Computers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise by starting with a clear topic sentence, using correct articles and prepositions, and adding one specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I use a computer every day for both work and study. For example, at work I use it to write reports and keep records, and at university I use it to research topics and submit assignments online. Because of this, a computer is essential for managing my daily tasks.

提案: Give a single clear sentence stating when you first used a computer, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid sentence fragments and improve fluency by linking ideas with words like "when" or "because."

例: I first used a computer when I was in junior high school, during a computer class at school. At that lesson we learned basic typing and simple programs, which really sparked my interest in technology.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence about the impact, then give a specific reason and one example of how tasks would be affected. Correct grammar (use 'couldn't' or 'wouldn't be able to') and keep it natural.

例: My life would be much harder without a computer because I wouldn't be able to complete many of my work and study tasks. For instance, I could not access online materials, submit assignments, or communicate with colleagues and classmates efficiently.

提案: Provide one clear condition and one specific reason, using correct phrasing and linking words. Avoid broken sentences and add a short example of the problem and a possible solution or consequence.

例: It is difficult for me to use a computer when I'm outside because I often don't have power or a stable internet connection. For example, on long trips my laptop battery runs out and I can't finish online tasks unless I have a portable charger or find a café with power outlets.

× I use computer every day, mostly for my work and study both.

✓ I use a computer every day, mostly for both my work and my studies.

Missing articles and plural form: 'computer' requires the singular count noun article 'a'. 'study' used as an uncountable noun here should be plural 'studies' to match 'work' when referring to school assignments. Also word order 'both my work and my studies' is more natural. Suggestion: Add appropriate articles for countable nouns and use plural when referring to repeated academic tasks (studies).

× There are many assignments I need to deal with computer.

✓ There are many assignments I need to deal with on the computer.

Missing preposition: the verb phrase 'deal with' requires a prepositional phrase to indicate the tool or location. Use 'on the computer' to show that the assignments are handled using the computer. Also add the definite article 'the' for a specific device in context. Suggestion: Use 'on the computer' or 'using a computer' to show how assignments are done.

× The first time I used computer. Was when I was at. Junior high school.

✓ The first time I used a computer was when I was in junior high school.

Fragmentation and missing articles: The original has sentence fragments and lacks the article 'a' before 'computer'. Also use 'in junior high school' as the correct preposition and avoid splitting the clause. Combine into one complete sentence with subject and verb. Suggestion: Keep clauses together and include necessary articles and prepositions.

× There was a computer lesson in my class.

✓ There was a computer lesson in my class.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'In my class' properly indicates location of the lesson. No change needed. Suggestion: None.

× I will cannot work and study properly if I don't have a computer because my work and study both rely heavily on computer.

✓ I will not be able to work and study properly if I don't have a computer because my work and studies both rely heavily on the computer.

Incorrect combination of modal and auxiliary: 'will cannot' is ungrammatical. Use 'will not be able to' or 'cannot' alone. Also 'study' should be plural 'studies' and 'the computer' requires article. Maintain future meaning with 'will not be able to' to match conditional. Suggestion: Use 'will not be able to' for future ability in conditional sentences; ensure articles and plurals are correct.

× When I am outside, it is difficult to me. For to use a computer because I don't have the charge and.

✓ When I am outside, it is difficult for me to use a computer because I don't have a charge.

Preposition and word order errors: 'difficult to me' should be 'difficult for me'. The infinitive order is 'difficult for me to use'. 'Don't have the charge' is awkward; better 'don't have a charge' meaning battery charge. Remove trailing conjunction 'and'. Suggestion: Use 'difficult for me to [verb]' and say 'a charge' or 'battery power' for clarity.