Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời tự nhiên và rõ ràng nhưng hơi dài dòng và lặp ý. Cần mở đầu trực tiếp, rồi đưa thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ loại tranh bạn thích, tần suất) và dùng liên từ để mạch lạc. Tránh cụm từ không cần thiết như “to be honest” quá nhiều lần.

例: Yes, I love drawing. I usually sketch portraits and anime characters in my free time, but recently I only draw once or twice a month because I need to study for exams.

提案: Ý chính rõ nhưng câu có lỗi ngữ pháp và cấu trúc lủng củng. Cần bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó giải thích rõ hơn bằng cách dùng mệnh đề quan hệ hoặc liên từ, và nêu 1 ví dụ cụ thể về triển lãm bạn thích.

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because they display a variety of paintings and artifacts. For example, I like exhibitions that focus on local history and traditional crafts.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và sử dụng biểu đạt không chính xác (“5050”, “stuff like that”). Nên trả lời trực tiếp (yes/no/partly) rồi giải thích với lý do cụ thể và mạch lạc, tránh lặp từ ‘always’.

例: Partly. I would like to learn more about art techniques for fun, such as shading and color theory, but at the moment I focus more on studying for exams.

提案: Ý chính có nhưng câu có lỗi thì quá khứ và trật tự từ, cùng lặp từ (“just”). Cần dùng thì quá khứ đơn chính xác, mạch lạc: mở đầu câu chủ đề, giải thích cách bạn học và nêu cảm nhận ngắn gọn.

例: No, I didn't take formal drawing lessons as a child; I taught myself by copying pictures and practicing for fun, so I always treated drawing as a relaxing hobby rather than a school subject.

× To be honest, I really love drawing, but nowadays I don't have much time for drawing, especially when I need to study all days for exams.

✓ To be honest, I really love drawing, but nowadays I don't have much time for drawing, especially when I need to study all day for exams.

Using 'all days' is incorrect for indicating every day or the whole day; the correct phrase is 'all day' to mean throughout the day. Suggestion: use 'all day' or 'every day' depending on meaning. 'All day' means the entire day; 'every day' means each day repeatedly.

× I really love going to the gallery which place include variety of pictures, arts and many things related with history and culture of that place.

✓ I really love going to galleries, which include a variety of pictures, artworks, and many things related to the history and culture of those places.

The original has multiple issues: wrong relative clause 'which place include' and incorrect nouns 'arts' and preposition 'related with'. Use plural 'galleries' or 'the gallery' consistently; 'which include' refers back to 'galleries'; use 'a variety of' + plural noun; 'artworks' is more natural than 'arts'; the correct preposition is 'related to'. Suggestion: simplify structure and ensure subject of 'which include' matches antecedent and use correct prepositions.

× I think it's 5050.

✓ I think it's fifty-fifty.

'5050' written as digits is informal and unclear in spoken English. Use 'fifty-fifty' to express that you are undecided. Also ensure contractions and spoken expressions are written properly.

× Especially when I want to relax I always draw some characters of anime and stuff like that. A cartoon.

✓ Especially when I want to relax, I always draw some anime characters and things like that, such as cartoons.

Original has article and word order issues: 'characters of anime' is better as 'anime characters'. 'Stuff like that. A cartoon.' is fragmented; combine into one sentence and use 'such as cartoons'. Add comma after the introductory clause.

× But I always prefer studying because I always need to prepare for the exams.

✓ But I usually prefer studying because I always need to prepare for exams.

Using 'always prefer' is awkward; 'usually prefer' sounds more natural. Also 'the exams' is unnecessary unless referring to specific exams; use 'exams' generally. Suggestion: choose appropriate adverb (usually, often) for habitual preference.

× To be honest since I was a child I didn't learn drawing especially when with a teacher, I just learned it by myself.

✓ To be honest, since I was a child I didn't learn drawing, especially with a teacher; I just learned it by myself.

The clause 'especially when with a teacher' is ungrammatical; replace with 'especially with a teacher'. Add commas for clarity and change sentence punctuation to avoid comma splice. Tense 'didn't learn' is acceptable for past, keep consistent. Suggestion: use clear subordinate clauses and punctuation.

× Also I just see just saw drawing like a activities to relax not a subject.

✓ Also I just saw drawing as an activity to relax, not as a subject.

Original has duplicated 'just' and wrong verb tense mix 'see just saw'. Use 'saw' for past or 'considered' if present. 'Like a activities' is incorrect: use 'as an activity' (singular) or 'as activities' (plural). Add 'as' before 'a subject'. Suggestion: remove duplicate words and use correct preposition 'as' and singular/plural agreement.