History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally relevant and informative, but it ends abruptly and lacks completeness. Try to avoid incomplete sentences and ensure your answer is concise and fully developed within 5 sentences. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I have studied history before. One topic I found fascinating was the Vikings because they were Norse explorers who traveled extensively. For example, they discovered places like Iceland and Greenland, which significantly influenced European history. Additionally, they were known for their tall stature and seafaring skills, which helped them in their explorations.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains grammatical errors and some redundancy. Try to use correct grammar and avoid repeating words. Also, use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

例: I usually learn history from the library by searching for books on topics that interest me. If the library doesn't have the books I need, I search for information online and read it carefully. This way, I can learn history effectively and at my own pace.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and contains hesitations and repetitions. Try to organize your ideas clearly and complete your sentences. Use linking words to connect your points logically and provide specific benefits of learning history.

例: Learning history is very beneficial because it helps us understand our ancestors and the evolution of mankind. For example, by studying history, we can learn about past events that shaped our society. Moreover, it allows us to appreciate different cultures and avoid repeating past mistakes.

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some repetition and incomplete sentences. Pay attention to grammar, avoid repeating words, and complete your thoughts. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent and specific.

例: Yes, I believe learning history is very important because it helps us understand our ancestors and their contributions to society. For example, in primary and secondary education, the curriculum includes historical topics that broaden our knowledge and help us appreciate different cultures. This understanding also promotes tolerance and respect among people.

× They were also very tall and.

✓ They were also very tall.

The sentence ends abruptly with 'and' without completing the thought, resulting in an incomplete sentence. To correct this, remove the conjunction 'and' or complete the sentence with additional information.

× I usually learn histories from library.

✓ I usually learn history from the library.

The noun 'history' is uncountable and should not be pluralized as 'histories' in this context. Also, 'library' requires the definite article 'the' because it refers to a specific place.

× I search the books that books that which has the topic that I'm interested in and I usually read it alone.

✓ I search for books that have the topics I'm interested in and usually read them alone.

The original sentence has redundant and incorrect pronouns and relative clauses ('that books that which'). Also, 'books' is plural, so the verb should be 'have' and the pronoun 'them' instead of 'it'.

× But if the library doesn't have those books, I usually search it online and read it.

✓ But if the library doesn't have those books, I usually search for them online and read them.

The verb 'search' requires the preposition 'for' when followed by an object. Also, 'books' is plural, so the pronouns should be 'them' instead of 'it'.

× The benefits of learning history are very useful.

✓ Learning history has many benefits.

The original sentence is awkward because 'benefits' cannot be 'useful'; rather, 'learning history' can have benefits. The correction improves clarity and naturalness.

× Some of them include like you, you know about our ancestors, we can know about the evolutionary history of mankind, for example, and moreover, you can also learn about.

✓ Some of them include knowing about our ancestors, understanding the evolutionary history of mankind, and more.

The original sentence is confusing with incorrect pronoun use and incomplete thoughts. The correction clarifies the benefits and removes redundant or unclear phrases.

× our curriculum is integrated with historical historical topics which broaden broadens our knowledge and helps us to appreciate different cultures.

✓ Our curriculum is integrated with historical topics which broaden our knowledge and help us appreciate different cultures.

The word 'historical' is repeated unnecessarily. Also, the subject 'topics' is plural, so the verbs should be 'broaden' and 'help' (plural form) instead of 'broadens' and 'helps'.