Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, umm), correct grammar (e.g. 'gives me' not 'give me'), and limit to at most 4–5 sentences. Add one specific example to support your statement.

例: Yes, I really enjoy drawing. I often spend my spare time sketching animals and plants, which helps me relax. For example, last weekend I spent two hours drawing a rabbit and felt much happier afterwards.

提案: Answer directly (Yes/No) then give a brief specific example. Avoid vague phrases like 'new adventures' and correct grammar ('the another' → 'other'). Use linking words (for example, recently...).

例: Yes, I enjoy going to galleries. For example, I recently visited the Ukrainian Museum in Winnipeg and was impressed by the traditional embroidery and paintings. I plan to visit other contemporary art museums soon to see modern works.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, explain the reason briefly, and avoid repetition ('relaxed sense of relaxation'). Use correct tenses (I chose) and singular/plural forms (options).

例: Yes, I definitely want to learn more about art. I skipped art in high school because I chose mathematics, so now I hope to enroll in a weekend painting class to improve my creativity and reduce stress.

提案: Provide a clear past-tense narrative with specific details and correct verbs (gave, used). Avoid unclear phrases like 'I remembered'. Keep it concise and include one illustrative memory.

例: Yes, I learned to draw as a child and loved it. I often drew hearts and houses and spent hours coloring books. For instance, on my 10th birthday my father gave me a set of colored pencils and a drawing book, which I used throughout my childhood.

× I love to spend my spare time by drawing pictures, animals, plants, or any other kind of, uh, building stuff.

✓ I love to spend my spare time drawing pictures of animals, plants, or building other things.

Using 'by drawing' is not wrong but sounds awkward; more natural is 'spend time drawing'. 'Pictures, animals, plants' needs linking: 'drawing pictures of animals, plants'. 'any other kind of, uh, building stuff' is unclear; 'building other things' is clearer. Use of prepositions and phrase structure was corrected for naturalness.

× I believe that it umm, give me a sense of uh, creativity and happiness.

✓ I believe that it gives me a sense of creativity and happiness.

Subject 'it' is singular so verb must be 'gives' (third person singular). Removed filler words and extra commas to make sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× Recently I have been to one of the Ukrainian museums in Winnipeg.

✓ Recently I went to one of the Ukrainian museums in Winnipeg.

Present perfect 'have been to' is acceptable for recent experiences but 'Recently I went to' fits spoken narrative and is simpler. Either is possible; changed to simple past to match the subsequent 'I was amazed'.

× I would love to explore more new things in the near future by visiting the another kind of museums.

✓ I would love to explore new things in the near future by visiting other kinds of museums.

Incorrect use of 'the' before 'another'. 'Another kind of museums' is ungrammatical; use 'other kinds of museums' or 'another kind of museum'. Also 'more new things' is redundant; use 'new things'.

× When I turned to high school, I had to skip my art subject because I choose the mathematics instead.

✓ When I went to high school, I had to skip my art class because I chose mathematics instead.

'Turned to high school' is incorrect collocation; use 'went to high school' or 'entered high school'. 'Choose' should be past 'chose' to match 'had to skip'. 'Art subject' more natural as 'art class'; omit 'the' before mathematics.

× So in the near future, if I would get a chance, I would definitely explore more art option which would increase my creativity and gives me a relaxed sense of relaxation in my mind.

✓ So in the near future, if I get a chance, I will definitely explore more art options which will increase my creativity and give me a sense of relaxation.

In conditional sentences, use present tense in the if-clause ('if I get') and future in the main clause ('I will'). 'Art option' should be plural 'art options'. Verb agreement: after 'which' referring to 'options' use 'will increase' and 'give' (base form) not 'gives'. 'A relaxed sense of relaxation' is redundant; 'a sense of relaxation' is concise.

× Of course, when I was young, art was one of my favorite subject.

✓ Of course, when I was young, art was one of my favorite subjects.

Count noun 'subject' must be plural with 'one of my' -> 'subjects'.

× I was always ready to make pictures of hearts, homes and especially filling out the color books I remembered.

✓ I was always eager to draw pictures of hearts and homes and especially to fill in coloring books, as I remember.

'Ready to make pictures' is awkward; 'eager to draw pictures' is natural. 'Filling out the color books' is incorrect collocation; use 'fill in coloring books'. Added 'as I remember' to keep the memory sense. Corrected verb forms and prepositions.

× On my 10th birthday, my father gives me a variety of brown colors and a drawing book which I used for my whole childhood.

✓ On my 10th birthday, my father gave me a set of brown crayons and a drawing book which I used throughout my childhood.

Tense should be past: 'gave' not 'gives'. 'A variety of brown colors' is awkward for art supplies; 'a set of brown crayons' or 'a variety of brown crayons' is clearer. 'For my whole childhood' -> 'throughout my childhood' is idiomatic.