Stories— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (tense and word choice), and add one specific supporting detail. Avoid unnecessary words and keep to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I loved stories as a child. My parents read me fairy tales and adventure stories every night, and those books sparked my imagination. For example, I used to pretend I was a pirate after hearing sea adventures, which made bedtime very exciting.

提案: This answer has several serious vocabulary and grammar errors and some inappropriate words. Respond directly with a clear preference, correct verb forms, and specific reasons. Use linking words (however, because) and avoid any incorrect or unrelated words.

例: I prefer reading stories myself because I can imagine the characters and scenes more vividly. However, listening can be relaxing and useful for enjoying tone and voice acting. Overall, reading helps me connect more deeply with the story's details.

提案: Produce a clear, grammatical response with specific details about the story and what feedback you received. Correct noun-adjective forms and keep sentences concise. Use linking words like because or which to explain why the experience mattered.

例: Yes, I did. I wrote a short story about a space explorer for a school project, and although it was simple and a bit clumsy, my teacher gave me detailed corrections. That feedback helped me improve my writing and encouraged me to write more stories.

提案: This answer contains many incorrect words and unclear phrases. State the genre clearly, give specific reasons with correct vocabulary, and include a short example of a favorite author or book. Use linking words such as because and for example.

例: I enjoy detective fiction and mystery stories because I like solving puzzles and following clues. For example, I appreciate authors who plant subtle hints throughout the plot so the final reveal feels satisfying.

× Definitely as a try.

✓ Definitely, as a child.

The original phrase is ungrammatical and unclear. 'As a try' is not an English expression. The speaker likely meant 'as a child' or 'as a kid.' Use a clear noun phrase to indicate the time or context. Suggestion: replace with 'as a child' to fit the context.

× I was absolutely hooked on fairy tales and adventure stories.

✓ I was absolutely hooked on fairy tales and adventure stories.

This sentence is past tense and appropriate for describing childhood. No correction needed; included for completeness.

× My parents used to read them to me every night and those stories really spark my imagination and took me into the completely different world.

✓ My parents used to read them to me every night, and those stories really sparked my imagination and took me into a completely different world.

Mixed tenses and wrong article/preposition. 'Used to' and 'took' are past, so 'spark' should be past 'sparked' for tense consistency. 'the completely different world' should be 'a completely different world' because we refer to one of many possible worlds (indefinite article). Also add a comma before 'and' to join clauses.

× I optically prefer reading them myself.

✓ I personally prefer reading them myself.

'Optically' is incorrect in this context. The speaker likely intended an adverb meaning 'in my opinion' or 'personally.' Replace with 'personally.' Tense is present and appropriate. No change to tense.

× While listening to a story is relaxing, reading give me the chance to visualize the characters and the sex thing in my own way.

✓ While listening to a story is relaxing, reading gives me the chance to visualize the characters and the setting in my own way.

Subject-verb agreement: 'reading' (singular gerund) requires 'gives' not 'give.' Also 'the sex thing' is inappropriate and likely a typo; replace with 'the setting' to make sense. 'Characters and the setting' is parallel and meaningful.

× I find that I can connect more deeply with the flood when I reach at my old pay.

✓ I find that I can connect more deeply with the plot when I revisit my old copy.

This sentence has multiple errors and likely many typos. 'Flood' should be 'plot,' 'reach at my old pay' is unclear — probably 'revisit my old copy' or 'return to my old books.' Rewriting preserves intended meaning: connecting with the story's plot when rereading an old copy.

× Yes I did.

✓ Yes, I did.

Add a comma after 'Yes' for correct punctuation. The tense is appropriate (past) for the question 'Did you ever write a story when you were a child?'. The sentence itself is fine grammatically aside from punctuation.

× I remember writing sore story about a space explorer for a school project.

✓ I remember writing a short story about a space explorer for a school project.

Typo and word choice: 'sore story' should be 'short story.' The rest of the sentence is correctly structured in past tense 'remember writing' with appropriate object.

× It was quite cleans, clumsy and simple, but my teacher gave me a lot of and correctment which were a very recording rewarding experience for me at that time.

✓ It was quite clumsy and simple, but my teacher gave me a lot of corrections and feedback, which was a very rewarding experience for me at the time.

Multiple problems: 'cleans' is incorrect (remove); use 'clumsy' and 'simple' as adjectives. 'gave me a lot of and correctment' should be 'gave me a lot of corrections and feedback.' 'which were a very recording rewarding experience' should be 'which was a very rewarding experience' because the relative clause refers to the whole preceding idea (singular), and 'recording' is incorrect. Ensure subject-verb agreement and correct noun choice.

× Nowadays I'm really into detective fiction and my theory stories.

✓ Nowadays I'm really into detective fiction and mystery stories.

'My theory stories' is incorrect—likely intended 'mystery stories.' Replace with the correct noun 'mystery' to match 'detective fiction.' 'I'm really into' is correct.

× I love the thrill of trying to be together.

✓ I love the thrill of trying to put the pieces together.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear. The common expression for solving mysteries is 'put the pieces together.' Replace to convey intended meaning.

× The clues before the ending is always so captivating when the authors mass manages to keep the SUV pants high into the final base.

✓ The clues before the ending are always so captivating when the authors manage to keep the suspense high until the final page.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement 'clues... are' not 'is.' 'Authors mass manages' should be 'authors manage' (remove extraneous words and fix agreement). 'SUV pants' and 'final base' are garbled—intended 'suspense' and 'final page.' Place adverbs/phrases correctly: 'keep the suspense high until the final page.'