Computers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Good direct response and clear reasons. To improve, make the answer slightly more concise, use a clear topic sentence, and add one specific example to support your point. Also use a linking phrase (e.g., "for example" or "moreover") to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually use a computer for tasks that need a larger screen and specialized software. For example, when I prepare presentations or write long assignments, it's easier to edit slides and run PowerPoint on a laptop. Moreover, for everyday tasks like checking messages and social media, I prefer my smartphone because it's more portable.

提案: Strong personal narrative with relevant details and natural language. To maximize score, start with a concise topic sentence and avoid repeating similar ideas; add one brief reflective comment linking past experience to present use.

例: The first time I used a computer was when I was about five years old visiting my aunt. She taught me simple games, and I found it fascinating, so I became interested in computers early on. That early experience partly explains why I now use computers frequently for study and entertainment.

提案: Clear and relevant answer with reasons. Improve by using a clear opening sentence, adding a specific example (e.g., a course task), and linking consequences (e.g., "so" or "therefore"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences for conciseness.

例: Life would be much harder without a computer because I rely on it for coursework and preparing presentations. For example, writing research reports and editing slides would take longer on a phone, so I would be less efficient and have less comfortable ways to stream shows for relaxation.

提案: Good, direct answer with logical reason. To improve, add a brief example of a specific situation (e.g., commuting) and use a linking word (e.g., "for instance") to make the response more vivid and coherent.

例: It’s difficult to use a computer when I need to message my parents or friends because a laptop isn't very portable. For instance, when I'm commuting or walking between classes, I prefer my smartphone since it's more convenient and handy for quick messages.

× I usually use a computer because it's easier to edit slides and run software like PowerPoint.

✓ I usually use a computer because it is easier to edit slides and run software such as PowerPoint.

Replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' if desired for formality; however this is optional. No grammatical error with present participle; sentence is correct. Suggestion: use 'such as' instead of 'like' for formal contexts.

× I was about 5 years old and visiting my aunt.

✓ I was about 5 years old and was visiting my aunt.

The clause 'visiting my aunt' lacks an auxiliary verb to match the past tense 'was'. Add 'was' to form a parallel past continuous structure: 'was visiting'.

× She introduced me to some simple games and showed me how to play.

✓ She introduced me to some simple games and showed me how to play them.

Add object 'them' to clarify what 'how to play' refers to. The past tense verbs are correct; the omission can cause ambiguity.

× It felt fascinating and I was hooked from that moment.

✓ It felt fascinating, and I was hooked from that moment.

Add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. Tenses are consistent (past simple); punctuation improves clarity.

× If I didn't have a computer, life would be much harder because I rely on it for most of my coursework and for preparing presentations.

✓ If I didn't have a computer, life would be much harder because I rely on one for most of my coursework and for preparing presentations.

Use 'one' to avoid repeating 'computer' and improve style; conditional structure is correct (second conditional) because it discusses an unreal present situation.

× I also use it to stream TV shows and short videos for relaxation, since the larger screen makes watching more comfortable than on my phone.

✓ I also use it to stream TV shows and short videos for relaxation, since the larger screen makes watching more comfortable than watching on my phone.

Complete the comparison by repeating the verb 'watching' after 'than' or use 'than on my phone' only if the noun is explicit. Repeating the verb avoids ambiguity.

× I find it difficult to use a computer when I need to message my parents or friends because a laptop is not very portable.

✓ I find it difficult to use a computer when I need to message my parents or friends because a laptop is not very portable.

Sentence is grammatically correct; 'very portable' is acceptable though 'not very portable' is slightly informal. No change necessary.

× I prefer using my smartphone for messaging since it's more convenient and handy when I'm on the go.

✓ I prefer using my smartphone for messaging since it is more convenient and handy when I am on the go.

Contractions are acceptable in speech. For written correctness, expand contractions and ensure consistency: 'it is' and 'I am'. The sentence structure and conjunction 'since' are used correctly.