Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Говорите более плавно и избегайте повторов и «заполнителей» (uh, um). Начинайте с простой чёткой темы, затем добавляйте 1-2 конкретных деталей (например, что в рекламе было особенного: музыка, персонажи, цвета) и завершайте кратким итогом. Контролируйте длину до 3–4 предложений и используйте связки (for example, because, so) для логичности.

例: Yes. A Coca-Cola advertisement impressed me when I was a child. It aired before New Year and featured bright colors and cheerful music, which made me excited. For example, the ad showed families celebrating together, so I always looked forward to seeing it on TV.

提案: Избегайте тавтологии (повторов одной и той же мысли). Дайте чёткое обобщение, затем конкретный пример и, при необходимости, причину. Используйте связующие слова (especially, for instance, because) и не повторяйте словосочетания дословно.

例: Yes, I see many adverts on trains and buses, especially in the subway. For instance, posters and digital screens often promote films and mobile apps. This is effective because thousands of commuters see them every day.

提案: Формулируйте предложения грамматически корректно и избегайте лишних слов. Дайте общее мнение, затем приведите конкретную причину и пример. Используйте подходящие связки (if, because, for example) и следите за согласованием времен и артиклями.

例: Yes, I enjoy advertisements that are creative and entertaining. For example, childhood ads were colorful and humorous, so they caught my attention and made me happy.

提案: Устраните заполнители и говорите более уверенно. Давайте тему, затем 2-3 конкретные причины, избегая повторов (big, big budget). Можно добавить краткий пример или эффект. Следите за формой существительных и согласованием (famous people, participates → participate).

例: I prefer advertising for global sports events because it often looks spectacular and well-produced. These ads have large budgets and famous athletes, so they feel like short pieces of art and attract a global audience.

提案: Сформулируйте мысль короче и яснее: общее утверждение, затем конкретная ситуация и причина вашего отношения. Избегайте неуклюжих выражений («it's a consequence of ability of watching this video free») — лучше сказать «because it allows me to watch for free».

例: Yes, I see ads quite often, especially on YouTube where they play before videos. They can be annoying, but I accept them because they allow me to watch content for free.

× Yeah, There was a advertisement of Coca-Cola that I enjoyed very much as I was a child.

✓ Yeah, there was an advertisement for Coca-Cola that I enjoyed very much when I was a child.

Incorrect article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound; use 'advertisement for' not 'of' in this context; 'as I was a child' is unnatural — use 'when I was a child'. Suggestion: use 'an' before vowel sounds and prefer 'for' to indicate the target of the advertisement.

× It was, uh, on the days before New Year celebration and uh, uh, I feel, I feel uh, very excited about it and I liked watching it and always waited to it to appear on the television.

✓ It was in the days before the New Year celebration, and I felt very excited about it. I liked watching it and always waited for it to appear on the television.

'on the days' should be 'in the days' or 'in the days before'; 'New Year celebration' needs the definite article 'the'; tense inconsistency: use past 'felt' to match 'was'; 'waited to it' is incorrect — use 'waited for it'; 'on the television' is acceptable but 'on television' is more idiomatic. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use correct prepositions and articles.

× Yeah, there are plenty of advertising posters inside the trains, especially in the subway and also in public transport like buses.

✓ Yeah, there are plenty of advertising posters inside trains, especially in the subway and on public transport like buses.

'the trains' and 'inside the trains' can be simplified to 'inside trains'; 'in public transport' should be 'on public transport' or 'on buses'; 'in the subway' is fine. Suggestion: use 'plenty of' with plural countable 'posters' and use correct prepositions ('inside trains', 'on buses').

× There are also a lot of advertising.

✓ There is also a lot of advertising.

'Advertising' is an uncountable noun, so use singular verb 'is' and 'a lot of' can modify uncountable nouns. Alternatively, 'a lot of advertisements' would use plural. Suggestion: choose uncountable or plural form consistently: 'a lot of advertising' or 'a lot of advertisements'.

× Yes, I like advertisements if it's made in a very creative and spectacular way.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements if they're made in a very creative and spectacular way.

'Advertisements' is plural, so pronoun and verb should be plural: 'they're made' not 'it's made'. Suggestion: ensure pronoun-antecedent number agreement.

× And for example, I liked very much advertisement when I was a child because it was much more colorful and it was a with a good humor in it.

✓ For example, I liked advertisements very much when I was a child because they were much more colorful and had good humor in them.

'I liked very much advertisement' word order is incorrect — adverb 'very much' typically follows the verb or comes after object: 'liked advertisements very much'; use plural 'advertisements' to match general meaning; 'it was a with a good humor in it' is ungrammatical — use 'had good humor in them' or 'were humorous'. Suggestion: fix word order, number agreement, and simplify the expression to 'they were humorous'.

× I like advertising that is made for global sports events because it, umm, it's uh, big.

✓ I like advertising that is made for global sports events because it's big.

Redundant subject repetition ('it, ... it's') — simplify to 'because it's big'. No change of tense, but remove filler redundancy. Suggestion: avoid repeating subject and filler words.

× It has a big budget for this and a lot of famous person, uh, participate in it and also it's, uh, kind of art.

✓ It has a big budget for this and a lot of famous people participate in it, and it's kind of art.

'a lot of famous person' incorrect — should be plural 'famous people'; 'participate' must agree with plural subject 'people' which is correct here; punctuation and fillers cleaned. Suggestion: use plural nouns when referring to multiple people and keep subject-verb agreement.

× Yes, I see advertisement quite often, especially when I watch videos on YouTube and it comes before the main part of the video and it's kind of sometimes annoying for me, but it's a consequence of ability of watching this video free, so I take it.

✓ Yes, I see advertisements quite often, especially when I watch videos on YouTube and they come before the main part of the video. They're sometimes kind of annoying for me, but it's a consequence of being able to watch the videos for free, so I put up with it.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' when speaking generally; 'it comes' -> 'they come' to match plural; word order 'kind of sometimes' -> 'sometimes kind of' or 'kind of sometimes' is awkward — 'they're sometimes kind of annoying' works; 'ability of watching this video free' is ungrammatical — use 'being able to watch the videos for free'; 'I take it' is informal and unclear — 'I put up with it' is idiomatic. Suggestion: use correct plural forms, match pronouns, and use natural idioms for tolerance and ability.