Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, clear topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and avoid redundant phrases. Use a linking word to connect your main idea and the example.

例: Yes. One advertisement that impressed me as a child was a cartoon commercial for a cereal brand. Because the ad featured a funny mascot and bright colors, I remember wanting the cereal; for example, the mascot sang a catchy song that made me ask my parents to buy it.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No) then explain why with one specific reason and an example. Reduce fillers (uh, um), use correct noun forms and verb agreement, and include a linking word to show cause.

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertising on trains and buses. Because these vehicles have many passengers, companies put posters and digital ads there to reach more people; for example, last month I saw a large poster for a new smartphone on the subway.

提案: Provide a direct opinion first (Yes/No) then explain with one or two concise reasons and an example. Avoid hesitations and repetition; use precise vocabulary (creative, entertaining, informative).

例: Yes, I like advertisements, especially creative ones. For example, a recent ad that used clever storytelling and humor made me smile and remember the brand because it felt original and entertaining.

提案: Answer directly (“I like…”) and give specific features you prefer (humor, storytelling, clear information). Provide one concrete example with a complete sentence. Avoid vague phrasing and incomplete sentences.

例: I prefer advertisements that make me think or laugh, such as those with a clever story or strong visuals. For example, last week I saw a car ad that used an emotional story about family trips, which made the car seem practical and appealing.

提案: Give a clear direct answer, then explain frequency and your feeling using linking words (because, for example). Reduce fillers and use correct collocations (see many ads, surf the Internet). Be specific about when or which ads annoy you.

例: Yes, I see advertisements very often on my phone and computer because many websites and apps show banners and pop-ups. For example, when I check my email, I frequently see promotional banners that I find annoying because they interrupt my task.

× Actually, yes Sir. And I think that the main purpose of advertisement is impact on children because children is easily affected by advertisement and still produce producers are focuses on advertisements such As for example.

✓ Actually, yes Sir. I think that the main purpose of advertising is to impact children because children are easily affected by advertisements, and producers still focus on advertising aimed at them, for example.

Errors: incorrect use of countable noun forms (advertisement/advertising), incorrect pronoun/number agreement (children is -> children are), awkward word order and redundant phrases. Suggest using 'advertising' as a general noun, 'children are' for plural subject-verb agreement, 'producers focus on advertising aimed at them' for clarity, and remove redundant words like 'such as' or 'for example' together.

× Actually, yes, uh, when, uh, I'm in a train or, uh, subways or, uh, other, uh, public, uh, transportation, uh, I see many of advertisements, uh, because I think that, uh, these places is a very good place for advertisement and many people can see the advertisement, for example.

✓ Actually, yes. When I'm on a train, subway or other public transportation, I see many advertisements because I think these places are very good for advertising and many people can see the ads, for example.

Errors: incorrect singular/plural forms and articles (in a train -> on a train, subways -> subway as parallel, many of advertisements -> many advertisements), subject-verb agreement (these places is -> these places are). Use 'on' with train/subway, use plural 'advertisements' and 'ads', and 'are' for plural subject.

× Actually, uh, I didn't think about this question, uh, but yes, I like advertisement and, uh, uh, creative that, uh, use in advertisement. I think that is very, uh, creative and, and, uh, and it's a good, uh, uh, for creator and new ideas, for example, uh, yes.

✓ Actually, I haven't thought about this question, but yes, I like advertisements and the creativity used in them. I think it is very creative and it's good for creators and new ideas, for example.

Errors: article and countable noun use (like advertisement -> like advertisements), tense (didn't think -> haven't thought to match present relevance), unclear phrase 'creative that use in advertisement' should be 'the creativity used in them'. Use singular 'it is' referring to 'creativity'. Use 'creators' plural. Remove filler words.

× Actually I like to advertise that attract me and make me to think about that production. For example, last week I thought it advertisement about 1 auto and it's very.

✓ Actually, I like advertisements that attract me and make me think about the product. For example, last week I saw an advertisement about a car and it was very effective.

Errors: incorrect verb forms and article use ('advertise that attract me' -> 'advertisements that attract me'; 'make me to think' -> 'make me think'); 'that production' should be 'the product'; 'I thought it advertisement' incorrect verb/past participle -> 'I saw an advertisement'; '1 auto' should be 'a car'; sentence fragment 'and it's very.' needs completion ('it was very effective').

× Actually, yes uh, always uh, when uh, I uh, in my phone or my computer or when I surf Internet uh, I see very advertisement and sometimes uh, it can be so boring and annoying because of a lot of uh, advertisement. For example, when I uh, check my mails.

✓ Actually, yes. Almost always when I use my phone or computer or surf the internet, I see a lot of advertisements, and sometimes they can be very boring and annoying because of so many ads. For example, when I check my email.

Errors: quantifier and article misuse ('very advertisement' -> 'a lot of advertisements'; 'a lot of advertisement' -> 'so many ads'), missing article before 'internet' ('the internet'), plural pronoun agreement ('they can be'), and 'mails' should be 'email'. Use 'almost always' instead of repetitive fillers.