Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Fix grammar (e.g., "a nostalgic advertisement," "it made a strong impression on me," "my favourite superhero," and tense consistency). Keep length to about 2–3 sentences and avoid repetition.

例: A nostalgic TV commercial for a Batman toy made a strong impression on me because Batman was my favourite superhero. I remember being over the moon when my father gave me that exact toy for my birthday, and I played with it for weeks.

提案: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence and one reason with an example. Avoid repetition and correct grammar (e.g., "different types of advertisements on buses," "public transport"). Use a linking word like "because" or "since" to connect reason and result.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on buses and trains during my commute. Because so many people use public transport, companies place ads there to reach a large audience quickly.

提案: State your opinion clearly, then give one balanced reason and a short qualification. Correct grammar ("I don't really like advertisements," "I see too many ads during the day"). Use a linking word such as "however" or "although" to show contrast.

例: I don't really like advertisements because I see too many of them every day and they can be boring. However, they can be useful when I want to compare products or learn about new deals.

提案: Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give specific reasons and an example. Avoid unclear phrases (e.g., "default marketing," "prototypes"). Use linking words like "because" and "for example" to make your answer coherent.

例: I prefer humorous and informative advertisements because they make me smile and also teach me useful details about a product. For example, a short funny video that also shows how a gadget works would catch my attention.

提案: Give a clear, concise answer and one specific example. Avoid unclear repetitions and fix grammar (e.g., "Yes, I see a lot of ads on my phone and computer," "during TV breaks and while browsing the internet"). Keep it to 1–2 sentences with a linking phrase like "for example."

例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone and computer. For example, I usually get pop-up ads while browsing and see commercials during TV breaks when I stream shows.

× When I was a kid, there was an nostalgic advertisement of Batman toy that made a good impression on me because it was my great superhero.

✓ When I was a kid, there was a nostalgic advertisement for a Batman toy that made a strong impression on me because he was my favorite superhero.

Use 'a' before a noun starting with a consonant sound (article issue). Use 'advertisement for' rather than 'of' to indicate the product being advertised (preposition choice). 'Batman toy' should be preceded by an article 'a'. 'Made a good impression' is grammatically acceptable but 'made a strong impression' is more natural. Replace 'it was my great superhero' with 'he was my favorite superhero' because Batman (a person/character) takes a pronoun 'he' and 'favorite' is the appropriate adjective.

× Then in my birthday when my dad gave me that toy as a gift, I was over the moon.

✓ Then on my birthday, when my dad gave me that toy as a gift, I was over the moon.

Use the preposition 'on' with 'birthday' (preposition error). The past tense 'gave' and 'was' are correct. Add a comma after the introductory time clause for clarity (sentence structure).

× I usually see different type of advertisements in bus during my daily commuting.

✓ I usually see different types of advertisements on buses during my daily commute.

'Different type' should be plural 'different types' (quantifier/number). Use 'on buses' not 'in bus' for public transport (preposition and singular/plural). Use 'daily commute' rather than 'daily commuting' to name the activity (noun choice).

× Also you can see you can confront a lot of advertising advertising on public transports.

✓ Also, you can see a lot of advertisements on public transport.

Original repeats words and uses awkward verb 'confront' and plural 'transports'. Remove redundancy and use 'a lot of advertisements' (correct noun and quantifier) and 'public transport' or 'public transportation' (uncountable noun). Add a comma after 'Also' for clarity.

× The reason is many people use public transportation and I think it's a good and smart marketing.

✓ The reason is that many people use public transportation, and I think it's good and smart marketing.

Add 'that' after 'The reason is' for standard structure (sentence structure). 'It's a good and smart marketing' should be 'it's good and smart marketing' or 'it's a good and smart marketing strategy' because 'marketing' is uncountable; adding 'strategy' makes it countable. Added comma before coordinating conjunction.

× In my view, I don't really like advertisement because I see too many advertisement in day and watching a lot of advertisements is boring.

✓ In my view, I don't really like advertisements because I see too many advertisements during the day, and watching a lot of advertisements is boring.

Use plural 'advertisements' consistently (quantifier/plural issue). Use 'during the day' not 'in day' (preposition). Add a comma before 'and' to join two independent clauses (sentence structure).

× Advertisements are boring but without this it is hard to make choice in shopping.

✓ Advertisements are boring, but without them it is hard to make choices when shopping.

Pronoun 'this' is vague; use 'them' to refer to 'advertisements' (pronoun use). 'Make choice' should be plural 'make choices' or 'make a choice' (quantifier/number). Use 'when shopping' for natural phrasing (sentence structure).

× The Internet is full of misleading and default marketing.

✓ The internet is full of misleading and deceptive marketing.

Capitalize 'Internet' is optional; 'misleading and default' is awkward—'deceptive' is a better adjective than 'default' in this context (word choice/adjective use). 'Marketing' is fine as an uncountable noun.

× Also prototypes.

✓ There are also many poor prototypes of ads.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking verb and clear meaning (sentence without a verb). Provide a full sentence: 'There are also many poor prototypes of ads' to convey likely intended meaning.

× To me, humorous and informative advertising are better than others because they change my mood personally and gain more information.

✓ To me, humorous and informative advertisements are better than others because they lift my mood and provide more information.

Use 'advertisements' plural to match 'are' (number). 'Change my mood personally' is awkward—'lift my mood' is natural. 'Gain more information' is incorrect because people 'gain' information, not advertisements; use 'provide more information' (verb and subject agreement).

× Yeah, advertisements are a common sign for me.

✓ Yes, advertisements are a common sight for me.

'A common sign' is incorrect collocation; use 'a common sight' to indicate something often seen (word choice). 'Yeah' changed to 'Yes' for formality but not required.

× For example, during TV break, TV, television breaks and Internet reflects visiting often make me watch more advertisements when I use them.

✓ For example, during TV breaks and when I visit the internet, I see more advertisements, so I end up watching more ads when I use them.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and confusing (sentence structure). Reorganize into coherent clauses: 'during TV breaks' and 'when I visit the internet' are the time clauses, then state the result 'I see more advertisements' and consequence 'I end up watching more ads.' Use consistent vocabulary and word order.