Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 你的回答表达了喜欢绘画的原因和具体做法，内容较丰富，但句子结构有些重复，且部分表达不够自然。建议使用更自然的表达方式，避免重复，并适当使用连接词使句子更流畅。

例: Yes, I really enjoy drawing because it helps me relax when I'm stressed. For example, I often create pictures based on photos I've taken of my family and friends, and I usually send these drawings to them as gifts.

提案: 回答中表达不够清晰，句子结构混乱，部分词汇使用不当。建议简化句子结构，明确表达自己的感受，并使用合适的连接词使内容连贯。

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because the calm atmosphere helps me focus. Moreover, I like learning about the stories behind the artworks, which makes the experience more meaningful.

提案: 回答表达了观点，但句子有语法错误且表达不够自然。建议注意语法完整性，使用更地道的表达方式，并增加连接词使句子更流畅。

例: Yes, I definitely want to learn more about art because I believe it is a fundamental part of my life. By appreciating beauty around me, I can enjoy life more fully.

提案: 回答中出现了代词错误和表达不清的问题。建议注意代词使用，简化句子结构，并使用连接词使内容更连贯。

例: Yes, I learned to draw as a child. At first, my father taught me, and later he sent me to a well-known school where my teacher encouraged me to draw what I imagined.

× Those pictures would be sent to them after I draw.

✓ Those pictures would be sent to them after I have drawn.

The sentence requires the past participle form 'have drawn' to indicate the action completed before the pictures are sent. Using 'draw' (base form) is incorrect here.

× Then she he sent me to a famous school and my teacher always told me to draw what it was in my mind.

✓ Then he sent me to a famous school and my teacher always told me to draw what was in my mind.

The pronoun 'she he' is incorrect and confusing; it should be 'he' to refer to the father. Also, 'what it was in my mind' is incorrect; it should be 'what was in my mind' to correctly express the idea.