Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and relevant: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then give one or two specific reasons. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g. 'hold an exhibition', 'I rarely show my work', 'I didn't learn drawing as a child'). Keep it concise (no more than 4–5 sentences).

例: Yes, I enjoy drawing, but I rarely exhibit my work. I never had formal lessons as a child, so I lack confidence in showing my pieces. Occasionally I create sketches for myself, and I hope to take classes so I can display my art publicly in the future.

提案: Answer directly, then give clear, specific reasons with correct linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and incorrect references. Mention names only if you can explain who they are and why you like them. Use simple, accurate sentences and a natural linking phrase like 'because' or 'for example.'

例: Yes, I like visiting galleries, especially when there is an interesting exhibition. I go to study the technique and brushwork closely, because I learn a lot from seeing how artists use colour and texture. For example, I recently liked an exhibition by a contemporary painter whose dramatic use of light felt very powerful.

提案: Give a clear yes/no answer, then explain with specific reasons and one or two details about what you want to learn. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g. 'if I had enough time', 'building my drawing skills'). Use linking words like 'but' and 'because' to connect ideas coherently.

例: Yes, I do want to learn more about art, but I currently lack time. I'm trying to improve my drawing skills and study art history so I can understand different styles better. If I find time next year, I plan to take a weekend course to practice life drawing and composition.

提案: This answer is clear and directly responds to the question. Improve by adding one specific detail about how that affected you or what you did instead, using correct phrasing (e.g. 'couldn't afford lessons', 'so I practised on my own'). Keep it concise and linked with 'so' or 'therefore.'

例: No, I didn't. My family couldn't afford extra lessons, so I never had formal training. Instead, I practised by copying pictures from books and drawing scenes from daily life, which helped me learn informally.

× I want to arch exhibition from time to time, but I seldom show because I never learned it as a kid.

✓ I want to organize exhibitions from time to time, but I seldom show my work because I never learned to draw as a kid.

Multiple problems: incorrect verb 'arch' (wrong word) and wrong noun form 'exhibition' singular/plural and missing possessive object for 'show'. Also 'learned it' is vague and uses wrong verb/object: use 'learned to draw'. Suggest replacing 'arch' with 'organize', use plural 'exhibitions' to match 'from time to time', specify 'show my work', and 'learned to draw' to indicate skill acquisition.

× Yeah, whenever I say an interesting exhibition, I would go to the art gallery to view each closely.

✓ Yeah, whenever I see an interesting exhibition, I would go to the art gallery to view it closely.

Uses 'say' instead of 'see' (wrong verb) and 'each' is incorrect for a singular 'exhibition' so use 'it'. Also 'view closely' is fine; suggestions: use 'see' for perceiving exhibitions and match pronoun number to noun.

× I enjoy viewing one goal because of his passion, and Michael because of its power.

✓ I enjoy viewing Van Gogh because of his passion, and Michael because of his power.

The original sentence is unclear: 'one goal' likely misheard 'Van Gogh' (a name) and pronoun 'its' incorrectly refers to Michael (a person) and should be 'his'. Ensure proper nouns are spelled and pronouns agree in gender and number.

× Well, I wish I could, only if I got enough time and I am still building my necessary skills to write.

✓ Well, I wish I could, but only if I had enough time, and I am still building the necessary skills to draw.

Uses 'only if I got' which is informal and inconsistent with wish; use past subjunctive 'had' after 'wish'. Also 'skills to write' seems wrong contextually—should be 'skills to draw'. Replace 'only if' placement and correct verb tense for hypothetical. Keep present progressive 'am still building' for ongoing action.

× Afraid I do not have the necessary time and energy to devote to it.

✓ I'm afraid I do not have the necessary time and energy to devote to it.

Beginning with 'Afraid' omits the subject and auxiliary; standard English requires 'I'm afraid' as a fixed phrase. Add contraction or full form to correct sentence structure.

× No, I didn't. When I was a kid, my family was too poor to offer me to learn beyond school.

✓ No, I didn't. When I was a kid, my family was too poor to afford lessons for me beyond school.

Phrase 'offer me to learn' is ungrammatical. Use 'afford lessons for me' or 'afford to send me to classes' to express inability to pay. 'Too poor to' should be followed by an infinitive verb; 'afford' fits this pattern. Alternatively 'couldn't afford to pay for lessons' is natural.