Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer lacks grammatical accuracy and clarity. Use past tense consistently and provide a clear, direct response with specific details. Avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for natural flow.

例: When I was a child, I often saw various advertisements on TV. Since we didn't have cell phones back then, these ads usually promoted daily essentials during movie breaks.

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but fragmented. Use complete sentences and linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Provide specific examples and explain how these ads help you.

例: I have never been on a train, so I can't comment on that, but I often see advertisements on public buses. For example, ads for electronic gadgets catch my attention and help me learn about new products.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Express your opinion clearly with supporting reasons. Use linking words to organize your ideas logically and avoid incomplete sentences.

例: It depends on the situation. I don't mind watching ads on my electronic devices because they can be useful, but I find advertisements on public transport annoying, especially when the area is crowded and noisy.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more concise and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetitive phrases. Provide specific examples to enrich your response.

例: I enjoy advertisements for cosmetics and clothing because they keep me updated on fashion trends. For instance, I often learn about color matching, which helps me improve my appearance and style.

提案: Your answer has some hesitation and repetition. Try to speak more fluently and use linking words to connect ideas. Be specific about how the ads help you and avoid filler words.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my cellphone since I spend a lot of time on it. Sometimes, I also notice ads on my computer. These ads promote useful products that make my life more convenient, so I appreciate them.

× When I was a child, I often see different kinds of advertisements on TV.

✓ When I was a child, I often saw different kinds of advertisements on TV.

The sentence refers to a past time ('When I was a child'), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'See' is present tense; it should be changed to 'saw' to match the past context.

× As we didn't have any cell phone in that time when we were watching some movie, there are sometimes advertised some daily basic needs.

✓ As we didn't have any cell phones at that time when we were watching some movies, sometimes advertisements for daily basic needs were shown.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'cell phone' should be plural 'cell phones' to match the context (plural devices), 'in that time' should be 'at that time' (correct preposition), 'there are sometimes advertised some daily basic needs' is awkward and ungrammatical; it should be rephrased to 'sometimes advertisements for daily basic needs were shown' to correctly express the idea.

× Honestly, I've never been on a train so I don't have any experience, but I often see advertisements on the public bus.

✓ Honestly, I've never been on a train, so I don't have any experience, but I often see advertisements on public buses.

The sentence is mostly correct, but 'the public bus' should be plural 'public buses' to generalize the statement. Also, a comma is needed after 'train' to separate clauses properly.

× They advertise new products like. Electronic gadgets, they really help me to know more.

✓ They advertise new products like electronic gadgets; they really help me to learn more.

The original sentence is fragmented and incorrectly punctuated. 'Like.' should not be separated by a period. Also, 'know more' is better expressed as 'learn more' in this context. The two clauses should be connected properly with a semicolon or conjunction.

× It's really depends on what I am doing.

✓ It really depends on what I am doing.

The auxiliary verb 'does' is missing in the original sentence. 'It's really depends' is incorrect; it should be 'It really depends' without 'is'.

× It's OK to watch it as a promo when I'm using my electronic gadget, but when I see them on the public transport it's really annoying me.

✓ It's OK to watch it as a promo when I'm using my electronic gadget, but when I see them on public transport, they really annoy me.

The phrase 'it's really annoying me' is awkward; 'they really annoy me' is more natural. Also, 'public transport' does not need 'the' here. The adverb 'really' should be placed before the verb 'annoy'.

× Uh, with the crowded play that ads also make a noisy which make my.

✓ Uh, with the crowded place, those ads also make noise which bothers me.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains errors: 'crowded play' should be 'crowded place', 'that ads' should be 'those ads', 'make a noisy' is incorrect; it should be 'make noise', and the sentence ends abruptly. The corrected sentence completes the thought clearly.

× As a girl, I really like to see cosmetics and clothes as advertising because they help me to know more about the fashion style and sometimes I learn the color match from those advertising which will really enhance my appearance and how I wear.

✓ As a girl, I really like to see cosmetics and clothes advertisements because they help me learn more about fashion styles, and sometimes I learn color matching from those advertisements, which really enhances my appearance and how I dress.

'Cosmetics and clothes as advertising' is awkward; 'cosmetics and clothes advertisements' is clearer. 'Help me to know more' should be 'help me learn more'. 'Color match' should be 'color matching'. 'Those advertising' should be 'those advertisements'. 'How I wear' is incomplete; 'how I dress' is correct.

× Yes, I often see them on my cellphone as I spend more time on this, uh, but sometime I also see them on my computers.

✓ Yes, I often see them on my cellphone as I spend more time on it, uh, but sometimes I also see them on my computer.

'Sometime' should be 'sometimes' (adverb of frequency). 'Computers' should be singular 'computer' to match the singular 'my'. Also, 'on this' is better as 'on it' referring to the cellphone.

× Umm, they advertise, they promote some ad that really can help me to make my life more convenient.

✓ Umm, they advertise and promote some ads that really help me make my life more convenient.

The original sentence is awkward and redundant. 'They advertise, they promote' should be connected with 'and'. 'Some ad' should be plural 'some ads' to match the context. 'Really can help me to make' is better as 'really help me make' for conciseness.