Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details (what ad, why it impressed you, a short example). Use correct tense and simpler grammar to avoid confusion.

例: Yes. When I was a child, TV adverts impressed me because I was not allowed to watch films. I remember a funny cereal commercial with a dancing mascot; its music and bright colors made me laugh and stuck in my memory.

提案: Give a direct answer (yes/no) and then explain briefly with a clear example. Use linking words (for example, because) and more accurate vocabulary (posters, billboards, inside carriages).

例: Yes, I do. When I take the train I often notice many billboards and posters along the tracks and inside carriages. For example, last week I saw large posters for a mobile phone company on the platform and small ads stuck on the train windows.

提案: Answer clearly and avoid hesitation. State a simple opinion and give one clear reason with an example. Avoid unclear references (e.g. "advertisement for Buddhist")—be specific about the product or claim.

例: Not really. I dislike ads that promise results that are unrealistic. For instance, I saw a skincare ad that claimed instant wrinkle removal, which seemed exaggerated and made me distrust the product.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence saying which type you prefer and why. Provide one concrete feature you like (humor, creativity) and a short example. Keep sentences concise and avoid repetition.

例: I prefer ads aimed at children, especially those with toys and playful storytelling. I like ones that use humor and bright animation, such as a toy commercial where characters go on a funny mini-adventure to show how the toy works.

提案: Start with a direct answer and give specific places where you see ads (YouTube, apps, websites). Explain one effect briefly (distracts you) and give an example. Remove filler words and repetitions.

例: Yes, I see them often, especially on YouTube and in free mobile apps. For example, pre-roll video ads on YouTube interrupt my videos and sometimes make me lose focus on what I was watching.

× Yes, usually I engage to advertisement when I was a child because it is not allowed to me to watch movies or series.

✓ Yes, usually I was drawn to advertisements when I was a child because I was not allowed to watch movies or series.

Errors: 'engage to advertisement' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'be drawn to' or 'engage with' and requires past tense. 'it is not allowed to me' is ungrammatical; correct passive is 'I was not allowed'. Suggestion: use natural verbs and correct passive structure: 'I was drawn to advertisements' and 'I was not allowed to watch...'. Use consistent past tense for childhood actions.

× So I replaced them by a small advertisement and enjoy them that make me laugh especially.

✓ So I replaced them with short advertisements and enjoyed those that made me laugh.

Errors: 'replaced them by' should be 'replaced them with'. 'a small advertisement' should be plural 'short advertisements' to match context. 'enjoy' and 'make' should be in past tense to agree with 'was a child' context: 'enjoyed' and 'made'. Suggestion: ensure correct preposition 'with' and past tense consistency.

× I know I didn't, but I see them when I use trains or other public transportation because it is along the route.

✓ I know I didn't used to, but I see them when I use trains or other public transportation because they are along the route.

Errors: 'I know I didn't' is incomplete; intended meaning is 'I didn't used to'. 'it is along the route' refers to advertisements (plural), so use plural 'they are'. Suggestion: use 'used to' for past habits and ensure pronoun number agreement.

× It is a lot of advertisement like that hang on the buildings or just through along the route in.

✓ There are a lot of advertisements like those that hang on buildings or appear along the route.

Errors: 'It is a lot of advertisement' should be 'There are a lot of advertisements' (plural and correct 'there be' construction). 'that hang' must agree with 'advertisements'. 'through along the route in' is ungrammatical; use 'appear along the route'. Suggestion: use 'there are' for existence and match plural nouns with plural verbs.

× Not really, especially when I feel this advertisement, uh, is fake or something far from the reality.

✓ Not really, especially when I feel an advertisement is fake or far from reality.

Errors: 'this advertisement, uh, is' is wordy; use 'an advertisement is'. 'something far from the reality' should be 'far from reality' (no article). Suggestion: remove filler words and use concise noun phrases.

× And when and also when I see advertisement for Buddhist that I already use it and it is I, I try to match the reality, it is fake.

✓ Also, when I see advertisements for Buddhist products that I already use and try to compare with reality, they seem fake.

Errors: 'see advertisement for Buddhist' needs plural 'advertisements' and clearer noun 'Buddhist products' or 'Buddhist items'. 'that I already use it' has redundant pronoun 'it' and wrong clause order. 'it is I, I try to match the reality' is unclear; intended meaning is 'I try to compare them with reality'. Suggestion: simplify clause structure, remove redundant pronouns, and ensure subject-verb agreement (they seem fake).

× If I have to choose I'll be referred to watching advertisements that relate with children like toys or any suggestion for toys or something like that and also it include comedy scenes scenes or something.

✓ If I have to choose, I'll prefer advertisements that are aimed at children, such as those for toys or toy suggestions, and that include comedy scenes.

Errors: 'I'll be referred to watching' is unnatural; use 'I'll prefer' or 'I'd choose'. 'relate with children' should be 'aimed at children' or 'related to children'. 'any suggestion for toys' is awkward; use 'such as those for toys'. 'it include' should be 'that include' to agree with plural 'advertisements'. Suggestion: use natural verbs for preference and ensure relative clauses agree with antecedents.

× Yes I do. Usually I see advertisement when I see when I use my phone especially YouTube or a small apps and I think this advertisement sometimes it distracts me from the from from my watching especially when I watch.

✓ Yes, I do. Usually I see advertisements when I use my phone, especially on YouTube or small apps, and I think these advertisements sometimes distract me from what I'm watching.

Errors: 'see advertisement' should be 'see advertisements' (plural). Remove repeated 'when I see when I use'. 'a small apps' wrong article/number; use 'small apps'. 'this advertisement sometimes it distracts me' has redundant subject 'it' and wrong demonstrative; use 'these advertisements sometimes distract me'. 'from the from from my watching especially when I watch' is repetitive and unclear; use 'from what I'm watching'. Suggestion: eliminate repetitions, fix number agreement, and use clear relative/nominal clauses.