Friends— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (tense, articles), and avoid irrelevant or unclear phrases. Use one or two supporting details with linking words. Watch sentence length and clarity.

例: Yes. I have a group of friends I have known since primary school. We used to take an annual trip together, but since I moved to Australia I can only join them about twice a year. Despite the distance, we keep in touch regularly.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence, use clearer vocabulary, and organize details with linking words (for example, 'first', 'after that'). Correct unclear words (e.g. 'Sambar'—clarify if it's a place). Keep to 2–4 sentences.

例: Usually we go to a restaurant to eat and catch up. After dinner we often go to a quieter café or someone's home to have a deeper conversation. This routine helps us relax and share personal news.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and use precise vocabulary. Explain reasons with linking words ('because', 'so'). Fix grammar and avoid vague phrases like 'food validity'.

例: We usually meet in the city of our hometown. Because some friends live in rural areas, they drive into the city where there are more restaurants and cafés, so it is a convenient meeting place for everyone.

提案: Clarify time references and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence about current habits, then contrast with past habits if needed using linking words ('when', 'now'). Avoid unclear abbreviations like 'CD'.

例: Yes. When I was back home I used to hang out with friends about three times a week. Now I go out less often because of work and distance, but we still try to catch up whenever possible.

提案: Use a direct topic sentence and provide specific reasons with linking words. Correct grammar (use 'are' and articles) and avoid repetition. Give one or two concrete examples of support friends provide.

例: Friends are very important to me because, after my family, they are the people I can confide in. For example, I often discuss personal problems and get practical advice or emotional support from them.

提案: Start with a clear preference sentence, then give specific reasons using linking words ('because', 'so'). Improve grammar and natural phrasing (e.g. 'have a deep conversation', 'learn about her personal life').

例: I prefer spending time with one friend at the moment because it is easier to have a deep conversation. That way we can really listen to each other and discuss personal matters in detail.

提案: Give a concise topic sentence and two supporting details with clear reasons. Use correct tense and pronouns, and avoid informal slang. Mention a specific example of hospitality.

例: Yes, I often invite friends to my home and sometimes they stay overnight if their house is far away. My parents are very welcoming and look after guests, so friends feel comfortable staying with us.

提案: Answer directly and give concise comparison with linking words ('in the past', 'now', 'because'). Correct grammar and reduce repetition. Provide one specific example of a place that remains the same.

例: No, not really. In the past and now we usually meet in restaurants or cafés because they are convenient and offer a variety of food we can try.

提案: Start with a clear general statement, then give specific reasons with linking words. Improve grammar and word choice ('busy', 'suitable', 'have a quiet conversation'). Keep to two or three sentences.

例: Some places are unsuitable because they are too noisy. For example, if I want a deep, private conversation with one friend, a busy market or loud bar would not be appropriate; a quiet café or park would be better.

× Yes I have a group of friends that I know since my primary school we always lay in the group with sick people including me.

✓ Yes, I have a group of friends that I have known since primary school; we have always stayed in the same group, even when some of us were ill, including me.

The sentence mixes past and present without correct tense forms. Use present perfect 'have known' for an action that started in the past and continues. Also 'lay in the group' is incorrect collocation; use 'stayed in the same group'. Punctuation separates clauses.

× We have the trip every year we travel together but since I came to Australia I travel with them like 2.

✓ We have a trip every year and travel together, but since I came to Australia I have traveled with them only twice.

Use present simple 'have' for habitual events and present perfect 'have traveled' for experiences up to now after a past reference 'since I came'. Also clarify 'like 2' as 'only twice'.

× We don't do much uh activity but we usually find some restaurant to eat and have a chat for so long and after we finish the dinner we will go to Sambar to have a deep talk together.

✓ We don't do many activities, but we usually find a restaurant to eat and chat for a long time, and after dinner we go to a bar to have a deep conversation together.

'Much' with countable 'activities' should be 'many activities'. 'Some restaurant' should be 'a restaurant'. 'For so long' -> 'for a long time'. 'Will go' changes to simple present 'go' for habitual actions. 'Sambar' seems wrong; likely 'bar'.

× We always meet in our hometown, in the city of my hometown, like someone live quite rural area and she will drive to the city because we have more food validity of cafe, something like that.

✓ We always meet in my hometown, in the city. If someone lives in a rural area, she will drive to the city because there are more cafés and food options.

Use 'in my hometown' not repeated. 'Someone live' needs 'someone lives'. 'Quite rural area' needs article 'a rural area'. 'Food validity of cafe' is incorrect; use 'more cafés and food options'.

× Yes, when I was was in my CD, I always hang out with my friend like three times a week and we have to catch up every time.

✓ Yes, when I was in my country, I always hung out with my friends about three times a week and we had to catch up every time.

Past time reference 'when I was' requires past simple 'hung out' and 'had to'. Fix repetition 'was was' and 'my CD' unclear—likely 'my country'. Use plural 'friends' if more than one.

× Even someone cannot catch up so we can go with.

✓ Even if someone cannot make it, we can go without them or arrange another time.

Original lacks clear subject and verb. 'Someone' needs 'if someone' and complete clause 'cannot make it'. Provide clear alternatives.

× For me, friends really important for me because after my family that I can tell them everything.

✓ For me, friends are very important because, after my family, they are the people I can tell everything to.

Missing verb 'are'. 'Really important for me' -> 'very important'. Clarify structure 'the people I can tell everything to'.

× Friend is gonna be that kind of person as well that I can tell anything with them.

✓ A friend is the kind of person I can tell anything to as well.

Use article 'A friend' and correct pronoun/object placement 'tell anything to them' -> 'tell anything to'. Avoid colloquial 'gonna' in formal correction.

× Right now I prefer to spend time with one friend because it's easy to catch up and I can have very deep talk and I can know really carefully about her personal detail that they wanna tell me.

✓ Right now I prefer to spend time with one friend because it's easier to catch up, I can have a deep conversation, and I can learn more about her personal details that she wants to tell me.

Use comparative 'easier'. 'Have very deep talk' -> 'have a deep conversation'. 'Know really carefully about' -> 'learn more about'. Ensure pronoun agreement 'she wants'. Avoid 'wanna'.

× Yes, I always invite friends to my home and sometime they just sleep in my house.

✓ Yes, I always invite friends to my home and sometimes they stay overnight at my house.

Use 'sometimes' not 'sometime'. 'Sleep in my house' -> 'stay overnight' or 'stay at my house'.

× It her house is far away because my parents really friendly and she really OK if my friend wanna stay home and my parents take care of them very well.

✓ If their house is far away, my parents are very friendly and they are okay if my friends want to stay at our home; my parents take good care of them.

Incorrect pronouns and subject agreement. Use 'if their house is far away'. 'My parents really friendly' needs verb 'are'. 'She really OK' unclear—use 'they are okay'. 'Friend wanna' -> 'friends want'.

× No, is isn't for me. It's not too different between the past and right now because we it's the easy place to meet friend.

✓ No, it isn't for me. It's not too different from the past because it's an easy place to meet friends.

Fix subject-verb inversion 'isn't'. Use 'different from' not 'between'. Remove extra 'we it's'. Use article 'an easy place' and plural 'friends'.

× It's always in restaurant or some cafe. We can pick whatever we wanna eat or we wanna try and go to.

✓ It's always in a restaurant or a café. We can choose whatever we want to eat or try.

Use articles 'a restaurant'/'a café'. 'Pick whatever we wanna eat or we wanna try and go to' is repetitive; simplify to 'choose whatever we want to eat or try'. Avoid 'wanna'.

× Because some places is too busy for us, sometime I just go with one friend and be really wanna deep talk, be not like take take the loud voice.

✓ Because some places are too busy for us, sometimes I just go with one friend and really want to have a deep conversation; we don't want loud noise.

Use plural verb 'are' with 'places'. 'Sometime' -> 'sometimes'. 'Be really wanna deep talk' is ungrammatical; use 'really want to have a deep conversation'. 'Be not like take take the loud voice' -> 'we don't want loud noise'.

× So if we go to really busy place, that one is not suit for art to meet.

✓ So if we go to a really busy place, it is not suitable for us to meet there.

Use article 'a really busy place'. 'Not suit for art to meet' is incorrect; use 'not suitable for us to meet there'. Ensure pronoun agreement and correct adjective 'suitable'.