Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 효과적이지만, 문법적 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 'ramen commercial' 앞에 관사를 넣고, 'chef background music' 대신 'background music featuring a chef'와 같이 더 명확하게 표현하세요. 또한, 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 사용해 보세요.

例: Yes, I remember a ramen commercial that featured background music with a chef, showing a dad cooking ramen for his family on weekends when I was a kid. Because of that, I often imitated the commercial and begged my dad to make ramen for me.

提案: 답변이 내용을 잘 전달하지만, 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 예를 들어, 'it advertisements'는 잘못된 표현이며, 'some advertisements'로 수정해야 합니다. 또한, 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 활용하고, 구체적인 예시를 더 추가하면 좋습니다.

例: Yes, of course, there are posters, screens, and stickers with advertisements on buses, subways, and even taxis. These ads often promote mobile apps, food delivery, and skin care products. Sometimes, some advertisements are so eye-catching that they help me pass the time during my commute.

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 명확하지만, 'some episodes' 대신 'short stories'나 'scenes'와 같은 더 적절한 단어를 사용하면 좋습니다. 또한, 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 활용해 보세요.

例: Yes, I especially enjoy watching creative and fun advertisements these days. For example, advertisements for cell phones and tablets often show short stories related to the products, which makes them very engaging.

提案: 답변에 문법적 오류와 어색한 표현이 많습니다. 'relatively strong' 대신 'impactful'을 사용하고, 예시 문장은 더 명확하게 다듬어야 합니다. 또한, 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 사용하고, 구체적인 설명을 추가하세요.

例: I like impactful advertisements that show memorable visuals in a short time. For example, Samsung's collaborative ads often tell a family story, and travel agency commercials usually feature beautiful mountains and wide open oceans to attract viewers.

提案: 답변이 불완전하고 어색한 부분이 있습니다. 'an essential' 대신 'essential parts'로 수정하고, 문장을 완성하여 명확하게 표현하세요. 또한, 불필요한 'uh'는 제거하고, 문장 연결을 위해 접속사를 사용하세요.

例: Yes, I see advertisements every day on my phone and computer because both devices are essential parts of my daily life. Therefore, whenever I use or browse apps, I often encounter various ads.

× Yes, I remember ramen commercial with chef background music and a dad cooking ramen for his family on the weekends when I was a kid.

✓ Yes, I remember a ramen commercial with chef background music and a dad cooking ramen for his family on the weekends when I was a kid.

The noun 'commercial' is singular and requires an article 'a' before it to be grammatically correct. In English, singular countable nouns must be preceded by an article or determiner.

× Sometimes it advertisements are eye-catching enough to pass time.

✓ Sometimes advertisements are eye-catching enough to pass the time.

The sentence has an incorrect word order and unnecessary pronoun 'it'. The correct structure omits 'it' and adds the definite article 'the' before 'time' to specify the time being passed.

× I like advertisements that are relatively strong, will show memorable visuals in a short period of time.

✓ I like advertisements that are relatively strong and show memorable visuals in a short period of time.

The original sentence incorrectly connects two clauses without a conjunction. Adding 'and' properly connects the two ideas, making the sentence grammatically correct.

× For example, like Samsung's cooperating ads that tell a family history or travel agency commerce they should cool mountains and wide open oceans.

✓ For example, Samsung's cooperative ads tell a family history, or travel agency commercials show cool mountains and wide open oceans.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Cooperating ads' should be 'cooperative ads', and 'commerce' should be 'commercials'. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Yes, I can see advertisements every day on my phone or computer because, uh, both electronic devices are an essential of my daily life.

✓ Yes, I can see advertisements every day on my phone or computer because, uh, both electronic devices are essential to my daily life.

The phrase 'an essential of' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'essential to' when indicating something necessary for something else.