Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, trật tự từ và mạch văn: trả lời trực tiếp, dùng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, tiếp theo 1-2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: màu sắc, nhân vật, cảm xúc). Tránh lỗi như “when I was a try” và lặp từ. Sử dụng liên từ đơn giản như "because" hoặc "and" để kết nối ý.

例: When I was a child, a colorful chocolate commercial left a strong impression on me. It featured bright animations and cheerful music, which made it memorable. Because the characters were playful, I remember feeling excited to try the chocolate.

提案: Làm rõ ý bằng cách dùng câu chủ đề, sau đó nêu lý do cụ thể và ví dụ. Chú ý dùng danh từ và động từ đúng (campaign, promote) và chia số nhiều/ít đúng. Dùng liên từ như "for example" hoặc "such as" để thêm chi tiết.

例: Yes, I often see many advertisements on public transport. They are usually placed by companies or the government to promote products, services or public campaigns. For example, I often notice posters for new smartphones and health awareness campaigns on buses.

提案: Tránh câu lủng củng và lỗi từ vựng không phù hợp (ví dụ “retirement” là sai). Trả lời trực tiếp với 1 câu chủ đề rõ ràng, rồi giải thích ngắn gọn với lý do cụ thể. Dùng từ phù hợp như "helpful" hoặc "informative".

例: Yes, I do like some advertisements because they are informative. They help people learn about new products and often convince consumers to try or buy items.

提案: Cần rõ ràng và mạch lạc: nêu loại quảng cáo mình thích (ví dụ: đồ ăn, địa phương), rồi cho ví dụ cụ thể và lý do. Tránh câu hỏi lại cho người kiểm tra. Dùng liên từ như "for example" và mô tả cụ thể về cảm xúc hoặc hành động.

例: I like food advertisements because they make me want to try new dishes. For example, local restaurant ads showing delicious meals often encourage me to visit and taste them.

提案: Sửa lỗi từ vựng ("assignments" → "ads"), ngữ pháp (số và thì), và làm rõ ý: nói khi nào xuất hiện quảng cáo và tác động cụ thể lên bạn. Dùng liên từ như "so" hoặc "which" để nối ý.

例: Yes, I often see many ads when I use my phone or computer, especially during videos. They usually appear in the middle of a video, which can be annoying and distract me from studying.

× Yes, when I was a try a colorful chocolate commercial leaves a strong impression on me.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, a colorful chocolate commercial left a strong impression on me.

The sentence has incorrect word order and tense. 'when I was a try' is ungrammatical and should be 'when I was a child' (noun). The main clause refers to a past event so the verb should be past simple 'left' not 'leaves'. Also add a comma after the time clause for clarity. Suggestion: replace 'try' with 'child' and change present 'leaves' to past 'left'.

× The art had cheerful music and made it very memorable and made me.

✓ The ad had cheerful music, which made it very memorable and stayed with me.

The sentence uses 'art' incorrectly (should be 'ad' or 'advertisement') and has incomplete structure 'made me'. Use a relative clause 'which made it very memorable' and a complete expression 'stayed with me' to convey lasting impression. Also use a comma before the relative clause. Suggestion: use 'ad' and complete the idea with a full verb phrase.

× I think they are usually campaigned by government and companies to promote product, service or public measures.

✓ I think they are usually run by the government and companies to promote products, services, or public measures.

'Campaigned by' is not the correct passive collocation here; 'run by' or 'produced by' is better. Missing articles: 'the government' and plural forms 'products, services'. Use commas correctly in a list. Suggestion: use 'run by the government and companies' and pluralize nouns.

× Yes, of course because of retirement that was shall be a bit on consumers because it because they inform people about new products and encourage them to purchase items.

✓ Yes, of course, because advertising has an effect on consumers: it informs people about new products and encourages them to purchase items.

The original is confused and ungrammatical. 'Because of retirement' is wrong contextually and grammatically. Use a clear subject 'advertising' and present simple 'has an effect' and verbs 'informs' and 'encourages' for general truths. Remove unnecessary words like 'shall be a bit'. Suggestion: state the cause clearly and use correct verb forms.

× No food and I want to try new craziness for example.

✓ I like food advertisements, because they make me want to try new and unusual items, for example.

Sentence is fragmentary and unclear: 'No food' is ambiguous. Recast to 'I like food advertisements' and explain effect with a complete clause. 'New craziness' is informal and awkward; use 'new and unusual items'. Suggestion: make a full sentence and use appropriate adjectives.

× What are you saying for a local?

✓ What do you mean by 'a local' or 'a local ad'?.

The question is unclear and uses wrong verb form 'are you saying'. Use 'do you mean' to ask for clarification. Also clarify the noun: 'a local' is vague; likely 'a local ad' or 'local advertising'. Suggestion: use 'What do you mean by...'.

× More resident make me want to visit and try.

✓ More local residents make me want to visit and try the place.

'Resident' should be plural 'residents' and 'local' should precede it. Missing article 'the place' or specify what to try. Verb agreement: 'make' matches plural subject 'residents'. Suggestion: use 'local residents' and complete the object.

× Yes, I often see assignments when I am watching videos or studying.

✓ Yes, I often see ads when I am watching videos or studying.

'Assignments' is the wrong word; the correct noun is 'ads' (advertisements). Keep present continuous 'am watching'/'am studying' for ongoing actions. Suggestion: replace incorrect vocabulary with 'ads'.

× They usually appear during the videos and can be annoying because this make me distract from studying.

✓ They usually appear during videos and can be annoying because they distract me from studying.

Plural subject 'they' requires plural verb 'distract' not 'make me distract'. 'This' is singular and incorrect; use 'they' to refer to ads. Also drop 'the' before 'videos' unless specific videos are meant. Suggestion: use 'they distract me' for natural phrasing.