Cars— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct grammar errors, and add one clear supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoyed traveling by car as a child because I loved looking at the changing scenery. For example, when my family drove to the countryside, I would watch fields of flowers and tall trees pass by, which made the journey relaxing and interesting.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., 'smooth roads' not 'Smooth Rd.'), and finish your thought. Add one specific reason and an example, avoiding unfinished sentences.

例: I prefer sports cars because they offer quick acceleration and precise handling. For example, when I drive a sports car on winding country roads, I feel more connected to the vehicle and confident controlling its speed and direction.

提案: Make a clear choice, use grammatically correct phrases, and give a concise reason with one supporting detail. Avoid repeating phrases like 'take everything into consideration.'

例: I prefer to be a passenger because I can relax and enjoy the ride without worrying about traffic. For instance, as a passenger I can read or chat with friends while the driver focuses on driving safely.

提案: Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and redundant words. State your routine clearly with linking words and specific activities. Use present simple for habitual actions.

例: When there's a traffic jam, I usually scroll through my phone to save time. For example, I check and reply to emails or catch up on WeChat messages until traffic starts moving again.

提案: Clarify your opinion and give a balanced reason using linking words (e.g., 'however'). Correct tense errors and avoid filler words.

例: I don't think car colours are very important for performance; however, they do make a car stand out aesthetically. For instance, a yellow or purple car immediately attracts my attention on the road because the colour is uncommon.

提案: Use conditional sentences correctly, avoid repetition, and give one clear reason with a specific detail about the car. Keep the answer to 2–3 sentences.

例: If I had enough money in the future, I would buy an expensive car such as a Porsche. I admire Porsches for their excellent acceleration and precise handling, which make driving more enjoyable.

× When I was a kid, I really enjoyed traveling by car because I could use this opportunity to enjoy the scenery passing by.

✓ When I was a kid, I really enjoyed traveling by car because I could use the opportunity to enjoy the passing scenery.

The sentence uses past tense correctly but has awkward article use and word order. 'This opportunity' is better as 'the opportunity' and 'scenery passing by' should be 'passing scenery' for natural English phrasing. Keep past tense consistency.

× For example, when I visit a countryside, I I was attracted by the beautiful scenery, flowers, trees are there.

✓ For example, when I visited the countryside, I was attracted by the beautiful scenery, including the flowers and trees.

Mixed tenses and redundant words: 'visit' (present) should be past 'visited' to match 'was attracted'. 'a countryside' is incorrect; use 'the countryside' or 'countryside' without an article. Remove duplicated 'I' and restructure list with 'including' for clarity.

× I'm passionate about sports cars because they can not only ride on the Smooth Rd. but also on the Rusty Rd. road.

✓ I'm passionate about sports cars because they can not only ride on smooth roads but also on rough roads.

Incorrect capitalization and article use: 'Smooth Rd.' and 'Rusty Rd. road' are unnatural. Use plural 'roads' to refer generally. 'Rusty' likely meant 'rough' or 'uneven'. Avoid unnecessary articles and abbreviations.

× For example, when I drive a sports car, I feel that I.

✓ For example, when I drive a sports car, I feel excited and in control.

The original sentence is incomplete. Provide a complete clause after 'I feel'—for example, 'excited and in control'—to convey a full idea.

× I prefer to be a passenger cause to be a driver makes means that I must be very considerate about myself in the passenger safety and they as a driver I must consideration.

✓ I prefer to be a passenger because being a driver means I must be very careful about passengers' safety and consider many things.

Use 'because' instead of informal 'cause'. Replace awkward structure 'to be a driver makes means that I must' with 'being a driver means'. Use possessive 'passengers' safety' and the verb 'consider' correctly.

× I must take everything in consideration.

✓ I must take everything into consideration.

Fixed preposition: the correct phrase is 'take into consideration'. 'In consideration' is incorrect in this context.

× When there is a traffic jam, sometimes I usually uh, scrolling on my phone to secure time.

✓ When there is a traffic jam, I sometimes scroll through my phone to pass the time.

Verb form error: 'scrolling' needs finite verb 'scroll' to match subject. 'Secure time' is unnatural; use 'pass the time'. Remove redundant 'sometimes' with 'usually'—keep one ('sometimes').

× Sometimes I spend my time on checking up on my phone to check out my uh, emails and umm, check if I haven't answer any WeChat chats.

✓ Sometimes I spend my time checking my phone for emails and to see if I haven't answered any WeChat messages.

Use gerund 'checking' after 'spend my time'. 'Check up on' is unnecessary. 'Check out my emails' -> 'checking my phone for emails'. Use past participle 'answered' not 'answer'. Use 'messages' rather than 'chats' for clarity.

× I don't think car colours are important, but I do think colours of a car are the highlight in the car.

✓ I don't think car colors are important, but I do think a car's color can be a highlight.

Article and possessive issues: use 'a car's color' or 'the color of a car'. 'Colors of a car are the highlight in the car' is redundant and awkward. Also use consistent spelling 'colors' (American) or 'colours' (British).

× Uh, when I see a yellow or purple car on the road, it immediately attracted my attention.

✓ When I see a yellow or purple car on the road, it immediately attracts my attention.

Tense inconsistency: 'see' is present simple so the result clause should also be present simple 'attracts', not past 'attracted'.

× In the future, if I had enough money, I would buy a expensive car I would buy.

✓ In the future, if I have enough money, I will buy an expensive car.

Use first conditional for real future possibility: 'if I have' + 'I will'. Also use article 'an expensive car' and remove repeated phrase. The original used second conditional 'if I had...I would' which implies hypothetical and conflicts with 'in the future' expectation.

× For example, I would buy a Porsche, which I think which has excellent acceleration or characteristics I like most.

✓ For example, I would buy a Porsche, which I think has excellent acceleration, a characteristic I like most.

Remove duplicated 'which'. Use singular 'characteristic' and clarify with comma. 'Acceleration' is uncountable; phrase as 'excellent acceleration' and link to 'a characteristic I like most' for clarity.