Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınızda dilbilgisi hataları ve anlamsal belirsizlikler var. Cümlenizi daha doğal ve anlaşılır yapmak için, doğrudan soruya yanıt verip, neden çizim yapmaktan hoşlandığınızı açıklayın. Ayrıca, cümlenizi 5 cümleyi geçmeyecek şekilde tutun.

例: Yes, I like drawing because it helps me relax and express my creativity. I usually draw for fun during my free time. Sometimes, I try to sketch landscapes or portraits. Drawing allows me to focus and forget about stress. Overall, it's a hobby I really enjoy.

提案: Cevabınızda konudan sapma ve anlamsal karışıklık var. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayıp, neden sanat galerisine gitmekten hoşlanmadığınızı açıklayın. Ayrıca, cümlenizi daha açık ve mantıklı hale getirmek için bağlaçlar kullanın.

例: No, I don't like going to galleries because I find them boring. Instead, I prefer spending time outdoors or eating at my favorite restaurants. For example, I often go to McDonald's to enjoy some chicken. I think galleries are not very interesting for me. So, I usually avoid them.

提案: Cevabınız çok kısa ve açıklayıcı değil. Soruyu yanıtladıktan sonra, neden daha fazla sanat öğrenmek istemediğinizi belirtin. Bu, cevabınızı daha doğal ve etkili yapar.

例: No, I don't want to learn more about art because I prefer other hobbies. For instance, I enjoy sports and music more than painting or drawing. Also, I don't have much free time to study art. Therefore, I focus on activities I like better.

提案: Cevabınızda dilbilgisi ve anlam sorunları var. Soruyu doğrudan yanıtlayıp, çocukken çizim öğrenme deneyiminizi açık ve mantıklı şekilde anlatın. Gereksiz tekrarları ve anlamsız ifadeleri çıkarın.

例: Yes, I learned drawing when I was a kid. My school provided a 10-hour drawing course, which helped me improve my skills. I enjoyed those lessons because I like to draw. Since then, drawing has been one of my favorite hobbies.

× I usually draw draw for fun, not for. I like.

✓ I usually draw for fun, not for work. I like it.

The original sentence has repetition ('draw draw') and incomplete phrases ('not for. I like.'). The corrected sentence removes repetition and completes the thought by specifying 'not for work' and adding 'I like it' to make a complete sentence.

× No I don't, I usually go McDonald's for buy chicken furry beach Mac or something like that.

✓ No, I don't. I usually go to McDonald's to buy chicken, fries, Big Mac, or something like that.

The original sentence lacks the preposition 'to' before 'McDonald's' and uses 'for buy' incorrectly. The corrected sentence adds 'to' and changes 'for buy' to 'to buy' to correctly express purpose. Also, 'furry beach Mac' is corrected to 'fries, Big Mac' for clarity.

× Yes, actually my school was giving me 10 hours lesson about DRO how to draw it and I take it for for my purpose.

✓ Yes, actually my school gave me 10 hours of lessons about how to draw, and I took it for my purpose.

The original sentence uses 'was giving' which is past continuous but not appropriate here; 'gave' is simple past and more suitable. 'Take' should be in past tense 'took' to match the past context. Also, '10 hours lesson' should be '10 hours of lessons' for correct quantifier usage.

× Actually I like to draw. When I was kid I used to be a kid.

✓ Actually, I like to draw. When I was a kid, I used to draw.

The phrase 'When I was kid I used to be a kid' is redundant and incorrect. It should be 'When I was a kid, I used to draw' to express past habitual action. Also, commas are added for clarity.