Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is quite short and contains grammatical errors. Try to give a clear topic sentence and add specific details to make your answer more natural and effective. For example, mention why the advertisement impressed you and describe the actress or the product briefly.

例: Yes, there was an advertisement about a hair dryer that really impressed me when I was a child. The actress in the ad was very beautiful and elegant, which made the product seem very appealing. I remember thinking that using that hair dryer would make my hair look just as good.

提案: Your answer is unclear and fragmented. Try to respond directly with a complete sentence and provide specific details. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I see a lot of advertisements on trains, especially inside the carriages. Most of these ads are about magazines, which catch my attention during my commute.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. Try to express your opinion clearly and support it with reasons. Avoid redundancy and use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: Not really, because advertisements often make me want to buy things I don't need. Therefore, I prefer to avoid watching too many ads as they can be quite distracting.

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but could be improved by providing a more direct topic sentence and elaborating on why you like Apple's advertisements. Use linking words to connect your ideas.

例: To be honest, I don't have a strong preference for advertising in general. However, I enjoy watching Apple's advertisements because they are very stylish and creative, which makes them memorable.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and lacks clarity. Try to give a full response with specific details and use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: Actually, I see a lot of advertisements on both my phone and computer. However, I use my phone more often, especially when watching YouTube, so I encounter more ads there.

× Is there is The advertisement was about the hair dryer and the actress was so beautiful.

✓ There is an advertisement about the hair dryer and the actress was so beautiful.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'Is there is' which is redundant and ungrammatical. The correct form is 'There is' to indicate existence. Also, 'The advertisement' should be preceded by 'an' as it is being introduced for the first time.

× I see them more in in the. The train. But usually the advertisement is about the magazines.

✓ I see them more on the train. But usually the advertisements are about magazines.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly repeated and used; 'on the train' is the correct phrase to indicate location on transport. Also, 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match 'them' and 'magazines' does not need 'the' here.

× Not really, because sometimes it make a it make me want to buy. So for me I'd rather not dizzy. Advertisement.

✓ Not really, because sometimes it makes me want to buy. So for me, I'd rather not see dizzy advertisements.

The verb 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. The phrase 'a it make me' is incorrect and redundant. Also, 'dizzy advertisement' is unclear; likely intended 'dizzy advertisements' meaning confusing or overwhelming ads, and 'see' is needed as a verb.

× To be honest, there is no preference, but I am enjoying watching Apple's product because it's very stylish.

✓ To be honest, I have no preference, but I enjoy watching Apple's products because they're very stylish.

'There is no preference' is awkward; 'I have no preference' is clearer. 'I am enjoying watching' is better as 'I enjoy watching' for habitual action. 'Apple's product' should be plural 'products' to be natural.

× Actually I see a lot of advertisement on both, but I use phone more than computer and watching YouTube through my phone so I choose.

✓ Actually, I see a lot of advertisements on both, but I use my phone more than my computer and watch YouTube through my phone, so I choose it.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match 'a lot of'. 'Use phone' and 'computer' need possessive pronouns 'my'. 'Watching' should be 'watch' to maintain parallel verb structure. The sentence is incomplete without 'it' at the end.