Computers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use more natural English and correct grammar. For example, say "I usually use a computer when I need to complete assignments because my teacher often asks us to prepare presentations." Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence flow by using linking words like "because" and "therefore."

例: I usually use a computer when I need to complete assignments because my teacher often asks us to prepare presentations. It helps me research information, type my work neatly, and create slides for projects. Therefore, the computer is an essential tool for my studies.

提案: Focus on correct verb tenses and sentence structure. For example, say "The first time I used a computer was in secondary school." Also, avoid repeating "computer" unnecessarily and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: The first time I used a computer was in secondary school. My mother bought it for me because she knew I would use it a lot for presentations and assignments. So, it has been very important for my studies.

提案: Improve sentence clarity and grammar. Use linking words like "for example" and "besides" properly. Also, avoid awkward phrases like "stay on the line"; instead, say "stay connected."

例: Without a computer, my life would be boring and much more complicated because it is crucial for my studies. For example, I often use a computer to create presentations and complete assignments. Besides studying, I also rely on it to communicate with my family and teachers, so it helps me stay connected with them.

提案: Work on sentence structure and clarity. Use correct plural forms and avoid incomplete sentences. For example, say "There are many conditions when it would be difficult for me to use a computer. In my opinion, it was difficult when I first started using a computer because I was scared of typing."

例: There are many conditions when it would be difficult for me to use a computer. In my opinion, it was difficult when I first started using a computer because I was scared of typing. Since I am not an expert typist, it was challenging for me at the beginning.

× I usually use a computer whenever I need to complete assignment because my teacher often asked us to prepare presentation.

✓ I usually use a computer whenever I need to complete assignments because my teacher often asks us to prepare presentations.

The sentence mixes present and past tense incorrectly. 'Usually' and 'need' indicate present tense, so 'asked' should be 'asks' to match. Also, 'assignment' and 'presentation' should be plural to match the context of multiple tasks.

× I usually use a computer whenever I need to complete assignment because my teacher often asked us to prepare presentation.

✓ I usually use a computer whenever I need to complete assignments because my teacher often asks us to prepare presentations.

The nouns 'assignment' and 'presentation' should be plural because the context implies multiple assignments and presentations.

× It's helped me to research information, type my work nearly, and create a slide for the project.

✓ It has helped me to research information, type my work neatly, and create slides for the project.

'Nearly' is incorrect here; the correct adverb is 'neatly' to describe typing. Also, 'It's helped' should be 'It has helped' for clarity, and 'a slide' should be 'slides' to match typical project work.

× It's helped me to research information, type my work nearly, and create a slide for the project.

✓ It has helped me to research information, type my work neatly, and create slides for the project.

'Slide' should be plural 'slides' because projects usually have multiple slides.

× Therefore, the computer is an essential tool for my study.

✓ Therefore, a computer is an essential tool for my study.

Using 'the computer' implies a specific computer known to both speaker and listener, but here it refers to computers in general, so 'a computer' is appropriate.

× The first time I use a computer when I was in secondary school, my mother bought it for me because she know clearly that I might use computer a lot for the presentation and for the assignment.

✓ The first time I used a computer was when I was in secondary school; my mother bought it for me because she knew clearly that I might use the computer a lot for presentations and assignments.

'Use' should be past tense 'used' to match 'was'. 'Know' should be 'knew' for past tense. 'Use computer' needs 'the' before 'computer'. 'Presentation' and 'assignment' should be plural.

× The first time I use a computer when I was in secondary school, my mother bought it for me because she know clearly that I might use computer a lot for the presentation and for the assignment.

✓ The first time I used a computer was when I was in secondary school; my mother bought it for me because she knew clearly that I might use the computer a lot for presentations and assignments.

'The presentation' and 'the assignment' should be plural without 'the' because they refer to general tasks, so 'presentations and assignments' is correct.

× The first time I use a computer when I was in secondary school, my mother bought it for me because she know clearly that I might use computer a lot for the presentation and for the assignment.

✓ The first time I used a computer was when I was in secondary school; my mother bought it for me because she knew clearly that I might use the computer a lot for presentations and assignments.

'Use computer' requires the definite article 'the' before 'computer' because it refers to a specific computer.

× Without a computer, my life would be bored and so much complicated because it is very crucial in my study.

✓ Without a computer, my life would be boring and very complicated because it is crucial for my studies.

'Bored' is an emotion and incorrect here; 'boring' describes the situation. 'So much complicated' is awkward; 'very complicated' is better. 'In my study' should be 'for my studies'.

× Without a computer, my life would be bored and so much complicated because it is very crucial in my study.

✓ Without a computer, my life would be boring and very complicated because it is crucial for my studies.

'Study' should be plural 'studies' to refer to academic work in general.

× For example, I often use a computer to create presentations like and complete assignment.

✓ For example, I often use a computer to create presentations and complete assignments.

'Like' is unnecessary and incorrect here. 'Complete assignment' should be 'complete assignments'.

× For example, I often use a computer to create presentations like and complete assignment.

✓ For example, I often use a computer to create presentations and complete assignments.

'Assignment' should be plural 'assignments' to match the context.

× Besides studying, I also rely on to communicate with my family and teacher, so I find out it can help me to stay on the line and stay connected with them.

✓ Besides studying, I also rely on it to communicate with my family and teachers, so I find that it helps me stay online and stay connected with them.

'Rely on' needs an object, so 'it' is added. 'Teacher' should be plural 'teachers'. 'Stay on the line' is incorrect; 'stay online' is correct.

× Besides studying, I also rely on to communicate with my family and teacher, so I find out it can help me to stay on the line and stay connected with them.

✓ Besides studying, I also rely on it to communicate with my family and teachers, so I find that it helps me stay online and stay connected with them.

'Teacher' should be plural 'teachers' because it refers to more than one person.

× There are many condition that I think it would be difficult for me to use a computer.

✓ There are many conditions that I think would make it difficult for me to use a computer.

'Condition' should be plural 'conditions'. Also, the sentence structure is improved by adding 'would make it' for clarity.

× But for my opinion I would say the time when I start using a computer because when I first got computer I felt very scared because of typing.

✓ In my opinion, I would say the time when I started using a computer was difficult because when I first got the computer, I felt very scared because of typing.

'For my opinion' should be 'In my opinion'. 'Start' should be past tense 'started'. The sentence needs 'was difficult' for clarity. 'Got computer' needs 'the' before 'computer'.

× But for my opinion I would say the time when I start using a computer because when I first got computer I felt very scared because of typing.

✓ In my opinion, I would say the time when I started using a computer was difficult because when I first got the computer, I felt very scared because of typing.

'Got computer' requires the definite article 'the' before 'computer'.

× Because I'm not an expert type person it would be difficult for me to.

✓ Because I'm not an expert typist, it would be difficult for me.

The sentence is incomplete and awkward. 'Type person' should be 'typist'. The sentence is corrected to be complete and clear.