Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct: start with a clear topic sentence naming the ad, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, umm) and repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "memorable" rather than "impressed me most") and describe what made it catchy (jingle, characters, colors).

例: A chocolate advertisement stuck with me from childhood: it was for Daily Milk chocolate. I remember it because of its memorable jingle and colourful, playful characters, which made the product feel fun and appealing. As a result, I wanted to ask my parents to buy it whenever I saw the ad.

提案: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary: say yes/no and where you see them, then give specific examples and link reasons. Correct unclear parts ("Tran") and avoid unnecessary hesitations. Provide a clearer description of ad types and typical content, e.g., products, services, public campaigns.

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on public transport in my town. Buses and trains are covered with posters and window displays that promote local products, political campaigns and public service messages. Because these vehicles travel across the city, advertisers use them to reach many people quickly.

提案: Give a clearer opinion and support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words. Use correct grammar (agreement: "they are" vs "it has") and avoid vague phrases like "very knowledgeable"—explain what you learn from them. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy some advertisements, especially for cosmetics, because they explain product benefits clearly and often show before-and-after results. Also, their bright visuals and catchy music catch my attention, so I remember the brand.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence naming the category, then give specific reasons and an example. Reduce repetition and filler words. Mention how ads influence your behavior (e.g., convincing demonstrations, reviews) and use linking words like "because" and "so".

例: I prefer cosmetic advertisements because I enjoy trying new beauty products. When an ad demonstrates clear benefits or shows how to use the product, I often research it online and sometimes buy it, especially if it includes a discount or good reviews.

提案: Be concise and precise: state where you see ads, give a specific example of ad format, and briefly explain why. Remove fillers and correct phrasing ("better" → "a popular"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone, especially on Instagram. When I scroll through reels, short sponsored videos appear between clips, and because Instagram targets users with personalized content, I encounter many ads there.

× Yes, there were many advertisements that I had watched during my childhood days, but the one I remember and that impressed me most was a chocolate advertisement.

✓ Yes, there were many advertisements that I watched during my childhood, but the one I remember and that impressed me the most was a chocolate advertisement.

Error type: 1 and 22. 'had watched' is past perfect unnecessary; simple past 'watched' fits. 'childhood days' is redundant; use 'childhood'. Missing article before 'most' corrected to 'the most'. Use consistent simple past narrative.

× It was a daily milk chocolate.

✓ It was a milk chocolate bar.

Error type: 22 and 1. 'daily milk chocolate' is awkward and incorrect collocation; 'milk chocolate' is a noun phrase and if referring to a product form 'chocolate bar' is appropriate. 'Daily' is unnecessary unless intended meaning is a brand name.

× I like that advertisement because it was, uh, very catchy and it had a good background.

✓ I liked that advertisement because it was very catchy and had good background music.

Error type: 6 and 13. Mixing present 'I like' with past description 'it was' causes tense inconsistency. Use past 'I liked' to match 'was'. 'a good background' is vague; 'good background music' is clearer and removes article issue.

× Yes uh, in my town, umm, every public transport or like trains or Tran or buses have advertisements like hoardings and posters on the windows.

✓ Yes, in my town, most public transport, such as trains and buses, has advertisements like hoardings and posters on the windows.

Error type: 1 and 27. 'every public transport' is incorrect; 'public transport' is uncountable or use 'most public transport vehicles'. Subject-verb agreement: 'trains and buses' plural would take 'have', but treating 'public transport' as singular requires 'has'. Also removed the unclear word 'Tran' and improved parallel structure.

× Uh, these are about the, uh, population, uh, and the elections.

✓ They are about population and elections.

Error type: 11 and 22. Unnecessary commas and definite articles 'the' before general nouns are omitted: use 'population' and 'elections' without 'the' when speaking generally. Also replace 'these' with 'they' for smoother reference.

× Yes, I like advertisements. I like advertisements about cosmetics because they are very knowledgeable for me and it has many colourful and catchy slogans and it's background music is always melodious which attracts me the most.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements. I like those about cosmetics because they are very informative for me, have many colorful and catchy slogans, and their background music is always melodious, which attracts me the most.

Error type: 12, 13 and 27. 'they are very knowledgeable' misuses 'knowledgeable' (applies to people); use 'informative'. Pronoun agreement: 'it has many' should be 'they have many' or 'those have many' because 'advertisements' is plural. 'it's background music' is incorrect punctuation and possessive; use 'their background music'.

× The most significant advertisement that I like is about cosmetics as I love to try new products in the market and whenever I see any umm, new product in any advertisement, I just order it online.

✓ The type of advertisement I like most is about cosmetics, as I love trying new products on the market, and whenever I see a new product in an advertisement, I order it online.

Error type: 17 and 26. 'The most significant advertisement that I like' is wordy and awkward; simplify to 'The type of advertisement I like most'. Use gerund 'trying' after 'love'. Change 'any umm, new product' to 'a new product' for natural article use and clarity. Remove filler words for fluency.

× Umm, the advertisements that I like about is cosmetics, uh, mainly.

✓ Mainly, the advertisements I like are about cosmetics.

Error type: 26 and 12. Sentence structure is incorrect: 'advertisements that I like about is cosmetics' is ungrammatical. Reorder to 'the advertisements I like are about cosmetics' and place 'mainly' appropriately.

× I often see advertisements on the platform Instagram as whenever I uh, Scroll down reels, uh, there are advertisements coming in between the reels, umm, as uh, it is the better platform for advertisements.

✓ I often see advertisements on the platform Instagram; whenever I scroll through reels, advertisements appear between them, because it is a good platform for advertising.

Error type: 11 and 8. Use 'scroll through' rather than 'Scroll down' (capitalization fixed). 'coming in between the reels' awkward; use 'appear between them'. 'better' should be 'a good' or 'better than others' — original lacks comparison context, so 'a good platform for advertising' is clearer. Maintain correct verb forms and capitalization.

× So I think I mostly see on my phone.

✓ So I think I mostly see ads on my phone.

Error type: 6 and 26. Sentence lacks object: 'see on my phone' needs what is seen — 'ads' or 'advertisements'. Use present simple 'see' consistent with habit. Clarify 'ads' for natural speech.