Stories— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical errors. Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I loved stories during my childhood and I still enjoy them now. I especially like fantasy and romantic stories because they make me feel happy. Moreover, I am good at imagining fantastic things, which helps me enjoy these stories even more.

提案: Your answer is contradictory and confusing. Make sure your answer matches your preference clearly. Use linking words to explain reasons and avoid redundancy. Keep your sentences grammatically correct and concise.

例: I prefer reading stories rather than listening to them because reading helps me concentrate better. Listening to stories can be hectic for my mind, so reading allows me to enjoy the story at my own pace.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains grammatical mistakes. Try to express your ideas clearly with correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your ideas and provide specific reasons or feelings.

例: Yes, I tried to write stories when I was a child, but I often failed because I lacked consistency. However, I think it was a meaningful experience that helped me realize writing is not my strong talent.

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains unclear expressions. Use precise vocabulary and linking words to explain your preferences clearly. Also, correct grammar and sentence structure will improve your answer.

例: I really enjoy action and fantasy stories because they make me feel excited. Especially, I like Korean webtoons, which are digital comics that I can read on my smartphone. They are fantastic and very entertaining.

× I love the stories in my childhood, but it's the same by now because I really like to lead some fantasy and romantic stories because it makes me feel great.

✓ I loved the stories in my childhood, but it's the same now because I really like to read some fantasy and romantic stories as they make me feel great.

The sentence mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'Love' should be past tense 'loved' to refer to childhood. 'Lead' is incorrect verb; 'read' fits context. 'By now' is awkward; 'now' is better. Also, 'because it makes me feel great' should refer to plural 'stories', so 'they make me feel great' is correct.

× I I really good at I'm really good at imagining some fantastic things. So that is my.

✓ I'm really good at imagining some fantastic things. So that is mine.

The sentence has repeated 'I' and incomplete structure. 'I I really good at' is incorrect; it should be 'I'm really good at'. 'So that is my' is incomplete; 'mine' is the correct possessive pronoun here.

× I prefer reading story to listening to story because listening to story is so hectic on my mind.

✓ I prefer reading stories to listening to stories because listening to stories is so hectic on my mind.

The noun 'story' should be plural 'stories' when talking generally. Using singular 'story' is incorrect here.

× But reading stories makes me more feel great so and I can more concentrate it on itself.

✓ But reading stories makes me feel better and I can concentrate more on it.

The phrase 'makes me more feel great' is awkward; 'makes me feel better' is natural. 'I can more concentrate it on itself' is incorrect; correct is 'I can concentrate more on it'.

× So yeah, I prefer listening to stories.

✓ So yeah, I prefer reading stories.

The student contradicts previous sentence by saying they prefer listening to stories after stating preference for reading. Correction aligns with previous statement.

× Actually, I tried to write the story when I was a child, but I felt failed that because I have no consistence to write them.

✓ Actually, I tried to write stories when I was a child, but I felt I failed because I had no consistency to write them.

'Felt failed that' is incorrect; should be 'felt I failed'. 'Have no consistence' should be past tense 'had no consistency'. 'The story' should be plural 'stories' to match 'them'.

× So I there's some meaningful trying because I I can't know about, I don't have some talent to write them.

✓ So I made some meaningful attempts because I don't know, I don't have the talent to write them.

'There's some meaningful trying' is incorrect; 'made some meaningful attempts' is better. 'I can't know about' is unclear; 'I don't know' is correct. 'Some talent' should be 'the talent'.

× I really like some action and fantasy because it makes me feel some gorgeous.

✓ I really like action and fantasy because they make me feel great.

'Some action and fantasy' is awkward; better to say 'action and fantasy'. 'It makes me feel some gorgeous' is incorrect; 'they make me feel great' is correct.

× Especially I really like some Korea web tune.

✓ Especially, I really like some Korean webtoons.

'Korea web tune' is incorrect; correct term is 'Korean webtoons' (digital comics).

× This is some comic book, but we we can see that on smartphone.

✓ These are comic books, but we can see them on smartphones.

'This is some comic book' should be plural 'These are comic books'. 'We we' is repeated. 'That' should be 'them' to refer to plural 'comic books'. 'Smartphone' should be plural 'smartphones'.

× This is really fantastic and good.

✓ They are really fantastic and good.

'This is' should be 'They are' to match plural 'comic books'. 'Fantastic and good' is acceptable but 'really fantastic' suffices.