Plants— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers (e.g., “uh”). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., artificial/fake, real/live plants, small garden).

例: I currently have several artificial plants at home for decoration because they add colour and require no maintenance. In the future, however, I plan to buy real plants and create a small garden so I can enjoy gardening and grow herbs for cooking.

提案: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give specific examples and a coherent linking phrase. Correct grammar (e.g., “my mother loved plants” or “my mother grew plants”) and avoid vague phrases like “different kinds of plants that I don't remember.”

例: I didn't do much gardening as a child because my mother took care of the plants. For example, she grew orchids, bougainvillea and a few vegetable plants, and she enjoyed trying new flowers every season.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of your knowledge level, then add concise specifics and link ideas with words like “however” or “recently.” Replace vague phrases (“I don't remember much”) with a short explanation and one concrete action you have taken to learn more.

例: I know some basic gardening from elementary school, when our teacher taught us how to sow and water seeds. However, I don't remember all the details, so recently I've been reading online guides and watching videos to learn how to start a proper home garden.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating phrases. Use a linking phrase to indicate the source of your information (e.g., “from my experience” or “in my visits”) and be cautious about generalizations—qualify your statement. Use correct collocations (e.g., “for luck and prosperity”).

例: From my visits to China, I noticed many offices display plants, so I believe people sometimes give plants as gifts to wish someone luck and prosperity. However, practices may vary by region and occasion.

× Recently I just bought fake plants at home just for design and to have more colors at home.

✓ Recently I bought fake plants for decoration and to add more color to my home.

Use simple past 'bought' is fine for recent completed action; remove redundant 'just' and 'at home' repetition; use 'for decoration' and 'add more color' which are natural present-tense states. Suggestion: avoid repeating words and choose natural collocations like 'for decoration' and 'add more color'.

× But in the future I want to uh buy natural plants and have garden.

✓ But in the future I want to buy real plants and have a garden.

Use 'real' or 'natural' is fine but 'have garden' needs an article: 'have a garden'. Also remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: include appropriate articles with countable nouns and avoid disfluencies.

× In my house in the province, I didn't grow our plants, but my mother did.

✓ At my family's house in the province, I didn't grow our plants; my mother did.

Tense is acceptable but wording is awkward: 'In my house in the province' -> 'At my family's house in the province' is more natural. Use a semicolon or conjunction to connect clauses. Suggestion: choose natural prepositional phrases and punctuation to improve clarity.

× We have some orchids, bougainvillea and different kinds of plants that I don't remember.

✓ We had some orchids, bougainvillea, and various other plants whose names I don't remember.

Maintain past context ('had') since discussing childhood; 'different kinds of plants that I don't remember' is unclear—use 'various other plants whose names I don't remember'. Suggestion: match tense and use 'whose' for possession.

× My mother loves to plants, different kinds of flowers, even vegetables.

✓ My mother loves plants, different kinds of flowers, and even vegetables.

After 'loves' use the base noun 'plants' or the gerund 'growing plants'. 'loves to plants' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'loves plants' or 'loves growing plants'.

× I learned basic gardening at elementary school.

✓ I learned basic gardening in elementary school.

Preposition 'at' is less natural here; 'in elementary school' is the correct collocation. Suggestion: use 'in' for levels of schooling.

× Our teacher showed us how to plant seeds and water seeds, but I don't remember much of it now.

✓ Our teacher showed us how to plant seeds and water them, but I don't remember much now.

Avoid repeating 'seeds'; use pronoun 'them' to refer back to seeds. 'Much of it' is wordy; 'much now' is concise. Suggestion: use pronouns to avoid repetition.

× Recently I've been looking into how to start a home garden because I enjoy growing plants and want to try it properly.

✓ Recently I've been looking into how to start a home garden because I enjoy growing plants and want to try it properly.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The present perfect continuous 'I've been looking' appropriately indicates recent ongoing activity. No change needed.

× I am not Chinese but I've been to China a few times and I noticed they have different kinds of plants in the office so I think they are like they like to send plants as gifts to someone for lucky and fortune.

✓ I am not Chinese but I've been to China a few times, and I noticed they have many kinds of plants in offices, so I think they like to send plants as gifts to wish someone luck and good fortune.

Multiple issues: use plural 'offices' or 'the office' depending on meaning; 'different kinds' -> 'many kinds'; remove repeated 'they are like they like'; 'send plants as gifts to someone for lucky and fortune' is ungrammatical—use 'to wish someone luck and good fortune'. Suggestion: simplify sentence structure, remove repetition, use correct collocations 'wish someone luck' and 'good fortune'.