Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer clearer and more natural by using correct grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'the lab was brought in passion on me' and 'in study'.

例: Yes, there was an advertisement that impressed me as a child. It was a commercial for a popular chocolate brand that featured colourful animations and catchy jingles. These elements really captured my attention and made me want to try the chocolate.

提案: Focus on clarity and coherence. Use correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain with specific details using linking words. Avoid confusing phrases like 'funds of public transport' and 'making them hard to mix'.

例: Yes, I often see a lot of advertisements on trains and other forms of public transport. For example, ads are usually placed on the walls and seats, which can sometimes make the space look cluttered.

提案: Make your answer more natural and structured. Start with a clear statement about your opinion, then support it with specific examples using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'commercial with human or like a community of a new grandma'.

例: Yes, I like advertisements, especially those that are creative and entertaining. For example, commercials featuring relatable characters or heartwarming stories tend to catch my attention and make the product more memorable.

提案: Improve clarity and coherence by using correct grammar and vocabulary. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. Avoid vague or confusing phrases like 'I very suspended' and 'has a lot of people who color'.

例: I like advertisements that have a strong storyline and feature diverse characters. These kinds of ads are more engaging and enjoyable to watch.

提案: Make your answer more natural by correcting grammar and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like 'I view this which can sometimes be distracting'.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer, especially on social media platforms and websites. Sometimes, these ads can be distracting when I'm trying to focus.

× Yes, I do really remember for my childhood the lab was brought in passion on me.

✓ Yes, I really remember that in my childhood the ad made a strong impression on me.

The phrase 'remember for my childhood' is incorrect; it should be 'remember that in my childhood'. Also, 'the lab was brought in passion on me' is unclear and incorrect; it should be 'the ad made a strong impression on me'. The prepositions 'for' and 'in' are misused here.

× Different characters, Jingle and colourful animation had captured my attention in study.

✓ Different characters, jingles, and colourful animation captured my attention during my studies.

The word 'Jingle' should be plural 'jingles' to match 'characters' and 'animation'. Also, 'in study' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'during my studies'. The sentence also had tense inconsistency; 'had captured' is past perfect but simple past 'captured' fits better here.

× Yes, I often notice considerable amount of advertising on trains and other funds of public transport.

✓ Yes, I often notice a considerable amount of advertising on trains and other forms of public transport.

The phrase 'considerable amount' requires the article 'a' before it. Also, 'funds' is incorrect; the correct word is 'forms' when referring to types of public transport.

× This act I usually playing on the wall on the seat, making them hard to mix.

✓ These ads are usually displayed on the walls and seats, making them hard to ignore.

The original sentence is unclear and uses incorrect prepositions. 'Playing on the wall on the seat' is incorrect; 'displayed on the walls and seats' is appropriate. Also, 'hard to mix' is incorrect; the intended meaning is likely 'hard to ignore' or 'hard to avoid'.

× If I do like advertisement, especially the process of creative and entertaining, for example, commercial with human or like a community of a new grandma, attention and make the product more memorable.

✓ Yes, I do like advertisements, especially those that are creative and entertaining, for example, commercials featuring people or communities like a new grandma, which attract attention and make the product more memorable.

The original sentence is fragmented and lacks proper structure. 'If I do like advertisement' is incorrect; it should be 'Yes, I do like advertisements'. The phrase 'process of creative and entertaining' is awkward; 'those that are creative and entertaining' is better. The rest of the sentence needed clarification and proper conjunctions.

× Yeah, I very suspended. I like it as, uh, the was the storyline and has a lot of people who color.

✓ Yeah, I am very interested. I like it because it has a good storyline and features many colorful characters.

'I very suspended' is incorrect; likely intended 'I am very interested'. 'The was the storyline' is incorrect; should be 'it has a good storyline'. 'People who color' is unclear; 'colorful characters' is more appropriate.

× Yes, I often see in my phone and computer often appears on social media platforms and websites.

✓ Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer; they often appear on social media platforms and websites.

The phrase 'see in my phone and computer' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on'. Also, the sentence was fragmented and needed to be connected properly.

× I view this which can sometimes be distracting.

✓ I find this can sometimes be distracting.

'I view this which can sometimes be distracting' is awkward. 'I find this can sometimes be distracting' is clearer and more natural. The adverb 'sometimes' is better placed before 'be distracting'.