Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the ad, then give one or two specific details about what made it memorable. Use correct tense and simpler connectors (e.g., "because", "which"). Avoid unnecessary phrases like "therefore thanks".

例: One advertisement that impressed me as a child was a TV ad showing how to use educational software for schoolwork. It stuck with me because the ad demonstrated step-by-step features and showed students solving problems, which made learning with technology seem easy and useful.

提案: Answer the question directly (yes/no) and explain briefly with a clear reason. Use correct grammar and avoid repetition. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to connect ideas.

例: Not many ads appear on trains where I live; I see more advertisements on private vehicles such as taxis and buses because car owners often use them for local promotions. For example, I often notice branded car wraps advertising local shops.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one specific reason with an example. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "product features" instead of "products description") and check word choice like "new items" rather than "new loan items" unless you mean loans.

例: Yes, I like advertisements because they inform me about product features and new releases. For instance, ads helped me discover a budget smartphone with a long battery life that I later bought.

提案: Start with a clear sentence naming the type of ads you prefer, then explain why with a concrete criterion (e.g., honesty, clear demonstrations). Avoid vague phrases and finish the sentence properly.

例: I prefer honest advertisements that clearly demonstrate a product’s features rather than exaggerated claims. For example, I trust ads that show real demonstrations or customer reviews that prove the product’s durability.

提案: Be concise and natural: answer directly and give one clear example of where you see ads. Fix grammar and word order (e.g., "it displays" → "an ad plays"). Mention frequency (often, sometimes) and a short effect if possible.

例: Yes, I often see ads on my phone, especially when I open social media or video apps. Usually an ad plays before a video, so I have to watch a 15–30 second clip before I continue.

× But most important advertisement I ever seen was about how to use technology while I am a child for my studies.

✓ But the most important advertisement I ever saw was about how to use technology for my studies when I was a child.

The sentence uses the past tense incorrectly: 'seen' is the past participle and needs an auxiliary (have/been) or the simple past 'saw'. Also the time clause 'while I am a child' mixes present and past; it should be 'when I was a child'. Add the definite article 'the' before 'most important advertisement' for natural English. Suggestion: Use simple past 'saw' for completed past events and keep time expressions in past tense ('when I was a child').

× I'd rather see lot of transport advertisement on private vehicle because most of the competitive mode of transport are now as now is cars because it has a vast variety of products.

✓ I'd rather see a lot of transport advertisements on private vehicles because the most competitive mode of transport now is cars, and they carry a wide variety of products.

Multiple quantifier and agreement errors: 'lot' needs 'a' -> 'a lot of'. 'Advertisement' should be plural as multiple items are implied -> 'advertisements'. 'Private vehicle' should be plural -> 'private vehicles'. The clause 'most of the competitive mode of transport are now as now is cars' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'the most competitive mode of transport now is cars'. 'It has' should agree with plural 'cars' -> 'they carry' or 'cars carry'. Use 'a wide variety of' instead of 'a vast variety of products' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: Check singular/plural and quantifier forms and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I like advertisement because it gives me knowledge about the products description and it often tells me about the new loan items.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements because they give me information about product descriptions and often tell me about new loan items.

'Advertisement' should be plural ('advertisements') or 'the advertisement' depending on context. 'It gives' is singular but refers to plural, so use 'they give'. 'Knowledge about the products description' is awkward: use 'information about product descriptions'. 'The new loan items' -> 'new loan items' (no article needed). Ensure plural agreement and use natural collocations. Suggestion: Match plural nouns with plural pronouns and use 'information' for uncountable content.

× The kind of advertisement in which the quality and features of a product are said to be truths and not fake. Promising advertisement like.

✓ I like advertisements in which the quality and features of a product are presented truthfully rather than being fake, such as promising advertisements.

Original is a sentence fragment and awkward. 'Are said to be truths' is unnatural; use 'are presented truthfully' or 'are true'. 'Promising advertisement like.' is an incomplete fragment. Combine into one complete sentence and use appropriate adjective/adverb forms. Suggestion: Avoid fragments; ensure subject and verb are present and ideas are combined into complete sentences.

× Yes, I often see advertisement on my phone because whenever I open my social media apps or any other entertainment app it is display that firstly you have to see an advertisement.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone because whenever I open my social media apps or any other entertainment app, it displays that first I have to watch an advertisement.

Preposition 'on' is fine but 'advertisement' should be plural -> 'advertisements'. 'It is display that' is incorrect; use 'it displays that' or 'a message displays' or 'the app shows that'. 'Firstly you have to see an advertisement' is awkward; use 'first I have to watch an advertisement' or 'you must watch an advertisement first'. Also add a comma before the subordinate clause. Ensure subject-verb agreement with 'the app displays'. Suggestion: Use correct verb forms for 'display' and natural phrasing like 'the app shows an ad first'.