Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang jelas dan agak berulang. Cobalah untuk memberikan jawaban yang lebih terstruktur dengan kalimat topik yang jelas dan detail spesifik tentang iklan tersebut. Hindari pengulangan kata dan gunakan kalimat yang lebih alami.

例: Yes, one advertisement that impressed me as a child was for Indo Mie instant noodles in Indonesia. I liked it because the commercial was charming and memorable, featuring catchy music and colorful visuals that made the product appealing.

提案: Jawaban Anda agak bertele-tele dan kurang terstruktur. Cobalah untuk menjawab langsung dengan kalimat yang jelas dan gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

例: Yes, I see many advertisements on public transport like buses, trains, and monorails. They are usually displayed on the walls inside the vehicles, which makes them very noticeable to passengers.

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang lengkap dan kalimatnya tidak selesai dengan baik. Cobalah untuk memberikan pendapat yang jelas dan lengkap dengan alasan yang spesifik serta gunakan kalimat yang lebih lancar.

例: I have mixed feelings about advertisements. Sometimes I like them, especially if they are interesting or informative, but other times, like ads on social media, I find them boring and annoying.

提案: Jawaban Anda cukup baik tapi ada beberapa kesalahan tata bahasa dan pengulangan kata. Cobalah untuk menggunakan kalimat yang lebih jelas dan lancar serta perhatikan tata bahasa dan penggunaan kata yang tepat.

例: I like travel advertisements because they provide useful information when planning a trip. For example, they often show promotions for flights and accommodations, which can help me save money.

提案: Jawaban Anda kurang terstruktur dan tidak selesai dengan baik. Cobalah untuk memberikan jawaban yang lengkap dengan kalimat yang jelas dan hindari pengulangan kata serta gunakan kata penghubung untuk membuat jawaban lebih koheren.

例: Yes, I often see many advertisements on my phone and computer, especially on social media and when I use Google. However, some of these ads can be quite annoying because they pop up frequently.

× I what what I like the most is the charming 1.

✓ What I like the most is the charming one.

The word '1' is incorrect here; it should be 'one' to refer to a singular item. Also, the repeated 'what' is unnecessary and should be removed for clarity.

× almost all public transportations such as bus, train and monorail have a lot of advertisement

✓ almost all public transportation such as buses, trains and monorails have a lot of advertisements

The word 'transportations' is uncountable and should be 'transportation'. Also, 'bus', 'train', and 'monorail' should be plural to match 'all'. 'Advertisement' should be plural as it refers to multiple ads.

× especially in their, in their wall in, in the, in, in the vehicle wall and sometimes.

✓ especially on their walls, in the vehicle, and sometimes elsewhere.

The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used with 'wall'; 'on' is correct. The sentence is also repetitive and unclear; rephrasing improves clarity.

× when we say, when we, when we seen an advertisement in a social media, it's kind of boring

✓ when we see an advertisement on social media, it's kind of boring

The verb 'seen' is incorrect here; it should be 'see' to match the present tense. Also, the preposition 'in' should be 'on' when referring to social media.

× advertisement in public transportations.

✓ advertisements in public transportation.

'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match the context. 'Transportations' is incorrect; 'transportation' is uncountable and singular.

× The travel one, because sometimes it really useful for our, for, for our, uh, for our, let me think, sometimes it's very useful if we are in a time in planning a trip, it's give us a lot of informations about the promotion of certain flights and the promotion of certain accommodation.

✓ The travel one, because sometimes it is really useful for us. Sometimes it's very useful when we are planning a trip; it gives us a lot of information about promotions for certain flights and accommodations.

Missing verb 'is' after 'it'. 'It's give' should be 'it gives' to agree with singular subject. 'Informations' is incorrect; 'information' is uncountable. 'Accommodation' should be plural 'accommodations' to match context.

× it's give us a lot of informations about the promotion of certain flights and the promotion of certain accommodation.

✓ it gives us a lot of information about promotions for certain flights and accommodations.

The modal verb 'give' is incorrectly used; it should be 'gives' to agree with the singular subject 'it'. Also, 'informations' is incorrect; 'information' is uncountable.

× popping up in my social media, uh, in my phone, in my laptop, in my computer, uh, it always when I'm opening the Google, they will show some advertisement about, but sometimes it kind of annoying advertisement like uh.

✓ popping up on my social media, on my phone, on my laptop, on my computer. Whenever I open Google, it always shows some advertisements, but sometimes they are kind of annoying.

Preposition 'in' should be 'on' for devices and platforms. 'Advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match context. 'It always when I'm opening' is incorrect; corrected to 'Whenever I open'. Subject-verb agreement corrected from 'they will show' to 'it always shows' and 'they are' for plural ads.