Advertisement— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınızda dilbilgisi hataları ve anlam belirsizlikleri var. Daha doğal ve etkili olmak için, soruya doğrudan cevap verip, neden etkilendiğinizi açık ve net cümlelerle belirtmelisiniz. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi 5 cümleyi geçmeyecek şekilde tutmalısınız.

例: Yes, there was an advertisement that impressed me as a child. It was very colorful and featured bright shoes. The visuals caught my attention and made me remember the brand easily. Because of this, I developed a positive view of the brand. This advertisement influenced my preferences when choosing shoes.

提案: Cevabınızda çok fazla duraklama ve belirsizlik var. Daha akıcı ve net olmak için, doğrudan soruya cevap verip, gördüğünüz reklam türlerini açıkça belirtmelisiniz. Bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi daha tutarlı yapabilirsiniz.

例: Yes, I often see advertisements on trains and other transport. Many of them are animated and promote government ministries or political campaigns. These ads provide important information to passengers. Sometimes, there are also commercial advertisements for products. Overall, advertising is quite common in public transport.

提案: Cevabınızda fikirlerinizi daha açık ve doğru ifade etmelisiniz. Ayrıca, cümle yapılarınızı geliştirmeli ve gereksiz tekrarları önlemelisiniz. Bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi daha anlamlı hale getirebilirsiniz.

例: Yes, I like advertisements because they help me decide what to buy. They provide detailed information about products, such as features and prices. Also, advertisements often include websites where I can learn more. This makes shopping easier and more convenient for me.

提案: Cevabınızda gereksiz duraklamalar ve tekrarlar var. Daha doğal ve etkili olmak için, doğrudan soruya cevap verip, neden bu tür reklamları sevdiğinizi açıkça belirtmelisiniz. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi bağlaçlarla bağlayarak akıcılığı artırabilirsiniz.

例: I prefer advertisements released by government ministries, especially the Ministry of Health. These ads provide valuable information about public health issues. They help people learn how to stay healthy and prevent diseases. Therefore, I find them very useful and trustworthy.

× Yes, I influenced by them and and because very bright and gorgeous brands can access your brain, your your views about this brand and this this shoes.

✓ Yes, I was influenced by them because very bright and gorgeous brands can access your brain, your views about this brand and these shoes.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'and and because' which is redundant and incorrect conjunction usage. Also, 'I influenced by them' lacks the auxiliary verb 'was' to form the passive voice. 'This this shoes' should be corrected to 'these shoes' to match plural form. Suggestions: remove redundant conjunctions, add auxiliary verb for passive voice, and use correct demonstrative pronoun for plural nouns.

× I'm not sure, but nowadays, uh, uh, I can, uh, see this type of, uh, animations, uh, animation advertisements, uh, something about ministry and, uh, political things, uh, on the other hand, this topics.

✓ I'm not sure, but nowadays, I can see this type of animation advertisements about the ministry and political things; on the other hand, these topics.

The phrase 'something about ministry and political things' lacks the definite article 'the' before 'ministry'. Also, 'this topics' is incorrect because 'topics' is plural and should be preceded by 'these'. Suggestions: use 'the' before specific nouns and use correct demonstrative pronouns matching number.

× Yes, I like advertisements because I can choose my way to shop them to shop items. Advertisements has a variety of information about their products and you can search with Http://orother.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements because I can choose my way to shop for items. Advertisements have a variety of information about their products and you can search with Http:// or other.

The verb 'has' does not agree with the plural subject 'Advertisements'; it should be 'have'. Also, 'shop them to shop items' is awkward; 'shop for items' is the correct phrase. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement and use correct verb-preposition combinations.

× Yes, I like advertisements because I can choose my way to shop them to shop items. Advertisements has a variety of information about their products and you can search with Http://orother.

✓ Yes, I like advertisements because I can choose my way to shop for items. Advertisements have a variety of information about their products and you can search with Http:// or other.

The phrase 'shop them to shop items' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'shop for items'. Also, 'search with Http://' is awkward; better to say 'search on Http://' or 'search using Http://'. Suggestions: use correct prepositions with verbs and clarify phrases.

× I like advertisements, uh, which is released by ministry, uh, especially Minister of Health, uh, because, uh, they have, uh, a lot of, uh, information about, uh, our public health and you can learn.

✓ I like advertisements which are released by the ministry, especially the Minister of Health, because they have a lot of information about our public health and you can learn.

The relative pronoun 'which' refers to 'advertisements' (plural), so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. Also, 'ministry' and 'Minister of Health' need the definite article 'the'. Suggestions: match verb number with pronoun antecedent and use articles with specific nouns.