History— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your response more natural and concise by directly answering the question, then adding specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity.

例: Yes, I studied history during my secondary education because it was a mandatory subject. Although I initially found it boring, I realized it was important as it taught me about our traditions and cultural heritage.

提案: Your answer lacks coherence and contains grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and keep your sentences clear and concise. Also, directly answer the question and provide specific details about your learning methods.

例: Learning history was challenging for me at first because I found it confusing. However, I asked my teachers many questions to clarify my doubts, which helped me understand the subject better.

提案: Your answer is vague and contains many grammatical errors. Try to be more specific and use relevant vocabulary. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details, using linking words to improve coherence.

例: Learning history helps us understand our culture and traditions, especially those passed down by past rulers. Additionally, it improves our general knowledge, which is useful for competitive exams like the IPS exam.

提案: Your answer shows personal opinion but lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors. Make your response more natural by directly stating your opinion and supporting it with clear reasons, using linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I believe learning history is important. Although I didn't enjoy it during my school years, I now find it fascinating because it helps me understand the environment around me, which is useful for my goal of becoming a successful businesswoman.

× when I was studying in a secondary education at that time I study the subject of history and it's quite mandatory for me

✓ when I was studying in secondary education at that time I studied the subject of history and it was quite mandatory for me

The sentence mixes past continuous ('was studying') with present tense ('study') incorrectly. Since the action happened in the past, 'study' should be changed to past tense 'studied' and 'it's' to 'it was' to maintain tense consistency.

× I have not any type of interest in a history

✓ I did not have any interest in history

The phrase 'have not any type of interest' is awkward and incorrect. The correct form is 'did not have any interest'. Also, 'a history' is incorrect because 'history' is an uncountable noun here and does not need an article.

× it given a lot of information related to traditional that it is mainly done mainly carry on

✓ it gives a lot of information related to traditions that are mainly carried on

The verb 'given' is incorrect here; it should be 'gives' to agree with the subject. Also, 'traditional' should be 'traditions' (plural noun), and 'done mainly carry on' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'are mainly carried on' using passive voice with correct verb form.

× I did a lot of efforts to learn about such a subject

✓ I made a lot of effort to learn about such a subject

The phrase 'did a lot of efforts' is incorrect. The correct collocation is 'made a lot of effort' since 'effort' is uncountable in this context.

× At one times I'm just a bit confused and try to get a ride of such a subject

✓ At one time I was just a bit confused and tried to get rid of such a subject

The phrase 'At one times' should be 'At one time'. Also, 'I'm' (present tense) should be 'I was' (past tense) to match the past context. 'Try' should be 'tried' and 'get a ride' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'get rid'.

× Moreover, I try to got a concept clarity from my teachers

✓ Moreover, I tried to get concept clarity from my teachers

The verb 'try' should be in past tense 'tried' to match the past context. 'Got' is incorrect here; the base form 'get' should be used after 'tried to'.

× So many doubts I have, I just try to clear it

✓ I had many doubts, and I just tried to clear them

The sentence mixes present tense ('I have', 'try') with past context. It should be past tense 'I had' and 'tried'. Also, 'doubts' is plural, so 'it' should be 'them'.

× After that I finally I just learn it

✓ After that, I finally just learned it

The verb 'learn' should be in past tense 'learned' to match the past context.

× it given a knowledge about our culture or traditions that is mainly carry on by Queens and Queens in their times out

✓ it gives knowledge about our culture and traditions that are mainly carried on by kings and queens in their times

'given' should be 'gives' for present tense agreement. 'a knowledge' is incorrect; 'knowledge' is uncountable and does not need 'a'. 'is mainly carry on' should be 'are mainly carried on' to agree with plural 'traditions' and correct passive voice. 'Queens and Queens' is repetitive; corrected to 'kings and queens'. 'times out' is unnecessary and removed.

× it also enhance our journal knowledge, which is really useful for umm, crack on the competitive exam

✓ it also enhances our general knowledge, which is really useful for cracking competitive exams

'enhance' should be 'enhances' to agree with singular subject. 'journal knowledge' is incorrect; likely meant 'general knowledge'. 'crack on the competitive exam' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'cracking competitive exams'.

× There are a lot of history that will be checked by

✓ There is a lot of history that will be tested

'history' is uncountable, so 'There are a lot of history' is incorrect; it should be 'There is a lot of history'. 'checked by' is awkward; 'tested' is more appropriate.

× I really felt that learning history is really significant for me

✓ I really feel that learning history is really significant for me

'felt' is past tense, but the sentence expresses a current feeling, so 'feel' (present tense) is appropriate.

× at a time when I was studying a skinny education, it is not my cup of tea

✓ at a time when I was studying secondary education, it was not my cup of tea

'skinny education' is incorrect; likely meant 'secondary education'. 'it is not' should be 'it was not' to match past context.

× But now I try to learn about a more history because it's really captivating to me

✓ But now I try to learn more history because it's really captivating to me

'a more history' is incorrect; 'more history' is correct as 'history' is uncountable.

× for me I it is necessary that I observe every kind of atmosphere that is surrounded by me

✓ for me, it is necessary that I observe every kind of atmosphere that surrounds me

The phrase 'I it is' is incorrect; 'it is' suffices. 'that is surrounded by me' is awkward; 'that surrounds me' is correct active voice.