Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear but can be more natural and concise. Avoid repeating words like 'especially' and try to use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary to express your feelings.

例: Yes, there was an advertisement about hospitals that impressed me deeply because I wanted to become a doctor. It made me imagine myself working there, which inspired me a lot.

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be improved by using linking words and more specific vocabulary. Instead of 'get into the car,' you can say 'board the vehicle.' Also, try to avoid short, choppy sentences by combining ideas.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on public transport. For instance, herbal medicine sellers usually board the vehicle and promote their ointments and medicines to passengers.

提案: Your answer expresses your opinion well but needs better structure and vocabulary. Avoid repeating 'just' and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, 'keeps you in suspects' is unclear; try to use clearer expressions.

例: Honestly, I don't like advertisements because they disrupt my peace of mind. For example, when I'm watching a movie, sudden ads pop up and spoil the mood, making me feel annoyed since the movie hasn't finished yet.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but needs clearer expression and better vocabulary. Avoid repeating 'advertise advertisements' and use correct phrases like 'advertisements about.' Also, use linking words to make your answer flow better.

例: I like advertisements about food, cosmetics, and clothing, especially those from boutiques. They are fascinating and eye-catching, which makes me enjoy watching them.

提案: Your answer is relevant but can be more concise and natural. Avoid repeating 'advertisements usually pop up' and use linking words to connect your ideas. Also, try to use plural form 'advertisements' consistently.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone, especially when watching movies on YouTube or playing my favourite game, Talking Angela. These ads usually appear during these activities.

× So I'll memorize it and they make me feel like I am the doctor of that hospital.

✓ So I memorized it and it made me feel like I was the doctor of that hospital.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'memorize' and 'make' in the present tense when referring to a past event. The verbs should be in the past tense to match the time frame of the memory. 'Memorize' should be 'memorized' and 'make' should be 'made'. Also, 'they' is unclear and should be replaced with 'it' referring to the advertisement.

× Whenever I board a public transport, there are some herbal medicine doctors that get into the car and advertise their products.

✓ Whenever I board public transport, some herbal medicine doctors get into the car and advertise their products.

The phrase 'there are some herbal medicine doctors that get into the car' is awkward. Since 'some herbal medicine doctors' is the subject, 'there are' is unnecessary. Also, 'public transport' is uncountable and does not need 'a'.

× Honestly, I don't like advertisements because it disrupts my Peace of Mind.

✓ Honestly, I don't like advertisements because they disrupt my peace of mind.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrect because 'advertisements' is plural, so 'they' should be used. Also, 'Peace of Mind' should not be capitalized as it is a common noun phrase.

× Especially when you are watching a movie and all of a sudden an advertisement just pops up and just pulls your mood.

✓ Especially when you are watching a movie and all of a sudden an advertisement just pops up and just ruins your mood.

The phrase 'pulls your mood' is incorrect. The correct expression is 'ruins your mood' or 'spoils your mood' to convey the intended meaning.

× It just keeps you in suspects because the movie is not yet ended and the advertisement just interrupted him.

✓ It just keeps you in suspense because the movie has not ended yet and the advertisement just interrupted it.

'Keeps you in suspects' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'keeps you in suspense'. Also, 'the movie is not yet ended' should be 'the movie has not ended yet'. The pronoun 'him' incorrectly refers to the advertisement; it should be 'it'.

× I like advertise advertisements on food, cosmetics, dresses, especially boutiques.

✓ I like advertisements about food, cosmetics, dresses, especially from boutiques.

The phrase 'I like advertise advertisements' is incorrect. It should be 'I like advertisements'. Also, 'on' is not the best preposition here; 'about' or 'for' is better. 'Especially boutiques' needs clarification, so 'from boutiques' is clearer.

× It's fascinating, it's eye catchy.

✓ They're fascinating; they're eye-catching.

'It's' refers to singular, but the subject is plural 'advertisements', so 'They're' is correct. 'Eye catchy' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'eye-catching'.

× Advertisement usually pop up when I'm using my phone, especially when I'm watching a movie on YouTube or I'm playing my Talking Angela game.

✓ Advertisements usually pop up when I'm using my phone, especially when I'm watching a movie on YouTube or playing my Talking Angela game.

'Advertisement' is singular but the verb 'pop up' is plural, so 'Advertisements' should be plural to agree with the verb. Also, 'I'm playing' is fine but can be simplified to 'playing' for parallelism.