History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to start your answer directly and clearly without unrelated words like 'Excited'. Also, use correct grammar and avoid redundancy. For example, say 'Yes, I studied history when I was young because it was a mandatory part of our curriculum.'

例: Yes, I studied history when I was young because it was a mandatory part of our curriculum.

提案: Your answer is too long and unclear. Use simpler sentences and linking words to make it coherent. For example, say 'I learned history mainly through textbooks. Additionally, my teachers helped me understand the subject better.'

例: I learned history mainly through textbooks. Additionally, my teachers helped me understand the subject better.

提案: Your answer is confusing and has grammar mistakes. Try to express your ideas clearly and use linking words. For example, say 'Learning history helps us understand the reasons behind past events, which can guide us in making better decisions for the present and future.'

例: Learning history helps us understand the reasons behind past events, which can guide us in making better decisions for the present and future.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs clearer structure and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say 'Yes, I think learning history is important because the past, present, and future are connected. Understanding the past helps us improve the present and prepare for the future.'

例: Yes, I think learning history is important because the past, present, and future are connected. Understanding the past helps us improve the present and prepare for the future.

× Excited.

✓ I am excited.

The original sentence 'Excited.' is a sentence fragment lacking a subject and verb. To form a complete sentence, include the subject 'I' and the verb 'am' to express the state of being excited.

× When I was at young age, it was mandatory for us to study the history.

✓ When I was young, it was mandatory for us to study history.

The phrase 'at young age' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'when I was young'. Also, 'the history' should be 'history' because 'history' is an uncountable noun here and does not need 'the'.

× It was the main part of our curriculum.

✓ It was a main part of our curriculum.

Using 'the' implies a unique main part, but 'a main part' is more appropriate to indicate one of several important parts. Alternatively, if it is the only main part, 'the' is acceptable, but context suggests 'a' is better.

× I have learned history through various purpose for first one by means of the support of the textbook and as I was an avid reader, I used to read several textbooks that supported me to learn history and apart from that my history teachers also helped me to grab the knowledge about history.

✓ I have learned history for various purposes. First, by using textbooks, and as I was an avid reader, I used to read several textbooks that helped me learn history. Apart from that, my history teachers also helped me gain knowledge about history.

The original sentence is a run-on with unclear structure and incorrect phrases like 'various purpose for first one' and 'grab the knowledge'. Breaking it into clear sentences and using correct expressions like 'helped me learn' and 'helped me gain knowledge' improves clarity and grammar.

× The deeper understanding of the history help us to realize the realize and the reason behind the complex incidents happens in our ancient days and that knowledge help us to continue our current life and do something for the future also.

✓ A deeper understanding of history helps us to realize the reasons behind the complex incidents that happened in ancient times, and that knowledge helps us to continue our current life and do something for the future as well.

'Understanding' is singular, so the verb should be 'helps' not 'help'. 'The history' should be 'history' without 'the'. 'Incidents happens' is incorrect; it should be 'incidents that happened' to match plural subject and past tense. Also, 'realize the realize' is a repetition error.

× I think so because I believe that the present, past and future are connect to each other.

✓ I think so because I believe that the present, past, and future are connected to each other.

The verb 'are' requires the past participle 'connected' to form the passive voice. 'Connect' is the base form and incorrect here.

× The better understanding of the past help us to improve our present and that's way the future also.

✓ A better understanding of the past helps us to improve our present and, in that way, the future as well.

'Understanding' is singular, so the verb should be 'helps' not 'help'. Also, 'that's way' is incorrect; it should be 'in that way' to express the intended meaning.

× That's why in that perspective history is the most important thing.

✓ That's why, from that perspective, history is the most important thing.

The phrase 'in that perspective' is incorrect; the correct prepositional phrase is 'from that perspective'. Adding commas improves sentence clarity.

× We have to learn more.

✓ We have to learn more about it.

The sentence is grammatically correct but adding 'about it' clarifies what 'more' refers to, improving coherence with the previous sentence.