History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp, làm cho câu trả lời không tự nhiên và khó hiểu. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi với một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể và sử dụng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I have studied history in both primary and secondary school. I found it very interesting because it helps me understand my country's past and how peace and order were established.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp, khiến ý không được truyền đạt hiệu quả. Bạn nên sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sắp xếp ý theo trình tự logic và dùng liên từ để kết nối các ý.

例: I learn history both at school and at home. At school, I read textbooks and watch videos recommended by my teachers. At home, I read additional books and materials about special historical events.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn thiếu sự rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp, làm cho ý nghĩa không đầy đủ và khó hiểu. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, sử dụng câu chủ đề và bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể với liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Learning history helps us understand our country's successes and failures. Moreover, it teaches us to appreciate peace and order, which is important for our society.

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn có ý tưởng tốt nhưng cần cải thiện ngữ pháp và cách diễn đạt để tự nhiên hơn. Bạn nên sử dụng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, bổ sung chi tiết cụ thể và dùng liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc.

例: Yes, I think learning history is very important. It helps us understand our past and avoid making the same mistakes. Additionally, studying historical events and figures allows us to appreciate our heritage.

× Yes, in primary and secondary schools I also learned about historical events and historical figures is so interesting because I can learn more about my country in our past and how we can get the peace and order.

✓ Yes, in primary and secondary schools, I also learned about historical events and historical figures. It is so interesting because I can learn more about my country's past and how we can achieve peace and order.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence combining multiple ideas without proper punctuation or conjunctions, causing confusion. Splitting into two sentences improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I learn from schools to home.

✓ I learn from school to home.

The phrase 'from schools to home' is awkward; 'from school to home' is the correct expression to indicate learning both at school and at home.

× In history lesson I read textbooks, watched videos that my teachers recommended, and at home I read more, some books from some even special events.

✓ In history lessons, I read textbooks, watch videos that my teachers recommend, and at home, I read more books, even about special events.

The sentence has tense inconsistency and awkward phrasing. 'History lesson' should be plural 'history lessons'. The verbs should be consistent in present tense. The phrase 'some books from some even special events' is unclear and corrected to 'more books, even about special events' for clarity.

× Learning history is learning about our country's best so we can have some experience from our failures moreover, it helps everyone have an appreciation for peace and order so can learn more about our.

✓ Learning history is learning about our country's past so we can learn from our failures. Moreover, it helps everyone appreciate peace and order so we can learn more about our country.

The sentence is run-on and contains unclear phrases like 'our country's best' and 'so can learn more about our'. Correcting to 'past' and adding missing subjects and verbs improves clarity and grammar.

× Learning about our country's past helps us know more about our feelings so we can avoid repeating mistakes.

✓ Learning about our country's past helps us understand more about our history so we can avoid repeating mistakes.

The phrase 'know more about our feelings' is inappropriate in this context; it should be 'understand more about our history' to match the topic of learning history.

× Moreover, studying about historical events and figures give us appreciation.

✓ Moreover, studying historical events and figures gives us appreciation.

The subject 'studying' is singular and requires the singular verb 'gives' instead of 'give'. Also, 'studying about' is incorrect; 'studying' alone is sufficient.