Party— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and has grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clear and concise, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then explain why you like parties with specific reasons.

例: Yes, I like parties because they give me a chance to spend quality time with my friends. Since we are often busy with our daily routines, parties allow us to relax and have private conversations.

提案: Your answer is confusing and contains grammatical mistakes. Please answer directly and clearly. Use correct verb tenses and avoid unclear phrases like 'I always drink my study'. Also, specify the frequency clearly and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: When I was a kid, I usually attended birthday parties two or three times a week. However, my parents were strict about my studies, so I couldn't go to many parties.

提案: Your answer needs better grammar and more details. Use past tense correctly and explain why the party was impressive. Also, clarify what you mean by 'It is a gifted from my parents and all my friends'.

例: Yes, I organized my 16th birthday party last year. It was very memorable because my parents and friends gave me wonderful gifts, and we all enjoyed the celebration together.

× Yes, I like parties because we can spend time with our friends and even our daily lives we have no time to spend and to talk with their friends and we can talk secretly an.

✓ Yes, I like parties because we can spend time with our friends. In our daily lives, we have no time to spend and talk with our friends, so parties allow us to talk secretly.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence with unclear structure and pronoun confusion. Breaking it into two sentences improves clarity. 'Their friends' is incorrect; it should be 'our friends' to match the subject. Also, 'talk secretly an' is grammatically incorrect and unclear; rephrased to 'talk secretly' for clarity.

× I usually go to the birthday parties because my parents are very strict from studies.

✓ I usually went to birthday parties because my parents were very strict about studies.

The question asks about past habits ('when you were a kid'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Go' changes to 'went' and 'are' to 'were'. Also, 'strict from studies' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'strict about studies'.

× I usually go to the birthday parties because my parents are very strict from studies.

✓ I usually went to birthday parties because my parents were very strict about studies.

The preposition 'from' is incorrect here; the correct preposition to express strictness related to a subject is 'about'. Hence, 'strict from studies' should be 'strict about studies'.

× I always drink my study and I usually go at 2-3 times in a week.

✓ I always focus on my studies, and I usually go to parties 2-3 times a week.

'I always drink my study' is incorrect and unclear; likely intended to express dedication to studying. 'Drink' is incorrect verb here. Also, 'go at 2-3 times in a week' is incorrect; correct phrasing is 'go to parties 2-3 times a week'. Sentence restructured for clarity and correctness.

× Yes, I remember I organize my 16th birthday party.

✓ Yes, I remember I organized my 16th birthday party.

The action happened in the past, so the verb should be in past tense 'organized' instead of present tense 'organize'.

× It is a gifted from my parents and all my friends.

✓ It was a gift from my parents and all my friends.

Since the event happened in the past, 'is' should be 'was'. Also, 'gifted' is a verb or adjective; the noun 'gift' is correct here. Hence, 'a gifted' should be 'a gift'.