History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and confident. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, umm), and give one or two specific details about what you studied (period, event, or region). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I studied history at school. Mostly we covered local history and also global events like World War II that related to our national history.

提案: Use present simple for habitual actions and remove hedging language. Give a clear list with linking words (for example, and, also) and one specific example of a documentary or book. Avoid filler words and grammar mistakes (e.g., 'historical books' not 'a historical books').

例: I usually read history books and watch documentaries. For example, I watched a documentary about the national independence movement that explained key events and figures.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence and then give two specific benefits with linking words (for example, secondly). Avoid fillers and fix grammar (e.g., 'other people's mistakes', 'make better decisions', 'prevent').

例: One major benefit is learning from other people's mistakes, which helps us make better decisions. Also, history gives context for current events, so we can avoid repeating past errors.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar: use 'makes' and 'ancestral' or 'ancestors'. Provide a specific reason and an example. Keep to 1–2 sentences and avoid vague phrases like 'so many things'.

例: Absolutely. Learning history makes us understand our ancestors and cultural roots, and it teaches lessons about leadership and social change — for instance, how past social movements shaped rights today.

× if I want to learn history, I probably search through a historical books and documentaries or even, umm, watch a historical movies

✓ If I want to learn history, I probably search through historical books and documentaries or even watch historical movies

Use plural consistency: 'books' and 'movies' are plural nouns and should not be preceded by the article 'a'. Remove 'a' before plural nouns and use 'historical' without 'a'. Also remove the extra commas and filler words for clarity.

× The first advantage of learning history that comes to mind is learning from, uh, others people mistakes and, uh, being able to make better decision

✓ The first advantage of learning history that comes to mind is learning from other people's mistakes and being able to make better decisions

Subject is singular but the verbs 'is' are correct; errors are possession and plural nouns. Use the possessive form 'other people's' and plural 'decisions' because 'being able to make better decisions' refers generally to multiple decisions.

× watch a historical movies, uh, which are about, uh, my own country and it's relevant to uh, the epic

✓ watch historical movies that are about my own country and are relevant to its history

'It's' is a contraction of 'it is' or 'it has', incorrect for possessive. Use 'its' for possession. Also match plural 'movies' with plural verb 'are' and use 'that' for defining relative clauses. Replacing 'the epic' with 'its history' clarifies meaning.

× I have studied history, uh, through my history books at a school which was mostly about our, uh, local history and, umm, the global history which was uh, kind of connected to, umm, our National History, umm

✓ I studied history at school, mainly from history books about our local history and global history that were connected to our national history

Use 'at school' rather than 'at a school' when speaking generally. 'Through my history books at a school' is awkward; simplify to 'from history books'. Also adjust capitalization: 'national history' should not be capitalized. Use past simple 'studied' if referring to completed education.

× learning history not only make us interested about our Asians ancestors but also can teach us so many things about life and others

✓ learning history not only makes us interested in our Asian ancestors but also can teach us many things about life and other people

'Not only' requires subject-verb agreement: use 'makes' (third person singular). Use 'interested in' rather than 'interested about'. 'Asians' should be the adjective 'Asian'. 'So many things' can be simplified to 'many things'. 'Others' is vague; use 'other people'.