Computers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant but contains some grammatical errors and unclear phrases, such as "worst information" which seems incorrect. Try to use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Also, avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually use computers at work because they make it easy to communicate with my colleagues and share important information. Additionally, I rely on computers for complex tasks like video editing and creating charts, which require strong processing power. Therefore, computers are very useful in my daily work.

提案: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear expressions, such as "as Annie's updated information that." Try to structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Use specific vocabulary and avoid repetition.

例: The first time I used a computer was at university. I used it mainly to write and save my assignments, which made editing very convenient. Besides that, I often browsed the internet to quickly access updated information for my studies.

提案: Your answer conveys your ideas but has some grammar errors and repetition. Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid repeating words. Also, use more precise vocabulary to express your feelings and reasons clearly.

例: Without a computer, I think I would feel isolated because I couldn't access updated information from around the world. Moreover, I would find it difficult to communicate with my colleagues who work remotely or abroad, which would make me feel less useful.

提案: Your answer includes relevant points but has grammar mistakes and some unclear phrasing. Try to organize your ideas clearly using linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. Also, correct grammar and use precise vocabulary to improve clarity.

例: It is difficult for me to use a computer when there is no proper desk or chair, so I have to place my laptop on my lap. Secondly, I am not used to typing on the keyboard without a mouse to help control errors. Finally, if the screen is too small, it strains my eyes easily.

× I also use computers to do some complicated task that's require processing power, such as video editing or charting, so computers is very useful.

✓ I also use computers to do some complicated tasks that require processing power, such as video editing or charting, so computers are very useful.

The noun 'task' should be plural 'tasks' to match the plural verb 'require'. Also, 'computers' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. This is a subject-verb agreement error. In English, plural subjects require plural verbs.

× First time I use computers when I was at university.

✓ The first time I used computers was when I was at university.

The sentence refers to a past event, so the verb should be in the past tense 'used'. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding 'The' at the beginning and 'was' to link the clause properly.

× I use the computers to complete my papers easily because it's very convenient to save the papers and makes changes whenever I want.

✓ I used computers to complete my papers easily because it was very convenient to save the papers and make changes whenever I wanted.

Since the context is past (university time), verbs should be in past tense: 'used', 'was', 'make' should be 'make' (after 'to' is base form), and 'wanted'. Also, 'makes' should be 'make' because after 'to' the verb is base form.

× I also use computers to browse any information it's offers me in quick access to as Annie's updated information that.

✓ I also use computers to browse any information they offer me with quick access to the latest updated information.

The original sentence is unclear and ungrammatical. 'It's offers' is incorrect; 'they offer' matches plural 'computers'. 'In quick access to as Annie's updated information that' is confusing; corrected to 'with quick access to the latest updated information' for clarity and correctness.

× I I thinks I would feel isolated because I have no access to to reach out the updated information around the world and I also feels I am quite useless because I cannot communicate with my colleagues who were abroad or remotely.

✓ I think I would feel isolated because I have no access to reach the updated information around the world and I also feel I am quite useless because I cannot communicate with my colleagues who are abroad or working remotely.

'Thinks' should be 'think' to agree with subject 'I'. 'Feels' should be 'feel'. 'To to reach out' has repeated 'to' and 'reach out' is better as 'reach'. 'Who were abroad or remotely' should be 'who are abroad or working remotely' to maintain present tense and clarity.

× I think it's difficult to use computers when there is no proper desk or chair and then I can only put my laptop on my laps.

✓ I think it's difficult to use computers when there is no proper desk or chair and I can only put my laptop on my lap.

The correct preposition is 'on my lap' (singular), not 'on my laps'. 'Lap' refers to the area between the waist and knees when sitting.

× On the other hand, I I'm not quite get used to use the computer keyboards to control the errors if I do not have a mouse to control it.

✓ On the other hand, I'm not quite used to using the computer keyboard to correct errors if I do not have a mouse to control it.

The phrase 'not quite get used to use' is incorrect. The correct form is 'not quite used to using'. Also, 'computer keyboards' should be singular 'computer keyboard' if referring generally, and 'to control the errors' is better as 'to correct errors' for clarity.

× Last but not the least, if the screen that is too small I also I think that would easily strain my eye.

✓ Last but not least, if the screen is too small, I think that would easily strain my eyes.

The phrase 'Last but not the least' is commonly 'Last but not least'. The sentence structure is improved by placing 'if the screen is too small' at the start, adding commas, and correcting 'eye' to plural 'eyes' as both eyes are strained.