Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (umm, uh) and tense/grammar errors.

例: Yes. A video game commercial impressed me as a child because it was extremely creative and funny. For example, it used a catchy song and silly characters that made my family laugh, so I still remember it clearly.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with clear, specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas and correct unnatural phrases (e.g., ‘you cannot really avoid them’ rather than ‘obey’). Remove colloquial fillers.

例: Yes, I do. There are adverts on trains, buses and in stations, so you hardly ever miss them. Moreover, many are colorful and eye-catching, which is why they attract so much attention.

提案: Provide a concise topic sentence and then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating phrases and fillers. Mention an example to make your answer more concrete.

例: It depends on the ad. I enjoy creative, funny adverts because they make me laugh and remember the product; however, I get irritated by repetitive or dull ads that interrupt what I'm doing.

提案: Answer directly and add a specific example or detail to show depth. Use linking words (for example, because, however) and avoid repetition of the same phrase from earlier answers.

例: I prefer creative and humorous adverts because they are memorable and entertaining. For example, a clever TV commercial with a funny storyline makes me more likely to remember the brand and buy the product.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then explain with specific details and linking words. Avoid fillers and vague phrasing like ‘sadly show up.’ Mention types of ads and how they affect you to enrich the answer.

例: Yes, I see them often, especially on websites and in apps. For instance, pop-up ads and video ads autoplay before content, which is annoying because they interrupt what I'm trying to do.

× Always make me laughing and think umm that's why the advertisement still stayed in my mind and uh.

✓ It always made me laugh and think, so that advertisement has stayed in my mind.

Original uses incorrect verb form 'make me laughing'—after 'make' use the base verb 'laugh' (causative construction), not '-ing'. Also tense consistency: speaker refers to a past childhood ad, so 'made' or 'has stayed' is appropriate; combining past simple and present perfect clarifies that the ad made an impression in the past and its effect continues now. Suggestion: use 'made me laugh' and 'has stayed in my mind.'

× You cannot really obey them.

✓ You cannot really avoid them.

The verb 'obey' is incorrect collocation for advertisements; we 'avoid' or 'ignore' ads. The original sentence is grammatically correct but semantically wrong. Replace with 'avoid' to convey intended meaning. Also maintain subject-verb agreement: 'you cannot avoid them.'

× You know, it's kind of interesting because of some is a really colorful and eye-catching.

✓ You know, it's kind of interesting because some of them are really colorful and eye-catching.

Original sentence has incorrect structure 'because of some is...' which is ungrammatical. Use 'because some of them are...' with plural subject 'them' and plural verb 'are.' This fixes word order and subject-verb agreement and clarifies meaning.

× Umm, I like creative and funny advertisements, you know? They always make me laugh and think.

✓ I like creative and funny advertisements. They always make me laugh and make me think.

Original is mostly correct but mixed casual filler; clarify by separating into two clear sentences and use parallel structure 'make me laugh and make me think.' This improves fluency and parallelism in present tense statements.

× Uh, to be honest, it really depends on the type of ads. I really like creative and funny advertisements because they always make me laugh and think, but I feel annoyed about boring advertisements.

✓ To be honest, it really depends on the type of ads. I like creative and funny advertisements because they always make me laugh and make me think, but I get annoyed by boring advertisements.

Maintain present tense consistency and improve collocation: use 'get annoyed by' rather than 'feel annoyed about' for natural expression. Also use parallel structure 'make me laugh and make me think.'

× Uh, especially when I want to open the website or another app and the advertisements sadly show up.

✓ Especially when I open a website or another app and advertisements pop up.

Use simple present 'open' for habitual actions and 'pop up' (phrasal verb) for ads appearing; 'sadly' is unnecessary. This yields a natural present-tense description of a regular occurrence.