History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang natural dan ada kesalahan kata seperti 'iPhone' yang tidak relevan. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan langsung menjawab pertanyaan dengan struktur yang baik.

例: Yes, I studied history extensively in high school, and I found it very interesting because it helped me understand the background of my country.

提案: Jawaban Anda terlalu panjang dan berulang. Gunakan kalimat yang lebih singkat dan gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

例: I learn history by studying important events like World War One and Two, as well as the histories of other countries, which I find very interesting.

提案: Jawaban Anda sudah cukup baik tapi ada kesalahan tata bahasa dan pengulangan. Perbaiki struktur kalimat dan gunakan kosakata yang tepat.

例: Learning history helps us understand the efforts of our founding fathers and also teaches us about different cultures around the world.

提案: Jawaban Anda mengandung pengulangan dan kesalahan tata bahasa. Cobalah untuk membuat kalimat yang lebih jelas dan terstruktur dengan baik.

例: Yes, learning history is important because it shows us how national heroes worked hard to build and develop our country, and it also helps us learn about different cultures.

× Certainly when I was in high school, I did a lot of history subjects actually, and iPhone is quite interesting for me because by the history subject I can learn about the history of this nation.

✓ Certainly when I was in high school, I did a lot of history subjects actually, and history is quite interesting for me because through the history subjects I can learn about the history of this nation.

The word 'iPhone' is incorrectly used instead of 'history'. This is a pronoun/reference error where the wrong noun is used, causing confusion. The correct noun 'history' should be used to match the context.

× I learned to understand how this nation was built, also learn history about the World War One and also World War 2 and also history about other nations and countries around the globe and I found it very interesting for me.

✓ I learned to understand how this nation was built, also learned history about World War One and World War Two and also history about other nations and countries around the globe, and I found it very interesting.

The verb 'learn' should be in past tense 'learned' to maintain tense consistency with 'learned' and 'found' in the sentence. Also, 'World War 2' should be 'World War Two' for formality and consistency.

× By learning history we are able to understand how the founder, the founding father of this nation put some effort to build this nation and also we are learn about cultural things around the planet also.

✓ By learning history we are able to understand how the founder, the founding father of this nation, put some effort into building this nation and also we learn about cultural things around the planet.

The phrase 'we are learn' is incorrect; it should be 'we learn' to be grammatically correct. Also, 'put some effort to build' should be 'put some effort into building' to use the correct preposition and verb form.

× It is very important actually because by learning history, we can understand how the national heroes was put some effort to make this nation, uh, build and also develop and also we about to know the cultural things around.

✓ It is very important actually because by learning history, we can understand how the national heroes put some effort to make this nation, build and also develop it, and also we get to know the cultural things around.

The verb 'was' should be 'put' to agree with the plural subject 'national heroes'. Also, 'we about to know' is incorrect; it should be 'we get to know' to express the intended meaning properly.