Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm but needs grammatical correction and more natural phrasing. Avoid redundancy and capitalize words correctly. Try to form a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details using linking words.

例: Yes, I have a keen interest in drawing. Whenever I have free time, I like to draw because it helps me relax and improves my concentration.

提案: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence and explain your reason using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like 'can't see anything regarding gallery.'

例: Although I love drawing, I rarely visit galleries because my schedule in Winnipeg is very hectic, and I haven't found any galleries that interest me.

提案: Your answer is good but contains some unclear phrases like 'selling my network.' Use precise vocabulary and linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I want to learn more about art because it has always been my passion. In my free time, I practice different techniques to improve my skills. Moreover, I hope to turn my hobby into a business by selling my artwork in the future.

提案: Your answer has grammatical mistakes and unclear expressions. Start with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to add details. Make sure your sentences are complete and coherent.

例: Yes, I learned drawing when I was in school. I took art classes where we practiced basic sketching and coloring, which helped me develop my creativity.

× Just I have keen interest in drawing.

✓ I just have a keen interest in drawing.

The adverb 'just' should be placed after the subject 'I' to form a correct sentence structure. Also, the article 'a' is needed before 'keen interest' because 'interest' is a singular countable noun.

× Whenever I'm free, I always like to Draw Something which help me to relax and improve my focus.

✓ Whenever I'm free, I always like to draw something which helps me to relax and improve my focus.

The verb 'draw' should be in lowercase as it is not a proper noun. The verb 'help' should be in the third person singular form 'helps' to agree with the singular subject 'something'.

× Currently I'm living in Winnipeg and there is very hectic schedule I have.

✓ Currently, I'm living in Winnipeg and I have a very hectic schedule.

The sentence structure is incorrect. The phrase 'there is very hectic schedule I have' is awkward and ungrammatical. It should be rephrased to 'I have a very hectic schedule' for clarity and correctness.

× I love drawing but I honestly I never go to the gallery because I can't see anything regarding gallery.

✓ I love drawing but honestly, I never go to the gallery because I can't find anything related to galleries.

The phrase 'I honestly I never go' is redundant; 'honestly' should be used once. Also, 'can't see anything regarding gallery' is awkward; 'can't find anything related to galleries' is more natural. 'Gallery' should be plural when speaking generally.

× I just want to learn more about art because it has always been my passion and hobby.

✓ I just want to learn more about art because it has always been my passion and hobby.

No correction needed here as the sentence is grammatically correct.

× Whenever I have free time, I try to practice different art techniques to improve my skill.

✓ Whenever I have free time, I try to practice different art techniques to improve my skills.

The noun 'skill' should be plural 'skills' because 'different art techniques' implies multiple skills are being improved.

× Additionally, I hope to turn my interest into a business in the future by selling my network.

✓ Additionally, I hope to turn my interest into a business in the future by selling my artwork.

The word 'network' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'artwork' which refers to the art pieces created by the student.

× Just added learned drawing when I was so school.

✓ I just learned drawing when I was in school.

The phrase 'Just added learned' is incorrect; it should be 'I just learned'. Also, 'when I was so school' is incorrect; it should be 'when I was in school'.

× I just to take art classes at school where we practice basic sketching and coloring which helped me to develop my creativity.

✓ I just took art classes at school where we practiced basic sketching and coloring which helped me to develop my creativity.

The phrase 'I just to take' is incorrect; it should be 'I just took' to indicate past tense. Also, 'practice' should be 'practiced' to match past tense. The sentence needs consistent past tense verbs.