Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition and incorrect capitalization, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Also watch grammar (e.g., 'passionate about drawing', 'draw something new').

例: Yes, I do. I'm passionate about drawing, and I often visit galleries and exhibitions to find inspiration. For example, seeing contemporary paintings helps me experiment with color and composition in my own sketches.

提案: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence and one specific reason. Avoid awkward phrasing and incomplete sentences. Use a linking phrase like 'in addition' and state exactly what skills improve (e.g., observation, technique).

例: Yes, I enjoy going to galleries because they give me new ideas for my work. In addition, studying artworks improves my observation skills and helps me learn different techniques I can use in my own drawings.

提案: Be precise about why you want to learn more and avoid vague words like 'prestigious'. Use concrete goals and link ideas clearly. Keep to four sentences max and correct word choice and capitalization.

例: Yes, I want to learn more about art to develop my technical skills and broaden my visual vocabulary. For example, studying art history would help me accurately depict historical places and events in my drawings.

提案: Answer directly and provide a specific time reference or brief detail about how you learned. Avoid uncertain phrasing like 'I think' if you can give a clear statement. Keep it brief and natural.

例: Yes, I started taking drawing lessons when I was about eight years old, so I've been drawing for nearly a decade. I learned basic sketching and shading from a local art teacher.

× Definitely. I'm very passionate about drawings particularly.

✓ Definitely. I'm very passionate about drawing, particularly.

'Drawings' (plural noun) is not wrong but here 'passionate about drawing' (the activity) is more natural; 'particularly' should be placed after a comma to modify the whole clause. Use the gerund 'drawing' to refer to the activity rather than plural 'drawings'. Suggestion: Use 'passionate about drawing' to refer to the hobby/activity and place 'particularly' after a comma.

× I usually go to the gallery and art exhibition to get a lot of ideas to Draw Something new.

✓ I usually go to galleries and art exhibitions to get a lot of ideas to draw something new.

Use plural nouns 'galleries' and 'art exhibitions' for general habitual activities. 'Draw' should be lowercase and in base form after 'to' (infinitive). Capitalization error: 'Draw' should be 'draw'. Suggestion: Use plural nouns for habitual visits and keep verbs in correct infinitive form.

× Absolutely, I'm very enthusiastic about going to the gallery because it helps to me get a lot of ideas according to art and drawings.

✓ Absolutely, I'm very enthusiastic about going to the gallery because it helps me get a lot of ideas about art and drawing.

Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps'. Use 'helps me get' (correct verb pattern). 'According to art and drawings' is incorrect; use 'about art and drawing' to express topic. Use 'drawing' (activity) instead of 'drawings' when speaking generally. Suggestion: Use correct verb pattern 'helps me get' and preposition 'about' to indicate topic.

× Apart from that, it also enhances my ability as well as of the.

✓ Apart from that, it also enhances my ability.

The original sentence has an incomplete and redundant phrase 'as well as of the' which makes it ungrammatical. Removing the fragment leaves a complete, correct sentence. If more detail is needed, specify what is enhanced (for example, 'my creativity and observation'). Suggestion: Remove the fragment or complete it with a clear noun phrase.

× Absolutely, I would like to learn more about art because it is a prestigious profession and it enhances my imagination, skill and observation skills.

✓ Absolutely, I would like to learn more about art because it is a respected profession and it enhances my imagination, skills, and powers of observation.

'Prestigious' is acceptable but 'respected' is more natural here; 'skill and observation skills' is repetitive. Use plural 'skills' and a clearer phrase 'powers of observation' or simply 'observation skills'. Also add commas in a list. Suggestion: Avoid repetition by using 'skills' and rephrase 'observation skills' for clarity.

× Apart from that, I can also Draw Something historical places and occasions.

✓ Apart from that, I can also draw historical places and events.

'Draw' should be lowercase and in base form after 'can' (modal + base verb). 'Something' is unnecessary and unnatural; use the object noun phrase 'historical places and events' instead of 'occasions'. Suggestion: Use modal + base verb ('can draw') and choose appropriate nouns like 'events'.

× As far as I remember, I started learning drawing at a very young age, which I think would be nearly a decade ago.

✓ As far as I remember, I started learning drawing at a very young age, which I think was nearly a decade ago.

Use 'was' rather than 'would be' to state a past time reference. 'Would be' is inappropriate here. The past simple 'was' correctly links the time reference to a past event. Suggestion: Use simple past 'was nearly a decade ago' for past time references.