Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors that affect naturalness and clarity. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and aim for coherence.

例: Yes, I remember an advertisement about healthcare for older people that made a strong impression on me during my childhood because it showed how important it is to take care of the elderly.

提案: Your answer is generally relevant but contains some awkward phrasing like 'very concealing'. Use more appropriate vocabulary and linking words to improve coherence and naturalness.

例: Yes, I often see many advertisements in places like subway stations because companies believe it's an effective way to promote their products to commuters.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains filler words that reduce effectiveness. Try to express your opinion clearly with specific reasons and avoid unnecessary hesitation.

例: I don't like advertisements very much because they appear everywhere, which I find quite overwhelming and sometimes embarrassing.

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but could be improved by using linking words and more varied vocabulary to make it more natural and engaging.

例: I particularly like advertisements about cars because I enjoy following the latest news and models, so these ads keep me informed and interested.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains many hesitations and incomplete sentences. Try to answer directly with clear sentences, use linking words, and avoid filler words to improve fluency and coherence.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on my phone and computer, especially before watching films online, as these ads help companies promote their products.

× one that's that made in me, on me strong impression was about the healthcare

✓ one that made a strong impression on me was about healthcare

The phrase 'that's that made in me, on me strong impression' is incorrect. The correct form is 'one that made a strong impression on me'. 'Made' is the past participle used here correctly, but the prepositions and word order were wrong. 'Made a strong impression on me' is the standard expression.

× one that's that made in me, on me strong impression was about the healthcare

✓ one that made a strong impression on me was about healthcare

The prepositions 'in me' and 'on me' are incorrectly used together. The correct preposition is 'on' in the phrase 'made a strong impression on me'.

× especially in subway stations

✓ especially at subway stations

The preposition 'in' is less appropriate here; 'at subway stations' is the correct usage when referring to locations like stations.

× When I use trains, I see lots of advertisements because companies believe that it would promote their product and it's the easiest way.

✓ When I use trains, I see lots of advertisements because companies believe that they would promote their products and it's the easiest way.

The pronoun 'it' is incorrectly used to refer to 'advertisements' and 'product'. 'Advertisements' and 'products' are plural, so 'they' and 'products' should be used.

× seeing everywhere lots of different advertisements about the variety of activities is not good.

✓ seeing lots of different advertisements about a variety of activities everywhere is not good.

The phrase 'the variety of activities' is incorrect here; 'a variety of activities' is the correct quantifier. Also, 'everywhere' is better placed at the end for clarity.

× one that I really appreciate is about cars because I really enjoy seeing advertisement about cars and following the news about them.

✓ one that I really appreciate is about cars because I really enjoy seeing advertisements about cars and following the news about them.

The word 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' because it refers to multiple ads. Also, no article is needed before 'advertisements' in this context.

× especially when I'm going to watch some kind of film.

✓ especially when I'm going to watch some kind of film.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no correction needed.

× so advertisements that bumps up because they need to provide the advertisement to.

✓ so advertisements pop up because they need to provide the advertisement.

The phrase 'advertisements that bumps up' is incorrect; 'advertisements pop up' is correct. Also, 'provide the advertisement to' is incomplete and unclear, so it is better to end the sentence at 'provide the advertisement' or clarify the object.