Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains hesitations and redundancy. Try to give a clear, concise response with a topic sentence and supporting details, avoiding filler words and incomplete sentences.

例: Yes, one advertisement that impressed me as a child was for Maggie noodles. It showed how quickly you could cook and eat the noodles in just two minutes, which I found very appealing.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but has some grammatical errors and hesitations. Use linking words to connect ideas and be more specific about the types of advertisements and their impact.

例: Yes, I often see many advertisements inside trains and subway stations. Moreover, these ads change monthly and effectively inform passengers about upcoming events and promotions.

提案: Your answer is clear but contains repetition and minor errors. Try to use varied vocabulary and avoid repeating words. Also, combine sentences for better flow.

例: Not really. I dislike advertisements interrupting my YouTube searches or movies, especially when they pop up unexpectedly in the middle.

提案: Your answer is relevant but incomplete and has some repetition. Provide a complete response with clear examples and avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

例: I prefer informative advertisements, such as those in subway stations or trains that announce upcoming events or promotions. Additionally, promotional emails can be useful when they provide relevant information.

提案: Your answer has hesitations and unclear phrasing. Try to express your ideas clearly and avoid filler words. Also, explain your feelings about the advertisements more precisely.

例: Yes, I frequently see advertisements on my phone and computer. For instance, when I check my email, ads sometimes get mixed with important messages, which can be quite frustrating.

× Yes, there were lot many advertisements that made a good impression on me at that time.

✓ Yes, there were lots of advertisements that made a good impression on me at that time.

The phrase 'lot many' is incorrect. The correct plural quantifier is 'lots of' when referring to a large number of countable nouns like 'advertisements'.

× If I remember, there was an advertisement of Maggie in which what they showed was that they could, uh, cook Maki within two minutes and eat it.

✓ If I remember correctly, there was an advertisement for Maggie in which they showed that you could cook Maggie within two minutes and eat it.

The phrase 'If I remember' is incomplete; 'If I remember correctly' is more appropriate. Also, 'advertisement of Maggie' should be 'advertisement for Maggie' to indicate the product being advertised. 'Maki' is likely a typo for 'Maggie'. The sentence structure was improved for clarity.

× And I was that was something that I go. I was really.

✓ And that was something that I liked. I was really impressed.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. It lacks proper verb usage and sentence structure. The correction provides a clear and grammatically correct expression of the intended meaning.

× Yes, nowadays we could see a lot of advertisements inside the train as well as in subway stations, uh, and the other factors that it keep on changing from month to month and it is really informative in making us aware about the events that gonna happen.

✓ Yes, nowadays we can see a lot of advertisements inside the train as well as in subway stations, and the other factor is that they keep changing from month to month, and it is really informative in making us aware of the events that are going to happen.

The modal verb 'could' implies past ability; 'can' is correct for present ability. 'It keep' should be 'they keep' to agree with plural 'advertisements'. 'Gonna' is informal; 'are going to' is appropriate. Prepositions 'aware about' should be 'aware of'. Sentence structure was improved for clarity.

× Not really. I don't like seeing advertisements when I'm searching for an important topic in YouTube or if I'm watching a good movie.

✓ Not really. I don't like seeing advertisements when I'm searching for an important topic on YouTube or if I'm watching a good movie.

The correct preposition with 'YouTube' is 'on' not 'in'. 'Searching for a topic on YouTube' is the correct phrase.

× And I really hate when advertise advertisements pop up in in between.

✓ And I really hate when advertisements pop up in between.

The phrase 'advertise advertisements' is incorrect and redundant. The correct noun is 'advertisements'. Also, 'in in' is a repetition error. The phrase 'pop up in between' is acceptable but could be improved to 'pop up in the middle' for clarity.

× I like advertisements which are informative.

✓ I like advertisements that are informative.

While 'which' is not strictly incorrect, 'that' is preferred in restrictive clauses defining the noun 'advertisements'. This improves clarity and correctness.

× For example, if if there are some advertisements in the subway stations or in the trains that shows the upcoming events or promotions that going on, I really feel that those are helpful.

✓ For example, if there are some advertisements in the subway stations or in the trains that show the upcoming events or promotions that are going on, I really feel that those are helpful.

The verb 'shows' should be 'show' to agree with plural subject 'advertisements'. Also, 'that going on' is missing the verb 'are' to form the present continuous tense 'that are going on'.

× And the other example is sending promotions to e-mail or.

✓ Another example is sending promotions to e-mail or other platforms.

The sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly. Adding 'other platforms' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.

× Yes, I often see advertisements when I'm when I'm on my phone or computer.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements when I'm on my phone or computer.

The phrase 'when I'm when I'm' is a repetition error. Removing the duplicate improves sentence clarity.

× For example, whenever I'm working in my e-mail and whenever I'm searching for umm the in searching my inboxes.

✓ For example, whenever I'm working in my e-mail and searching through my inboxes.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains redundant phrases. Simplifying and combining the ideas improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× It frustrates me when it mixes up with important emails to the advertisement that I send.

✓ It frustrates me when advertisements mix up with important emails that I receive.

The pronoun 'it' is unclear and incorrectly used. 'Advertisements' is plural and should be the subject of 'mix up'. Also, 'that I send' is likely incorrect; the student probably means 'that I receive'. The preposition 'to' is incorrect here and removed.