Stories— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use more natural phrasing and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of 'very tight fairy tales', use 'classic fairy tales'. Also, connect your ideas smoothly using linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I really loved stories during my childhood because it was a great time for bonding with my parents. They usually read me classic fairy tales and adventure books, which I found fascinating and which sparked my interest in reading.

提案: Avoid sentence fragments and improve sentence flow by combining short sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct tense usage for consistency.

例: I usually prefer reading stories, especially bedtime stories, because they spark my imagination. When I read, I can really visualize the events, which makes the experience more engaging. Additionally, I love flipping through the pages, which I find relaxing.

提案: Focus on clear and complete sentences. Avoid incomplete thoughts and unclear phrasing. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific details.

例: Yes, I loved writing stories when I was younger. I even have a little book full of stories and drawings that are products of my imagination. My parents were very supportive and encouraged me to keep writing.

提案: Use complete sentences and avoid hesitation sounds like 'what?'. Be more specific and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I enjoy different genres of stories, but I particularly love mythical ones, such as Greek mythology. I find every plot and character very interesting because they spark my imagination.

× They usually read me very tight fairy tales and adventure books which I find fascinating.

✓ They usually read me very tight fairy tales and adventure books which I find fascinating.

No correction needed for this sentence as 'read' is correctly used in the past tense here. 'Very tight' seems unusual but is not a grammar error listed in the problem types.

× And it really sparked my interest.

✓ And it really sparked my interest.

The verb 'sparked' is correctly used in the past tense here, matching the context of childhood memories.

× I usually prefer reading stories, specially like bedtime stories because they sparked my imagination.

✓ I usually prefer reading stories, especially bedtime stories because they spark my imagination.

The word 'specially' is incorrect here; 'especially' is the correct adverb to express preference. Also, 'sparked' should be 'spark' to match the present tense context of a general preference.

× When I read I can really visualize the events. Which makes the experience more engaging.

✓ When I read, I can really visualize the events, which makes the experience more engaging.

The second sentence is a fragment starting with 'Which'. It should be connected to the previous sentence with a comma to form a complete sentence.

× I also love flipping through the pages which I find relaxing.

✓ I also love flipping through the pages, which I find relaxing.

A comma is needed before 'which' to correctly separate the clauses.

× I love doing a story when I was younger.

✓ I loved writing stories when I was younger.

The verb tense should be past tense 'loved' to match 'when I was younger'. Also, 'doing a story' is incorrect; 'writing stories' is the correct expression.

× I do have this little book full of stories and. Drawings which? Are the product of my imagination.

✓ I do have this little book full of stories and drawings which are the product of my imagination.

The sentence is fragmented and contains punctuation errors. It should be combined into one sentence without unnecessary periods or question marks.

× And my parents are very supportive about it and they are very.

✓ And my parents are very supportive of it and they are very encouraging.

The correct preposition is 'supportive of' not 'supportive about'. The sentence is incomplete and needs a proper ending.

× There are different kinds of genre I love.

✓ There are different kinds of genres I love.

The plural form 'genres' should be used after 'kinds of' to agree in number.

× About stories. But what? I do love in particular would be mythical ones, like for example the Greek mythology.

✓ About stories, what I do love in particular would be mythical ones, like, for example, Greek mythology.

The original is fragmented and contains unnecessary question marks. It should be combined into a coherent sentence with proper punctuation.

× I think it's so interesting, every plot, every character. Sparks your image.

✓ I think it's so interesting; every plot, every character sparks your imagination.

The sentence fragment should be combined. Also, 'your image' is incorrect; 'your imagination' is the correct phrase.