Computers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and concise by avoiding redundancy and filler words. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and provide specific examples. For instance, instead of repeating 'then', say 'for example' once and avoid filler sounds like 'uh'.

例: I use a computer in various situations. For example, I conduct research for my studies, play video games for entertainment, and video call my family to stay connected.

提案: Focus on structuring your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve grammar for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

例: I first used a computer when I was in 10th grade. My father gave me one as a birthday gift to help me with my studies.

提案: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and clearer sentence structures. Avoid vague phrases and be more specific about how life would be affected without a computer.

例: Life without a computer would be challenging because we rely on technology for many tasks. For example, communication, work, and entertainment would become more difficult.

提案: Avoid repetition and filler words to make your answer clearer. Use linking words to contrast ideas and provide specific conditions. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

例: It would be difficult to use a computer if someone lacks knowledge or training. However, with proper experience and skills, using a computer becomes much easier.

× There are numerous conditions when I do like to use computer.

✓ There are numerous conditions when I do like to use a computer.

The noun 'computer' requires the indefinite article 'a' when used in a general sense. Omitting the article is incorrect in English grammar.

× For example, if I want to some research then then I prefer to work on computer.

✓ For example, if I want to do some research then I prefer to work on a computer.

The verb 'want to' should be followed by the base form of the verb 'do' to form 'want to do'. Also, 'computer' needs the article 'a' here. Additionally, the repeated word 'then' is a typographical error and should be removed.

× Moreover, if I want to play video games or to communicate with my family, uh, I prefer to video call on the computer.

✓ Moreover, if I want to play video games or communicate with my family, I prefer to video call on the computer.

The phrase 'to communicate' should be parallel with 'play' without the extra 'to' for correct parallel structure. Also, 'video call on the computer' is acceptable but could be improved by saying 'make video calls on the computer' for clarity.

× I clearly remember the time when I first time use computer, it was the period of my 10th grade and my father gave me a gift on my 10th birthday and so that, uh, it could help me for the study.

✓ I clearly remember the time when I first used a computer; it was during my 10th grade, and my father gave me a gift on my 10th birthday so that it could help me with my studies.

The phrase 'first time use' is incorrect; it should be 'first used' to indicate past tense. 'Use' must be in past tense 'used' to match the past event. Also, 'a computer' requires the article 'a'. 'During my 10th grade' is more natural than 'the period of my 10th grade'. 'Help me for the study' should be 'help me with my studies' for correct preposition and plural form.

× I think computer in terms of technology play a crucial role in everyone life.

✓ I think computers, in terms of technology, play a crucial role in everyone's life.

'Computer' should be plural 'computers' to refer generally. 'Everyone life' should be 'everyone's life' to show possession. Also, commas are added for clarity.

× So nowadays we mostly dependent on this.

✓ So nowadays we mostly depend on this.

The verb 'dependent' is an adjective; the correct verb form is 'depend' to match the present tense and subject 'we'.

× But whatever the task we want to do for our first preference is always a technology.

✓ But whatever the task we want to do, our first preference is always technology.

The sentence is awkward and missing commas. 'For our first preference' is incorrect; it should be 'our first preference'. Also, 'a technology' is incorrect; 'technology' is uncountable here.

× I mean it's computers.

✓ I mean it's computers that we use.

The sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'that we use' clarifies the meaning and corrects the pronoun reference.

× I think if you are unaware of how to use a technology, then maybe, uh, it, it, it, it is difficult for you to use it.

✓ I think if you are unaware of how to use technology, then maybe it is difficult for you to use it.

'A technology' is incorrect; 'technology' is uncountable and does not need an article here. The repeated 'it' is a filler and should be removed for clarity.

× However, uh, if you are trained and expert in that field, then obviously you will not face any obstacle to use and yeah.

✓ However, if you are trained and an expert in that field, then obviously you will not face any obstacle in using it.

The phrase 'trained and expert' needs the article 'an' before 'expert'. 'Obstacle to use' is incorrect; it should be 'obstacle in using it' for proper preposition and gerund use.