), but since the question is from the examiner, no correction is needed here for the student's answer.

× So when I was a child, I used to have more private parties rather than now.

✓ So when I was a child, I used to have more private parties than now.

The phrase 'rather than now' is incorrect in this context. The correct comparative phrase is 'more ... than ...'. 'Rather than' is used to express preference, not comparison of quantity or frequency. Therefore, 'more private parties than now' is correct.

× Of course in childhood when when children have more friends, everyone is maybe graduating his birthday or his.

✓ Of course, in childhood, when children have more friends, everyone maybe celebrates their birthday.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. 'Graduating his birthday or his' is incorrect and confusing. The correct verb is 'celebrates' and the pronoun should be gender-neutral 'their' to refer to everyone. Also, commas are needed for clarity.

× I invited there my friends, my relatives and it was very beautiful and atmospheric day because I was excited by my friends because they brought to me some presents and of course relatives weren't.

✓ I invited my friends and relatives, and it was a very beautiful and atmospheric day because I was excited by my friends who brought me some presents; of course, my relatives weren't.

The phrase 'invited there my friends' is incorrect; the preposition 'there' is unnecessary and misplaced. Also, 'brought to me some presents' should be 'brought me some presents'. The sentence is long and needs punctuation for clarity. The phrase 'relatives weren't' is incomplete and unclear; it likely means 'relatives weren't [excited]' or 'relatives weren't there', but without context, it is left as is with a semicolon to separate ideas.