Art— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains some language errors, such as 'learn the ring' instead of 'learn drawing' or 'draw'. Try to be more precise and natural in your language. Also, avoid redundancy by combining similar ideas and use linking words to connect your thoughts logically. For example, you could say: 'Yes, I enjoy drawing because it helps me relieve stress and recharge my energy, especially when I feel down.'

例: Yes, I enjoy drawing because it helps me relieve stress and recharge my energy, especially when I feel down.

提案: Your answer has good ideas but lacks clarity and contains grammatical errors, such as 'it's broaden their horizons'. Try to use correct verb forms and clearer sentence structures. Also, avoid vague phrases like 'it's really amusing' and be more specific about why galleries are enjoyable. Use linking words to connect your points logically.

例: Yes, I enjoy visiting galleries because they provide entertainment and inspire creativity. Moreover, galleries help people think outside the box and broaden their horizons by exposing them to various styles like realism and surrealism.

提案: Your answer conveys good points but is repetitive and has some grammatical mistakes, such as 'essential subjects around our life'. Try to be more concise and use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. Also, avoid repeating the same idea twice. For example, you could say: 'Yes, I want to learn more about art because it encourages creativity, helps us think differently, and improves our mood.'

例: Yes, I want to learn more about art because it encourages creativity, helps us think differently, and improves our mood.

提案: Your answer has some good content but is unclear and contains several errors and repetitions, such as 'I can I couldn't learn it' and 'I try my I recall'. Try to organise your answer clearly with a topic sentence and supporting details, and avoid repeating yourself. For example: 'Yes, I learned drawing in preschool and elementary school. Although I wasn't very talented, I always tried my best to improve.'

例: Yes, I learned drawing in preschool and elementary school. Although I wasn't very talented, I always tried my best to improve.

× Actually I like to learn the ring but I don't have a good penmanship.

✓ Actually I like learning to draw but I don't have good penmanship.

The phrase 'like to learn the ring' is incorrect. The verb 'like' can be followed by a gerund (-ing form) to express enjoyment of an activity. Also, 'the ring' is likely a mishearing or typo for 'drawing'. 'Penmanship' is uncountable and does not need 'a'. The correct form is 'I like learning to draw' and 'I don't have good penmanship.'

× I prefer to learn it and do it because it's a relief my stress and also it recharges my battery.

✓ I prefer learning it and doing it because it relieves my stress and also recharges my battery.

After 'prefer', the gerund form (-ing) is more natural when talking about general preferences. Also, 'it's a relief my stress' is incorrect; the verb 'relieve' should be used as 'it relieves my stress'. 'Recharges my battery' is an idiomatic expression meaning to refresh oneself, which is correct.

× I assume that when I feel blue I prefer to do drawing.

✓ I assume that when I feel blue I prefer drawing.

After 'prefer', the gerund form is more natural. 'Do drawing' is not idiomatic; instead, simply 'prefer drawing' is correct.

× And the other thing that I like to mention when people go to a gallery is they can think out-of-the-box.

✓ And the other thing that I like to mention is that when people go to a gallery, they can think out of the box.

The sentence structure is awkward. Adding 'is that' clarifies the sentence. Also, 'think out-of-the-box' should be 'think out of the box' without hyphens in this context.

× It's broaden their horizons.

✓ It broadens their horizons.

The subject 'It' is singular, so the verb should be 'broadens' (third person singular) instead of 'broaden'.

× Sometimes they portray lots of painting and reality, surrealism, painting are popular and it's broaden people's.

✓ Sometimes they portray lots of paintings, and reality and surrealism paintings are popular, and it broadens people's horizons.

'Painting' should be plural 'paintings' to match 'lots of'. The phrase 'it's broaden people's' is incomplete and incorrect; it should be 'it broadens people's horizons' with correct subject-verb agreement and object.

× Yes, I believe that art is important and essential subjects around our life because we can be creative and we can think out-of-the-box when we learn it.

✓ Yes, I believe that art is an important and essential subject in our lives because we can be creative and think out of the box when we learn it.

'Subjects' should be singular 'subject' because 'art' is singular. 'Around our life' is incorrect; 'in our lives' is the correct prepositional phrase. 'Think out-of-the-box' should be 'think out of the box' without hyphens.

× And the other thing that I like to mention, it can relieve our stress and also improves our mood and is essential subject during our life.

✓ Another thing I would like to mention is that it can relieve our stress, improve our mood, and is an essential subject in our lives.

Starting with 'And' is informal; 'Another thing I would like to mention is that' is clearer. 'Relieve' and 'improves' should be parallel verbs: 'relieve' and 'improve'. 'Essential subject during our life' should be 'an essential subject in our lives'.

× Yes, I recall that during preschool and elementary school we had lots of subject.

✓ Yes, I recall that during preschool and elementary school we had lots of subjects.

'Subject' should be plural 'subjects' to agree with 'lots of'. The past tense 'had' is correct.

× One of the most popular subject was drawing.

✓ One of the most popular subjects was drawing.

After 'one of the', the noun should be plural 'subjects' because it refers to one among many.

× Since I didn't have any talents in this field, I can I couldn't learn it, but I try my I recall that I tried my best to do it.

✓ Since I didn't have any talent in this field, I couldn't learn it, but I recall that I tried my best to do it.

'Talents' is usually uncountable in this context; 'talent' is correct. 'Can I couldn't' is incorrect; 'I couldn't' is correct. 'Try my' is incomplete and should be removed. The past tense 'tried' is correct.